After we settled into resort #2, we tried to pick a day’s activity that we could all enjoy… because yours truly was not visiting another theme park, no matter how much I loved that child.
Hence the Virginia Living Museum in Newport News. Part zoo, part aquarium and lots of interactive children’s exhibits.
Because who doesn’t love a velociraptor Santa Claus?
An extensive boardwalk wraps around the wildlife enclosure where little people can run to their heart’s content.
And the old folks can enjoy the beauty of a red fox…..
And a bobcat.
Who even though a wild cat, still enjoyed a cardboard box.
Insert required cute group photo here.
There was a plastic dinosaur section…..
Where little hands could get filthy excavating some plastic bones.
Injured vultures…..
And bald eagles were next… this one with a clearly broken wing. And if you’ve ever wondered how large an eagle’s nest is?
Yeah. They’re pretty damned large.
More boardwalks, more running.
And some shore birds…
Whose antics I could easily have stood and watched all day.
Sunday dawned bright and sunny and our visitors wanted to check out the Manor House at the Historic Powhatan Resort.
The smallest of our group thoroughly enjoyed it.
Especially when she found a pint sized door just her size.
Shame it wouldn’t open.
But the game room was a good second choice.
I had occasion to use the rest room this trip….
And immediately fell in love with a sink.
Is that wrong?
Sadly, it was Sunday….. and that meant it was time to change resorts.
When we time share travel and I’ve never been to the area? I usually choose 2 different resorts for our 2 week stays in case one of them is a dud. Of course we adored this first place and hated to leave….especially when Gracie found this under the bed when we were packing up.
Proof positive there were no dust bunnies.
But, ever onward.
I was slightly appeased when we drove across town, found the road that led to the new resort and saw this on the corner.
Ample tequila in walking distance is never a bad thing.
The Wyndham Kingsgate actually got higher reviews than the Powhatan we’d just left, so I was expecting something special.
On first glance?
It looked like a school.
And their pond was totally goose-less.
Strike one.
The closest thing they had to a Manor House was the activities center which consisted of a few pools, a gym, and numerous video game machines.
Strike two.
The buildings were much closer together with more units per building and though it was empty in this picture…. the parking lots were filled to capacity the whole time we were there and didn’t have reserved spots. We circled and hunted for a place every damned night.
Strike three and we hadn’t even been inside yet.
Thankfully the 2 bedroom/2 bath unit was pleasant…… albeit smaller than the first resort.
But the furniture was nice quality….
The kitchen well stocked….
And though the balcony was the bare minimum….
The king sized beds were comfortable.
I did take issue with the fact the master bathroom was smaller was than the guest…..
And while the shower was attractive it only had that one tiny shelf which barely fit a bar of soap. What’s a girl supposed to do with her shampoo, conditioner, bath gel, loofah, razor etc.?
Piss poor planning if you ask me.
And while the guest bath was also attractive, there wasn’t a heck of a lot more room to move around.
See?
There isn’t even an entire horse in the picture…. that’s small.
But we did get the second floor that my husband always has to have. Which Destiny was actively cursing when she offered to drag my suitcase up to it.
I believe her grimace is in direct proportion to it’s weight.
The girls relaxed while we put the food away…. and Gracie drew me something to put on the refrigerator.
I was thinking something like this would be more appropriate….
It was finally dark enough to check out the lights we’d paid a small fortune to see at Busch Gardens.
Have you ever stood in a freezing cold circle of strangers and stared at a tree?
We did.
And I felt like a Who.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as the next person.
But Christmas in Busch Gardens? Loud and crowded, filled with screaming, unruly, sugared up children as well as their rude, cell phone addicted parents…. and utterly devoid of the old world charm they were attempting to replicate?
No.
But we smiled… and enjoyed the company of those we love.
If not the techno extravaganza.
I read there were 10 million lights in Christmas Town…. and I believe it.
If it stood still? They lit it.
Admittedly there were some pretty spots.
But the crowds pushed you along at a pace not conducive to enjoying them.
There were numerous theaters you could enter and view a show…. for a large price.
But we did stumble on this extremely blue one for free.
Naturally there was no place left to sit…
So we stood off to the side and listened for a while.
Until our teeth were chattering again.
Thank God for the warm up stations.
At least they got that right.
This was an impressive section of lights.
Although I was constantly getting bumped into when I stopped and attempted to focus a shot.
That tree at the end?
Shone like the sun.
It was so damn bright….. I think my retinas actually screamed.
In case I forgot to mention it….. trying to stay together and find your way around this place in the dark amidst the crowds of screaming children and oblivious parents? A total nightmare. We had no idea where we were half the time and by the time we decided to head back to the parking lot?
We couldn’t find a map, no less the exit. And I think they plan it that way. We even went into the stores and asked the staff how to get out …. but they looked at us like the proverbial deer in headlights.
Maybe they never get out…
I don’t know.
Asking the plastic polar bears seemed like a waste of time.
So we kept walking.
Took a right past the ice castle…. then a left…. then a right… and another left…. and backed up… and crossed a bridge…. and turned around….. and found ourselves back at the damned ice castle.
We walked and walked.
And shivered and chattered and froze.
We also blessed the day man discovered fire.
But then we finally saw something familiar.
And I was never so happy to see a fake European village square in my life.
Joy to the World my *ss.
I was only joyful when we found the exit, waited on yet another long line for the shuttle, rode the sardine can to the parking lot with 50 tired, cranky children and worn out adults and got into our car.
I think we’ve established we are not theme park people.
So spending 6 hours at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg while on Christmas vacation?
It’s billed as the prettiest theme park in the country.
And while I doubt that’s a very high bar…..
It’s plastic fantastic fake European villages failed to impress….. seeing they were less village and more overpriced stores filled with gimmicky tourist merchandise.
It was enough to make me drink.
Warm Apple Pie Cocktail in hand… we continued.
(You knew it was coming, don’t look so surprised. If ever I was in dire need of alcohol? It was then.)
So we paid a fortune, had drinks in hand and a 7 year old who wanted to go on some rides. Problem was… most of them weren’t operational for Christmas.
This did not go over well with the little person in our midst.
She couldn’t drink, and she didn’t care about fake Europe… she just wanted some rides!
We found a few animals to distract her.
But it was cold and she was growing more bored with each step. Every ride we passed? Locked up tight.
And then viola!
I spotted a gondola.
3 adults and a midget. We’re in!
So we get on line.
A long line.
A very long line that took us almost 40 minutes to reach the end.
We boarded, anticipating a leisurely ride over the park.
And I kid you not, after taking this picture….
And this video….
Which lasted 40 seconds, we were done.
One second of ride for each minute we waited on line. Totally worth it!
Not.
We landed in “France”.
And you know what? I’ve been to France…. this wasn’t even close.
Still not finding a working ride, I spotted Hogwarts and the child’s eyes lit up.
Yay me!
Boo Busch Gardens…. it was blocked off and locked up tight.
I was beginning to hate this place.
Psychedelic camera toting bear aside.
Did I mention it was cold?
I mean down right freezing for southerners and even quite brisk for us Yankees after a few hours of walking.
At least this made her laugh.
If we had known all the fun kid stuff would be closed? We wouldn’t have gone in the afternoon but just waited until after dark for the lights.
Even the scooter brigade looked disappointed.
We did mange to find an old time carousel.
Where we waited on line for another 30 minutes to ride for 30 seconds. You could seriously get whiplash from how quickly these things end.
Magic dragons were climbed on….
Towers were explored….
More alcohol was needed….
Okay, maybe that was just me.
Rope bridges were crossed….
Even by the husband if you can believe it.
Another warm up station later, it was starting to get dark enough to see some lights.
And yes, as cold and miserable as I was….. I was going to wait until dark for the lights we paid almost $300 to see.
Before I regale you with yet another day of our vacation adventures….. a little personal history.
In case you hadn’t guessed? The husband and I don’t have any children. It was a lifestyle choice we made many years ago and haven’t had cause to regret it. But back in the early 90’s we took a neighbor’s child under our wing when her single mother was having a hard time.
She was the child we never had….
We helped raise her…..
And since she had no contact with her real father, my husband took over the role.
Attitude adjustments et al.
She wasn’t ours biologically…..
But she will always be the child of our hearts.
We’ve watched her grow into a beautiful young woman…
And now she’s happily married…..
With a child of her own….
And we feel like we have a grandchild as well. They still live in North Carolina so whenever we’re near…. we get together. She loves that we have a timeshare and enjoys staying with us at the various resorts. On Day 8 of this trip? She and her daughter joined us for the weekend before Christmas.
When they arrived? A goose traffic jam…
I love me some goosers… so pardon the ridiculous tone of voice I use in the video.
As well as me cursing out the idiot who was honking their horn at those sweet little waddlers.
After their 4 1/2 hour trip, Destiny and Gracie were hungry so we took them to that great seafood place we’d found… Fat Tuna.
We stuffed ourselves silly with hushpuppies, cornbread and shrimp and grits….
While the husband opted for a seafood pasta.
This was in anticipation of where we would be spending the afternoon and evening… because when you have a 7 year old? Sitting around chatting with a cocktail isn’t going to cut it.
So the husband and I did what we never… ever!… do.
We went to a theme park.
And it was just as awful as I knew it would be.
We stood in a long line to board the shuttle.
We crammed onto the shuttle like sardines.
We waited on long lines to buy overpriced tickets…. and not even a funny spare tire cover could make up for what we were about to experience.
(I hope he was talking about the jeep and not his wife.
I really do.)
But yes…. the husband and I shelled out $240 frickin’ dollars to visit Christmas Town at Busch Gardens.
No senior discount, no military discount, no under 12 discount.
Suck it Santa!
Did I mention it was also $20 to leave our car in the north 40, somewhere south of bumblef*ck Egypt parking lot?
$260 just to walk in.
Kill me now.
But we were there with people we loved…
And my husband… who never wants to pose for photographs?
I could bore you to tears with all we saw that day, but let this suffice..
A portrait of an evil cherub who looks like she’s ready to stab Fido with an already bloody knife.
But no.
It’s just a 17th century pacifier. “Your mouth is sore sweetie? Here… suck on this metal and coral pointy thing.”
No wonder she looks pissed off.
“Inveterate dysenterical fluxes”.
Doesn’t that sound like fun?
The museum was filled with artifacts unearthed from the original site.
And things thrown down the communal well.
Naturally, the husband was appalled at the waste of all those perfectly good rusty tools.
The takeaway from most of the history we read?
We might romanticize the idea of the first settlers… opportunity, adventure, a brave new world etc., but in reality? It was starvation, illness and death.
And Pocahantas…. of whom much is written and little is really known.
The only actual image drawn during her lifetime is this English portrait:
A much later Anglicized version of her true self.
Child trading. A fact of which I was heretofore unaware.
So there you have it, historic Jamestown.
Where a t shirt we saw in the gift shop said it all…..
Leaving Jamestown, we got back on the Colonial Parkway…..
And saw some deer.
Some swamps.
And a whole bunch of these strange mounds.
Too small and numerous for beaver.
Any southerners care to weigh in on what constructs them?
The Parkway slides along the James River….
And was a lovely, peaceful, traffic free drive.
Except for the black vultures.
Which are neither lovely nor peaceful….
And often cause their own traffic jams when they discover a fresh kill.
And no, I didn’t include a photo of the canine corpse.
River's world..... 