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Because the nightly news is too depressing and hate filled.
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I shop at Goodwill all the time. Closest I’ve ever come to art is Elvis on velvet and dogs playing poker.
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I don’t eat Cup Noodles, why in the world would I want to paint my face or nails to match?
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When you have a head that looks like you’re constantly flipping someone off, it pays to look surprised.
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Guest house might be stretching it, but boy… I wish these had been for sale when my MIL was alive.
🤣
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Because life is filled with ridiculous scraps of nonsense.
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Chocolate and wine? I’m joyous just thinking about them.
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Proof positive drinking beer does pay. Even dishwater brand beer.
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I only have one thing to say… you’re doing it wrong.
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Makes me wonder what they saw….
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Because I live for odd headlines.
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If they’re anything like Twinkies, I’m sure they still tasted fine.
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Yes, in 1945 American GI’s liberated a little girl’s birthday cake along with Italy. She looks quite happy now, so I guess what they say is true… it’s never too late for cake.
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While we welcome all wild visitors for a nosh at Casa River … this makes me glad I don’t live in Florida.
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Is this really a gift? I’m going with no.
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Because I prefer news that makes me laugh.
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This would be my husband’s dream come true… and might very well happen to whoever buys our house when I’m a widow.
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Is this a thing? Damn. I’ve been missing out on extra income for decades.
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This photo makes me realize my beloved Boston Red Sox are slackers who’ve just been phoning it in.
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Joseph Yoon can bite me.
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The plethora of stupid headlines assures I will never run out of things to share.
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I’m going to pass on ordering one of those, just as I do on the extended car warranties.
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Now there’s an item positively screaming to be hung in the man cave bar.
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I don’t know about you, but I honestly don’t want to know the answer to that.
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*crosses Texas off her vacation destination list*
Who am I kidding? It was never on there in the first place.
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You can’t use it, but it’s news all the same.
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Wait a minute… they’re growing brains in laboratories? Can we please send a few to the nation’s capitol, they seem to have run out.
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Gee, I never saw that coming.
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I can think of a few uses myself. Boat anchor, fire starter, brick mortar, roof sealant… the list is endless.
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Because admit it, you’ve been wondering.
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There. Mystery solved.
You’re welcome.
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Smart phones. They’ve changed the world, and not always for the better. I readily admit I can’t live without mine, and after reading this article….
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It may be genetic.
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I can see how international travel would raise the cost of a honeymoon, but $20,000…. in the U.S.? Must be a seriously swanky resort.
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Beware my Georgian friends. Lizards be hungry.
And finally, because you know I have to include it….
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Shuck corn.
Boil corn.
Eat corn.
And I didn’t need to waste 4 years in journalism school, so there.
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Because I like to keep my readers well informed. .
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This is good news. Next time the husband ignores me while watching some ludicrous old western on tv? I’m going outside to talk to the ‘shrooms.
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For the love of God, why? Who would buy such a thing…
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You heard it folks, move fast.
Like you have to after each and every time you eat at McDonalds.
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I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say if you have a 36 foot yacht? You’re probably not that worried about work in the first place.
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Yes, from the people who brought you How To Bake A Potato … the sequel.
Wash sweet potato.
Pierce sweet potato.
Bake sweet potato.
Riveting stuff… no?
🥴
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After two years of Covid inactivity and a year and a half of dealing with a painful knee injury? No amount of exercise is going to bring my butt back to life. Take it out back and bury it, it’s done.
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Damn. That’s a bonus check I could totally get behind.
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Any guesses what is?
Forget garlic and basil, the answer is fish sauce. Mamma Mia!
🤢
And finally, in this crazy world where everything is out to get you… mercury in tuna fish, lead in drinking water, E. coli on lettuce… I have to admit I never saw this one coming.
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I don’t use one, so I’m safe.
For now….
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This week, my headlines were full of questions….. and I’m counting on you to provide some answers.
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I once ate a chocolate covered grasshopper. Unknowingly, because I was a child at my father’s office party and the buffet table that was laden with caviar, oysters and foie gras held absolutely no appeal. I saw chocolate. I ate chocolate. I was immediately sorry and spit the crunchy chocolate into a napkin. When I saw the chocolate had legs? I may have screamed. Needless to say that was the last Wall Street brokerage firm party I ever attended.
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This must be a trick question. It contends that people acquire whiskey and fail to drink it. This does not compute.
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I have to admit I’ve never thought about this….. but damn. I’m hoping my brain dies with me. The thought that I’ll be navigating the afterlife without one while my brain is still here contemplating the mysteries of life (The Yeti… missing link or just Nick Nolte after a particularly rough weekend? Justin Bieber…. they say he’s Canadian, but I’m thinking alien life form. Jimmy Hoffa… is he really dead, or just kicking back in Boca enjoying the early bird special at Golden Corral? ) is quite troubling.
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Tough call, right?
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River's world..... 