Tag Archives: news

News you can’t use.

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Let’s take a peek at the recent headlines on my news feed, shall we?

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Not just no, but Hell no. There’s a long list of things I refuse to do naked and hiking is in the top ten.

Can you say poison ivy?

😳

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Is there a french fry shortage in the United States? Why was I not informed!

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Pay $54.92 to take a selfie on the Iron Throne? You betcha!

Sign me up.

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Viola! the cure for what ails you. To heck with Alexander Fleming, Dr. River prescribes three or four of these….and don’t call me in the morning. Not that you’ll be able to anyway.

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Cheers to your good health!

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News you can’t use.

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A few useless headlines from my news feed, just because.

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Help me out here Florida people. Does this really happen? And if so, why are you not posting pictures! Random lizards falling from the sky should rate a blog now and then.

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It’s official… even the Queen is feeling the pinch of inflation. Keep your eye on eBay, there might be some nice jewelry up for bid soon.

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Most excellent. Here’s hoping they let Willow roam the halls of Congress and poop in Ted Cruz’s briefcase.

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Are we?

I’m not, but if you are … please share. I’ve heard it’s called the God molecule and people experience death when tripping. That doesn’t sound like my idea of a good time, but to each their own.

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Sonoran desert toad is not impressed.

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News headlines I could happily have done without reading.

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It’s been a shitshow of a year hasn’t it?

While I normally roll with the punches, I have to admit sitting here on the last day of 2021 has got me a trifle depressed. Our lives have been put on hold for too long and I’m more than ready to disconnect the pause button.

With that in mind, reading the news probably wasn’t the best idea… but what the hell. How much worse could it be?

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*Note to self – don’t ever ask that question*

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Of course it will. I would expect nothing less.

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I’ve never been on a cruise, and to be honest that type of vacation never interested me. ‘Floating petri dish’ has done nothing to change my mind.

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Apparently NASA is going to rent space stations from private companies in the future. I don’t even want to know how many billions of dollars will literally go up in smoke when the current station goes poof.

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Is that what I look like in my skinny jeans?

Now I really am depressed.

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I love my town.

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It’s time for small town news again…. so city folk can see what they’re missing.

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No worries. Said piggy was reunited with his family and is safely back home.

The want ads in small rural towns tend to look a bit different.

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Spleeny- New England : peevish and irritable with hypochondriac inclinations.

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I’m almost afraid to ask why someone wants to rehome a skeleton.

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I’m going to pass this one on to my husband because he came home from breakfast with the boys the other day bitching that his omelette had gone up a dollar.

I know I’m paying more for groceries, it stands to reason restaurants are as well.

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Pandemic humor

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Because I’m still trying to laugh.

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Funny, but true.

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For those of you who need pictorial directions.

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Brilliant idea. Wish they would do that.

And I know it’s too early for Christmas…. ( Yes people, it’s too damned early! Shove that elf back in the closet. Or better yet, burn it. I hate that little bastard. ) but I may need to buy this ornament.

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I love my town.

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Headline news is a little different in my small Maine town.

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Record breaking pepper? Someone call CNN!

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While I do have experience in caretaking bossy, moody diva cats and I seriously love me some chickens… fish? They’re just too needy.

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Momma Mia! That is one huge wasp domicile.

And finally, I saved the best for last.

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I’m crossing my fingers and toes this idea becomes a reality… and shall donate accordingly.

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Just a little grumble.

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We all know what passes for news these days is a joke. Gone are the days when reporters simply reported the facts and let you make up your own mind. Now there are left leaning stations and right leaning stations and we only listen to what we want to hear from those who reinforce views we already hold.

It’s a sad state of affairs.

And who determines what’s newsworthy? These days it’s probably based on the number of clicks… and that’s sadder still.

A while back I was scrolling through articles on my phone and saw this:

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Yes, this is what passes for news. A mother might have been scolding her child.

Alert the media!

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I think anyone who has had to deal with a teenage boy can relate to the “judgmental finger” but honestly…. did I need to know this? No.

Is it newsworthy? Not even close.

Am I done ranting?

Yes.

Yes I am.

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For all my male friends… a question.

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I read a disturbing article the other day. And while I may not be the most trendsetting, up to date person on the planet…. I have to ask.

Is this a thing?

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Forget about the charges and legal proceedings…. ‘semen terrorism”? Do men really go around ejaculating on unsuspecting women’s purses and coats?

WTH!

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Property damage or sex crime… whatever. Apparently South Korea is having an epidemic of men hiding cameras in women’s bathrooms and hotel rooms as well. But the semen thing? Come on, that’s beyond disgusting.

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In May, a male civil servant was sentenced to a fine of 3 million won on charges of “property damage” for ejaculating inside his female colleague’s coffee tumbler six times over the course of six months. The court judged that his actions “ruined” the utility of the container.

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Yes. That’s the issue.

A ruined coffee mug.

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Miscellaneous musings.

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I saw this the other day and was sorely tempted.

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I totally need cherry tomato toting ants.

In other local news….

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Such a neighborly thing to do.

And lately a dip in the pool has been sounding wonderful with temps being hot, hot, hot.

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Of course this is Maine, so while it felt like 104 one morning…

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Two days later it felt like 45.

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I replanted my left over garden bed with geraniums after the baby woodchucks ate all the petunias.

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But not before the little bastards darlings chewed all the leaves off my gay feather.

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At least they left the blooms this time.

🥴

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Now I’m wondering what an appropriate beef jerky card message would be.

I wanna hold your ham?

Nice to meat you?

Don’t go bacon my heart.

I have a t-bone to pick with you?

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