Tag Archives: sales

My favorite kind of sale!

 

When the local nursery has a half price and buy one get one free sale in July?

 

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You fill the back of your car.

 

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Find room for some in an already full bed.

 

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And replant the pots that your resident woodchucks munched to stalks.

 

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Hopefully with flowers they don’t like.

 

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And when the nursery extends the sale to the end of the month?

You go back again.

 

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And cram even more flowers in a bed that’s already full just because you can.

 

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While a red squirrel watches.

When you’re done?

You sit back on the barn porch and enjoy an adult beverage before dinner.

 

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And watch the old doe walk up to have a snack.

 

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Life is good.

I have a question.

 

So if someone could tell me what this is?

That would be great.

 

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Because I was out shopping with a girlfriend a month ago and found something on the ladies clearance rack I can’t explain.

 

 

Let’s ignore the fact it’s butt ugly.

And there’s a random patch of black lace on a sweatshirt.

Let’s also ignore the clashing colors of the plastic gewgaws on the breast.

 

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What. The. Utter. F*ck?

Is there a group of low limbed mutant women roaming my state?

 

 

Or maybe they have 4 arms….. and can’t decide if they want to go sleeveless.

Either way, I can’t begin to fathom how anyone else would be able to wear this monstrosity.

 

Lead, follow or….. well, you know the drill.

 

I think we’ve had this conversation before, but if you’re a business…. hawking vitamins, web design, crptyocurrency, pet meds and/or ways to increase my readership…. I will drop your follow-ship like a hot rock.

 

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I don’t need an inflated follower count and am perfectly happy with old fashioned bloggers who rather read and interact than sell me something.

So, yay me.

 

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I’ve been zapping people left and right lately, and I’m sorry…..

 

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But sex young girls love you can find here?

You didn’t make the cut.

 

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No, not really.

InTheNameOfSeitan gave me pause…..

 

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Until I learned Seitan just means wheat gluten.

Phew!

That could have gone bad quickly.

Can they spare it?

 

Have you ever shopped Origins?

It’s a high end supposedly all natural line of skin care, scent etc.

 

 

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I stopped in the other day with a girlfriend and while she was buying, I was browsing.

Naturally I was stalked by a saleswoman.

If you know me, you’ll know I hate this… and if you trail me around like a blue tick hound?

I won’t buy anything just out of spite.

I’m in your store. With my wallet. There’s a good chance I’ll buy something if I like it… so leave me the hell alone.

She wouldn’t… so I didn’t.

Seeing her commission walk out the door was apparently too much for this woman, because as I was leaving she handed me a sample pack of products….

 

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With a long detailed description of how wonderful they were and how much I would love them.

It was a little mushroom heavy for my taste… but hey, free is free.

Free?

Maybe.

But when I got home and opened the samples?

 

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The quantity, or lack there of…. surprised even me.

 

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Sorry Origins.

I’d like to tell you I loved them…

But you didn’t give me nearly enough to find out.