We live in the country with a large back yard…
A field….
and some woods.
This leads to a lot of avian visitors.
Some of whom sadly commit suicide on our windows.
I wasn’t here when this particular bird went splat, but it did leave me a rather prominently placed clue in our bedroom.
A perfect dead bird body print.
Complete with wings.
RIP little one.
Remember a while ago I posted a picture of the sunflower seeds the chipmunk from Hell had planted in my petunias… and how they were growing?
Well over the past few weeks they grew tall and budded, and then started disappearing. One by one… shredded, stripped of leaves, and gone.
I’ve seen a few grasshoppers, so I thought maybe that was the reason.
How pathetic is that?
One lone stalk remained.
Then I woke up this morning and saw….
A woodchuck…
On the table.
That’s something I hadn’t seen before.
First there was a little pole dancing….
Then he got down to business.
So now I know why there won’t be any blooming sunflowers this season.
He made short work of it and left me this…
As well as this…
Yes, I could have yelled and scared him off, but I admit … I laughed instead.
We’ve had woodchucks all year and they haven’t touched a single plant, shrub or flower. Which if you’ve ever had woodchucks, you know is highly unusual.
So I let the little devil have the sunflower.
The fact that he can even get his fat butt up on the table to begin with is comical and worth the price of a sunflower to view.
Crazy real estate agent’s photos part 3, and let’s start it off with a bang.
Or a boom as the case may be..
There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to start. Aside from the obvious WTF factor…. this guy looks like he’s getting ready to goose you. Why are his hands open wide? Why do you have to reach into his chest to flush? And considering what he must see everyday… why the hell is he smiling?
Wow.
Someone clearly had too much time… and acrylic paint… on their hands.
Just your normal bathroom/dining room combo…
And bathroom/kitchen combo….
And bathroom/bedroom combo.
Porches.
Not just for outside anymore.
When you live in the city… but your wife really wants a cow.
Because sun shade awnings are stylish anywhere.
Proof positive there is such a thing as too much togetherness.
Truly.
I’m not sure what’s more disturbing about this bizarre bathtub… the fact that it’s covered in carpet?
That it has 4 decorative poles?
Or that it appears to have an electric heater installed on the side?
I don’t know.
I really don’t.
Because my photo files are filled with critter pics.
A wet fox.
Two wet foxes.
Okay, okay… moving on.
Baby woodchuck.
These pics are a month or two old, they’re not babies anymore.
I can’t tell you exactly how old because my stupid camera’s date and time setting is broken and everything registers 1/1/1980.
Why? I have no frickin’ clue.
Buck, on the field line.
Doe, in the field.
Wet skunk.
Wet skunk and deer.
This next one is blurry, but how often do you get a shot of a deer sticking her tongue out at a skunk?
Skunk Rule #1?
Do not be rude to skunks.
They will make you pay… and the photographer’s house will stink for a week.
More woodchucks….
Eating apples.
And woodchucks eating deer grain.
More deer.
And deer eating deer grain.
More skunks.
More foxes.
Skunk and fox.
Please remember Skunk Rule #1.
There is no Skunk Rule #2…. when the tail goes up?
Run.
More woodchucks.
I’d like to tell you that’s all the photos…. but it’s not even close.
That’s all for now though.
Autumn is closing in.
And it’s my favorite time of the year.
The air is crisp, the trees are full of apples….
And if you’re lucky enough to live in Maine like I do?
Mother Nature puts on a glorious show of turning leaves.
(Yes, those are my photos. And yes, those are my apple trees.)
But this year?
There’s something I’m not looking forward to.
The annual Pumpkin Spice’d every damn thing but condoms invasion will be rolling out shortly, and while that’s annoying enough….
This year?
There’s a new kid on the pumpkin spiced block.
It’s true… as well as disgusting.
Yes.
Pumpkin Spiced Spam.
Forget changing leaves and brisk breezes — pumpkin spice is the official harbinger of fall. And, for better or worse, Spam is entering the flavor fray.
While there’s no amount of money that could convince me try it and report back….
If one of you would, I’d appreciate a first hand account of how truly awful it is.
Tried to photograph 4 fawns frolicking around your back yard… at dusk…. through a window?
It’s not easy.
And most of your shots come out looking like this:
Or this:
They look rather like ghost deer…
But I assure you they were corporeal beings.
They just rarely stand still.
Or face the camera.
The video is poor quality, and a bit shaky…. although it gets slightly better halfway through.
But you’ll see what I mean about frolicking.
Multiple Bambis!
There.
You have now fulfilled your cuteness quota for the day.
I did.
And yes, I know.. I know… the Russians own my pictures now. But Mark Zuckerberg’s had them for years, and Google and Amazon probably know my bra size. It’s the world we live in.
FaceApp.
It came out back in 2017, but just recently went viral.
Before everyone realized it was owned by a Russian company, we all flipped the f*ck out had fun watching ourselves age.
Example:
The normal photo of me.
The FaceApp aging photo of me.
I mean, HOLY HELL!
If that doesn’t make you run for the retinol cream, nothing will.
Personally, I prefer the anti aging, younger version.
Oh, to be that young and sweet again.
(Okay, I was never really sweet per se… but I could do without the bunions.)
Said no man, ever.
But you can see how addicting this app can be…. and why it’s so popular.
Normal me?
Old me.
Ack!!
Young me…
Ha!
Not even old enough to drink.
Christ on a cracker… I’m a crone!
With the big hair and eye liner? I look like an aging hooker.
There, that’s better.
Quick, get me a Tardis…
I wanna go back!
Why yes.
Yes, it was…
For Kathy, a picture of my mom for comparison.
When it’s hot in Maine? You head for the coast where the sea breeze cools the temperatures considerably.
So that’s what we did on the July 4th weekend.
We battled the tourist traffic on Route 1 and headed north with a cool and calm demeanor.
Seriously….. there’s a reason we call you people Massholes. You’re not going to find a barista on every corner in this state, please go back to Boston.
Boothbay Harbor was packed, so we kept going.
Through downtown Rockland where they clearly wanted us to eat something. Hopefully not the building itself.
And through downtown Camden where the cows are always smiling.
Camden is a gorgeous harbor town with lovely old homes lining both sides of the main street.
This one always catches my eye…
Not your typical New Englander to be sure.
We wanted to stop for a drink and a bite in Lincolnville….
But sadly the Whale’s Tooth Pub didn’t open till 4:00pm.
So we ended up in Belfast, down by the harbor.
Which is always a good choice.
To be continued…
I put birdseed out for the birds….
Which the deer eat.
I put apples out for the deer….
Which the woodchucks eat.
Granted, they’re cute as all get out when they do…
But do they have to eat the deer grain as well?
Sometimes they climb right in the bowl and polish it off.
Which leads the deer to eat…
It’s a vicious circle.
And proves that our backyard creatures are a little confused.
Like this Baltimore Oriole….
Who tries to drink from the hummingbird feeder.
Yes, you.
The owner of this house spends a small fortune keeping you in fresh oranges and grape jelly…. don’t get greedy.
Of course….
This guy?
Eats whatever…
And whoever he wants.
Okay, technically…. outside the house.
But I spotted a few of these beauties the other day…
And realized it was time to get the Baltimore Oriole feeder out.
20 minutes later…. after tearing the utility (read – I don’t know where else to put all this crap) closet apart, I remembered a raccoon had broken last year’s feeder trying to drink the nectar and I never replaced it.
May in Maine means Orioles.
It also means there’s not a feeder to be had within 500 miles. We northerners are starved for color after a long white winter and take our bird feeding seriously.
Jeff Bezos to the rescue.
Good thing I don’t use Alexa.
2 days later Amazon Prime came through with an interesting new triple threat feeder.
A flat dish for nectar.
Spikes for holding orange halves.
And 4 reservoirs for grape jelly.
I’d never done the jelly before, but Holy Hell! They love it.
Welch’s….
Giving birds diabetes since 1923.
River's world..... 