Tag Archives: traffic

Franconia Notch

.

This is the road you have to drive if you visit the White Mountains.

.

.

The Notch was famous for The Old Man in the Mountain, a natural stone outcropping that resembled a face. Sadly, it crumbled years ago but there’s a museum devoted to it at the Canon Mountain gondola sight where you can grab a glimpse.

.

.

Peak foliage was long past when we drove through and everything looked very grey.

.

.

But it’s still an impressive sight.

.

.

And a huge tourist destination.

.

.

This was the road the day we drove it. Below was the road two weeks before…

.

.

There’s something to be said for traveling off season. No traffic jams for us.

.

.

Not as colorful, but definitely smoother sailing.

.

.

Never a dull moment…

.

An udderly strange traffic hazard.

.

I always see news reports of the traffic jams in California and sigh. While I grew up in New Jersey and saw my fair share of highway clusterf*cks, I have to admit the traffic issues in rural Maine are much more pleasant to deal with. Like this one we came upon the other day…

.

.

Someone got loose and decided the grass was indeed greener on the other side of the fence.

.

.

While it wasn’t a heavily traveled area, that section of road was a straightaway and people tend to fly by. Not wanting to see a large pile of hamburger on our return trip, we tried to coax the soon to be road block back into the field.

.

.

That did not go well so we knocked on the farmhouse door. No one was home, so we tried a neighbor.

.

.

No luck there either, so we tried again to convince the bovine to rejoin the herd.

.

.

Ever try to argue with a cow?

.

.

We lost the battle, but left a note on the farmer’s door.

The road was happily pot roast free when we came back from our appointment so that’s a good sign.

.

Mainers really hate Red’s.

.

I stumbled on a rather odd Facebook group page the other day.

.

.

And while I doubt I’ll join, I can appreciate the sentiment.

.

.

Red’s Eats is a Wiscasset landmark, a popular tourist destination and a long running bone of contention for anyone who has to drive through the area. Locals laugh at the outta staters who stand on line for an hour for what is seriously sub par seafood. (And trust me, they’re all outta staters… no self respecting Mainer would pay $38 for a lobster roll.) But the reason behind the page and its flamboyant parade of finger waves are the atrocious traffic jams this silly little take out trailer produces. A drive through town that should take 3 minutes? Will sometimes take you 30.

So without further ado… I bring you the only appropriate thing to do should you happen to drive past Red’s Eats.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Look! They even have tee shirts.

🤣

.

.

.

P.S…. if you visit Maine and decide you have to try this universally loathed establishment? Please unfriend me first.

.

I love my town.

.

In the continuing series Small Town Life Be Different…. here are the latest missives from mine.

.

.

This was so sweet. Our local UPS man… who distributes doggie treats on his route… is in the hospital with pneumonia, so all his four legged customers posted pictures.

.

.

Because traffic alerts in the country are less about speeding and more about manure.

.

.

Every year the women of the Historical Society sew a quilt with local scenes to be auctioned off.

.

.

The Town Office bought the first one where it still hangs proudly.

.

.

Yes, I showed this to the husband. And no, he hasn’t removed his absolutely no chickens ban.

.

.

Yikes. Critters that crawl under your house and die are the worst. But I can’t say I’ve ever known one to stink of garlic. And speaking of stinking…

.

.

Word to the wise… if you think it’s your year? It most definitely is. 🤢

.

.

As he predicted, this man’s post got a whole lotta hate. He’s new to the area… and I’m guessing he isn’t going to be very popular. Buying a house in a rural part of Maine means generations of the previous owners might still be inhabiting your back 40. A man up the road from us has a cemetery from the late 1700’s on his land. He doesn’t know the family or their descendants, but lovingly cares for the plot all the same. It’s called respect.

.

Pandemic humor.

.

Because if I don’t laugh, I’ll scream.

.

.

That looks about right.

This year you’re screwed no matter which way you go.

.

.

Karen.

That slut ruins everything.

.

.

Admit it, we’ve all been there.

.

.

This literally made me snort.

.

.

I’ve been hearing banjo music for a while now…

.

.

That’s a pretty accurate representation of my year. How about you?

.

.

One can only hope.

.

.

You first. I’ll hold your purse….

.

How big is big?

 

Big is a relative term.

I think my butt is big, but then I look at J Lo and Beyoncé and feel positively svelte.

So in an attempt to answer the title question..

 

 

Yes, traffic lights are that big…. which makes your go to excuse of “But I didn’t see that red light officer” a trifle lame.

Moose are this big.

 

 

This might surprise people who don’t live in Maine or Alaska, but yes. Hit one with your car and you’ll find out just how freakishly gigantic they really are.

The pyramids?

Yup.

Pretty big.

 

 

And to be honest, this picture made me cross climbing to the top of one off my travel bucket list.

And finally, for Masercot. Who has never fully gotten on board the wombat bandwagon.

There’s wombat big.

 

 

Big and beautiful.

Yes sir.

They got that right.

Day 16…. the trip home.

 

As we were leaving the resort for the 12 hour plus drive home, I found this behind a door.

 

IMG_2353

 

Clearly the previous tenants vacationed in the coat closet and didn’t want to be disturbed.

And yes, you read that correctly. This will be my last blog about the Williamsburg, Virginia vacation.

 

 

To think it only took me 60 posts to get here!

So…. it was a grey overcast morning the day we left.

 

IMG_2428

 

And I have absolutely no idea what this was.

 

IMG_2429

 

But here’s the Washington Monument….

 

IMG_2432

 

And the entrance to a tunnel.

 

IMG_2431

 

Was my husband obeying the speed limit?

No.

 

fast

 

He never does, but when you’re riding in a rental Brontosaurus and the lanes get smaller due to construction? My blood pressure ruses when he approaches 100 mph.

 

IMG_2434

 

I also look out the side window a lot.

 

IMG_2437

 

 

Although it’s hard to focus properly at that speed.

 

IMG_2440

 

Playing with my phone helps…

 

IMG_2441

 

As does laughing at some slightly painful road names.

 

IMG_2442

 

Here’s the Delaware Memorial Bridge.

 

IMG_2446

 

And the toll ticket that cut off our George Washington Bridge exit price on the bottom.

 

IMG_2471

 

For those of you who have never seen the New York City skyline on an overcast day from the New Jersey Turnpike at 90 mph?

 

IMG_2473

 

Here you go.

 

IMG_2474

 

 

IMG_2478

 

Next up was the George Washington Bridge, where I usually close my eyes and pray to the God of Tequila that I’ll live to see another margarita.

 

IMG_2488

 

Ironically… as soon as I started filming, the husband slowed down. Which is a good thing since the roads were potholed and in horrible shape.

 

 

Traffic was a nightmare.

 

IMG_2495

 

But it always is.

 

IMG_2498

 

And every time we pass these massive apartment complexes….

 

IMG_2500

 

I realize how blessed we are to  live in the country.

 

IMG_2501

 

Was this water blowing off the top of that truck?

No. It was smoke, because something was probably on fire. When we crept up next to it and signaled the driver there was a problem?

He flipped us off.

 

213yel

 

Ya gotta love New Yorkers.

 

IMG_2505

 

The rest of the trip was long, traffic laden and uneventful.

We were even too pooped to make our normal pit stop at the tax free New Hampshire liquor store.

 

pregfunny-fitbit-548x500

 

Technically I took a few more…. but still.

Why is sitting in car doing absolutely nothing for 13 hours so damn tiring?

 

I love my town…. Part 6.

 

Time for an update on the stories making the news on my town’s Facebook page.

Traffic jams are awful, no two ways about it…..

But in my town?

 

 

Untitled (2)

 

They’re not always bumper to bumper.

 

Beep-beep-im-milk-truck-go-home-bessie-youre-drunk-Cow-Meme

 

And then there was this:

 

IMG_2839

 

No, damn it! I did not.

We’ve lived here over 17 years and the only moose I’ve seen was a dead one on I-95.

Trotting right down Main Street?

 

bullwinkle-keeping-it-real_o_508246

 

Another missed opportunity.

And finally, there was this:

 

IMG_2840

 

My first thought was the zombie fish apocalypse had begun… and I started to get a little nervous.

But it turns out a bald eagle was fishing the river, dropped his sturgeon while flying and decided to munch on it in situ.

 

 

Because the thought of zombie fish taking over my blog?

Not cool.

 

Are you ready for a vacation smackdown?

 

You had 2 days off in between trips… and I threw in some Bambi pics as well. Are we good?

Good!

I admit I might have gone a little overboard with the Williamsburg, Virginia vacation photos this time…. like 3,089 pics overboard.

So sue me.

It was a fabulous trip, a marvelous Christmas and a wonderful place to explore. What can I say? When I’m old and feeble I’ll enjoy looking back on them all. (If I can remember why there are so many pictures of rocks…. and who that strange man is of course.)

Time to fasten your seat belts and loosen your pants!

The trip starts now.

 

1tzqxj

 

Okay… but fair warning, that may not be until June.

Not wanting to put the miles and wear and tear on my car, we rented one. Well, I rented one. A mid size SUV like I always do… but when we arrived at the lot, they didn’t have any and had to upgrade us to luxury.

Cool beans!

We could pick the Audi or the Infiniti.

So what did my husband pick?

 

IMG_0088

 

The Chevy Suburban.

 

 

Which happens to be the biggest, thirstiest, most annoying  lumbering behemoth vehicle ever made. A nightmare to park. A horror show for short people like me to board. A useless third row seat we didn’t need and couldn’t figure out how to fold down. Gas stations? We dreaded the mere sight of them after a few days. So why did my spouse choose it?

Because it was big.

And he’s a man.

Enough said.

Our trip from Maine started out like this:

 

IMG_9871

 

With buckets of the same for the first few states.

 

IMG_9872

 

When we were nearing Hartford, Connecticut it let up, but we hit road construction….

 

80773706_2652910504763678_6074626766494760960_n

 

And this rather precarious way of shoring up of the highway made me cringe.

 

81670183_2652910484763680_7535318523657060352_n

 

I guess I should be glad they didn’t use duct tape, but still.

 

 

Next up was my least favorite part of the trip….

 

IMG_9881

 

New York City.

Don’t get me wrong, I was born and raised in New Jersey… I can hang. But riding shotgun with my  (leadfooted, 2 centimeters from the car in front of us, switch lanes like it’s the Indy 500)  husband…. in the Black Brontosaurus?

Would test Ironman’s nerves.

 

IMG_9885

 

Though I can honestly say it’s the only time in my life I’m thankful for bumper to bumper traffic.

 

80981420_2652910594763669_2712527251949223936_n

 

Reduce speed?

 

80710769_2652910688096993_1144966701188644864_n

 

I don’t think that’s possible.

I’d post some great pics of our trip over the famous George Washington bridge, but the husband always takes the upper truck level…. so basically this was my view:

 

IMG_9886

 

But here’s one peek through the fog.

 

81041008_2652910648096997_4973202439457996800_n

 

After the bridge? It’s New Jersey…

 

80603574_2652910751430320_1714074259027918848_n

 

And the swamps they built the Meadowlands on.

 

80613286_2652910761430319_7536733612301877248_n

 

If you’ve ever wondered where Tony Soprano and his boys dumped the bodies?

It would be here.

 

80715259_2652910794763649_5109104915624493056_n

 

Oil refineries aside, you have to admit that the foul, smoggy New Jersey air does make for a dramatic sky.

Onward through the evening we drove, with the husband choosing our route. If you know me…. you know I’m type A and like to plan. Letting him pick a spot for us to spend the night was torture, but I sucked it up and endured.

I endured him picking a random town in Delaware because he liked the name, Red Lion.

Did Red Lion, Delaware have any hotels you ask?

No.

It did not.

And trust me, we drove around for almost an hour trying to find one even though I Googled it and came up empty. We did however find this:

 

80640896_2652911028096959_2699043047504609280_n

 

A Christmas extravaganza house that was blocking traffic.

 

81007923_2652911014763627_4643948618754031616_n

 

I can barely keep 2 reindeer lit… WTH?

After admitting defeat, the husband drove another 40 minutes to Dover, Delaware and pulled into the first Holiday Inn he saw.

 

IMG_9922

 

I had my doubts when I saw the lounge was decorated in early bordello. Yes… satin furniture and rhinestone encrusted mirrors.

Thankfully our room was toned down from that…

 

IMG_9918

 

But it did have some interesting features.

 

80568185_2652911444763584_3452171421193601024_n

 

Mainly, the lighting.

 

IMG_9915

 

Is it me?

 

IMG_9917

 

Or did this over the bathroom sink fixture look like deer hooves?

 

IMG_9916

 

Come on…

There’s no reasonable Martha Stewart explanation for that.

 

 

And while this corner lamp reminded me of my mother and her pull down hair dryer of the 1960’s…..

 

80695155_2652912084763520_7388661582525366272_n

 

It was these over the bed reading lamps that were a little too proctology/gynecology themed for my taste.

 

IMG_9914

 

And don’t get me started on the art work.

 

IMG_9919

 

Really, don’t.

What the…. what?

So ends day one.

(And before you start screaming Martin…. road trips with my husband consist of a McDonalds lunch eaten in the car doing 90 mph and a perfectly horrible turkey dinner at a Bob Evans next to the hotel late that night. Neither were photo worthy!)

 

Cape Cod Day 8…. turkeys, traffic and booze. The way most of our vacations end.

 

Day 8 dawned bright and sunny and it was time to pack up and head for home. Of course packing means different things to men and women. It takes me considerable time…. seeing that I actually unpack my suitcases and put things away.

Remember? Me unpacked…

 

IMG_9418

 

Husband’s idea of unpacked…

 

IMG_9435

 

Men.

You really are a separate species.

 

IMG_9421

 

The local turkey brigade came to wish us farewell.

 

IMG_9422

 

And soon we were crossing the famous Sagamore Bridge and leaving Cape Cod.

 

IMG_9735

 

It was a wonderful trip, and we enjoyed every minute of it. So much to see and do…. I’m sure we’ll go back someday.

Next step?

 

IMG_9741

 

Boston.

 

IMG_9738

 

And it’s horrible, absolutely inescapable, bumper to bumper traffic. If you can avoid it?

By all means, do so.

Cruising into New Hampshire on I-95 means one thing. The New Hampshire State Liquor store…. no tax!

 

IMG_9744

 

If we drive to our vacation? We stop here on the way back…. you almost have to. It’s like a rite of passage for New Englanders.

Snow.

Lobster.

And tax free booze.

What’s not to love?

 

IMG_9769

 

My haul this time included a few Game of Thrones inspired Johnnie Walker Christmas presents.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

And here’s a bone I’ll throw to all my food lovers.

Lunch.

 

IMG_9749

 

At a riverside restaurant.

 

IMG_9746

 

With an amazing beer selection.

 

IMG_9747

 

And a list that went on and on and on…

 

IMG_9748

 

To heck with the food…

 

IMG_9753

 

I could just happily sit there and drink all day.

 

IMG_9750

 

But yes, food.

 

IMG_9751

 

Homemade chicken tenders and side salad for the husband.

 

IMG_9752

 

And a massive portion of Truffle fries to accompany my chicken Caesar salad wrap.

So there you have it, the November Cape Cod trip.

The end.

Finito.

Done!

 

 

While I realize it took me until January 20th to finish this series, as I sit here typing this… I still have over 2 weeks worth of Williamsburg, Virginia Christmas vacation photos to sort through and post. So don’t be surprised if you’re seeing Santa and his reindeer right through April….

You’ve been warned.

 

that-would-be-great-kill-me-meme