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Because we all need a little more silly in our lives.

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I’ve had my share of asshole plants. Matter of fact, I’m looking at one right now.

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See it up there taunting me? Scraggly, half dead. Yellow and brown tipped leaves so I don’t know if it has too much water or not enough. What a jerk. And talk about a misnomer. It’s called a Philippine money tree but hasn’t dropped a single 20 dollar bill on me in the 5 years he’s lived here… the rat bastard.

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Umm… far be it for me to argue with granny, but that doesn’t look like a lady to me. Check your ad copy nana. He doesn’t need a bra as much as a girdle.

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Unexpected? How hard is it to chop celery for heavens sake.

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When they’re right, they’re right.

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