Monty Python and Spam….

 

Did you know the reason we call annoying and repetitive messages sent online  ‘Spam’  is due to the 1970 Monty Python sketch that poked fun at the infamous mystery meat?

 

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And while I can’t abide that gelatinous pink brick either…

My WordPress Spam never fails to disappoint.

Take Will for example –

may you
be rich and continue to help others. I am sure this post has touched all the internet viewers, its really really fastidious article.

Thank you Will.

I pride myself on making my posts as sparkling clean as possible.

 

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And then there’s Katie who read my blog about Ding Dongs and said –

This post actually made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Clearly the poor woman had been searching high and low for junk food enlightenment . So glad I was able to help…

 

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Kevin is definitely a fan –

I want the actual valuable material you provide in your
articles.

 

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Thank you Kevin. I shall continue to provide the superior quality posts you’ve come to know and love.

Roger asks –

Where can i give apart my used handicap scooter?

I’m not sure why he thought I would know, as I’m hoping it will be many years before I need one.

 

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And finally, the Pretty Guinea Pig made another appearance with –

Can You Snort  500mg cialis 

To which I reply…

 

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No more Cialis for you Randy!

 

Party food.

 

Are you one of those perfect people who makes flowers out of radishes?

 

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Or clever and whimsical fruit displays?

 

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If so…. kudos to your food creativity.

If you can also make watermelon sculptures like this?

 

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I hate you.

And please stop…. you’re making the rest of us look bad.

Whenever I try to get to artistic with food?

It ends up like this:

 

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So I had to laugh at a friend of mine who had a Game of Thrones season premiere party at her house last weekend.

 

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There are only two things recognizable as GOT.

The wall… with some added severed heads on top for effect.

And the sausage.

GOT watchers will understand andcringe…

For the rest of you?

Here’s a hint.

 

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Drive by likings….

 

I love to blog.

 

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(I like to think so… but in reality? No.)

I love to read other people’s blogs.

 

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(That looks more like an ostrich egg, but who am I to turn down free food?)

I love to comment on other people’s blogs and have them comment on mine.

 

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(Yes…. Yes I can.)

For me, it’s all about connecting. And I’ve been doing it for over 14 years.

Finding a small tribe of like minded weirdos is comforting, and I enjoy it.

So while I’m relatively new here, and I realize WordPress is a large site with scores of people who try to profit from, or make a living out of it…. I’m constantly dumbfounded by the amount of shadow bloggers who inhabit this space.

They like my post, sometimes they follow me…. when I know damn well they’ve never read a single word I’ve written.

Do they even exist?

 

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Example.

 

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This person (?) has 418 followers…

And 85 likes on a post that isn’t even a post.

WTH?

How can you like something that doesn’t exist?

 

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(Okay, never mind… that’s fabulous.)

But please tell me what the point is here, because I’m confused.

Drive by likings.

Shadow followers.

Why?

 

 

It was a Game of Thrones day miracle….

 

In case you didn’t notice, Sunday night ushered in episode 1 of the final season of the epic HBO series Game of Thrones.

I’m a huge fan girl and had been looking forward to it for a long time.

 

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I was wearing my shirt…

 

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Twitching in anticipation…

And expecting the usual  – I don’t like GOT even though I’ve never actually watched GOT –  look from my husband.

It goes something like this….

 

 

But this was the final season!

I was excited, I was nervous, I was sad….

 

 

But I was also speechless, because at 9:00 Sunday morning my husband…. the husband who for 8 years had refused to even entertain the idea of watching GOT… asked to watch GOT.

From the beginning.

 

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I was shocked.

And quickly hit the DVR before he changed his mind.

So we watched GOT.

For 15 hours!!

 

 

All of season 1 and most of season 2.

He loved it…. and was absolutely hooked.

 

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It took all the restraint I could muster not to wear a smug satisfied grin.

 

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And no, I didn’t even say that.

Although it damn near killed me not to.

Monday morning brought Patriots Day (a New England recognized holiday)  and my husband…. asking for more GOT.

 

 

10:00 in the morning till 11:30 at night.

Season 2 and most of 3.

Epic!

He’s never binge watched a series in his entire life, but at the rate he’s going he’ll be able to watch the final season with me in real time.

That’s the good news.

The bad news?

When I asked him halfway through season 1 who his favorite character was and he said Ned Stark.

Oops.

 

 

 

 

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

 

I was cleaning out my desk the other day and found an old brochure for Adult Education.

Then I remembered I’d started a series on some of the more interesting classes when I first started blogging here…

 

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

 

Yes, you can learn some weird things in Maine.

So let’s continue….

 

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Good.

I’m glad someone is.

Today’s class?

Mindfulness.

 

mindful

 

O-kay.

The definition?

1. the quality or state of being conscious

 

So let me get this straight…

For $95, and over the course of 6 weeks, they’re going to teach me to be conscious?

To be honest, that’s not usually something I have a problem with…. unless I’ve had too much to drink.

 

 

And as I read the class description I kept picturing this:

 

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But for the hell of it, I tried practicing being in the moment…

And it didn’t seem too difficult.

 

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And I figured…

I got this.

Who needs a class?

 

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Yeah.

It didn’t work.

But that’s okay, I’d much rather buy $95 worth of Girl Scout Cookies anyway…..

Because Babs and I need to chat….

 

I’m going to take a (semi) serious moment here.

 

Dear Barbra Streisand,

I’m not a fan.

I’ve never been a fan.

And while I admit to liking The Way We Were back in the day, that had more to do with a young, delicious Robert Redford than you.

 

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Okay, I get it.

You can sing.

But your poor me, I’m an ugly Jewish girl persona wears thin. You’re a multi millionaire, surrounded by luxury, awards and adored by half the world….

 

barb

 

So your nose is big.

Boo frickin’ hoo.

Get over it!

My butt is big and I don’t have millions of dollars, but you don’t hear me whining.

(Well, maybe a little.)

That being said, I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that your recent comments about Micheal Jackson’s accusers left me liking you even less.

Could you have been any more callous?

I don’t think so.

 

In an interview with The Times of London published on Friday, Ms. Streisand also showed sympathy for Mr. Jackson, saying, “His sexual needs were his sexual needs, coming from whatever childhood he has or whatever DNA he has.”

“You can say ‘molested,’ but those children, they were thrilled to be there,” she continued. “They both married and they both have children, so it didn’t kill them.”

 

 

 

 

No, it didn’t kill them.

But wow.

You said Micheal Jackson had pedophile DNA.

 

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If you watched  “Leaving Neverland”  and gave a statement like that?

You are one cold hearted bitch and have lost the single grain of respect I previously had for you.

 

Sincerely,

River….

A thoroughly disgusted non fan.

 

 

 

 

 

Well, it must be nice.

 

Tax time is upon us, and like every other year…. we pay.

And pay.

And pay.

And pay.

 

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It’s bad enough the government swallows half our paycheck during the year..

But every April?

 

 

They want more. **

So I wait until April 14th to file.

I’m petty that way.

Tax laws have changed this year, and no… I’m not going to get political.

But the instructions on the payment voucher did make me laugh.

 

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No checks of $100 million or more accepted?

Damn.

Now I’m going to have to get cash.

As if.

At first I thought, well… it must be nice to be able to write a check like that.

 

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Yeah.

If you can write a check like that?

Chances are you won’t have to.

 

 

And that pretty much sums up our tax collection system.

 

**  If you don’t know who Laura Moon is?

Watch Neil Gaiman’s American Gods on Starz.

It’s mind bending, trippy and totally rocks!

 

 

Sunday is coming….

 

And devoted Game of Thrones fans like me have been waiting years for this day.

Years!

 

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It’s the beginning of the end….. and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard a little something about it.

To be honest, I wasn’t on board with GOT at first. Fantasy is not my genre and I didn’t see the appeal. But then I stumbled on a copy of the first book at a doctor’s office and was hooked. I flew through them all… which is saying something. (Have you seen them? The Easter Island moai weigh less.)

And having read the books, I had to binge watch seasons 1-3.

Yes, I had to.

 

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Holy crap!

Thrones never disappoints.

Did I mention there are dragons?

Well, there are.

And they rock.

 

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And cook… apparently.

I won’t drone on about about the fantastic global locations, the intricate plot lines or the multi dimensional characters. I won’t wax poetic about the wow factor or the oh no they didn’t!  jaw dropping twists and turns.

Suffice it to say there’s never been a television show quite like Game of Thrones, and there probably never will be again.

So tomorrow? Don’t disturb me.

I’ll be wearing my shirt….

 

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And happily immersing myself in the realm.

 

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For the night is dark and full of terrors.

And if you don’t know what that means?

I may have to rethink our entire relationship….

 

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See?

You probably don’t get this joke either….

And that’s just sad.

UFC – turkey division

 

Have you ever seen a turkey smackdown?

I hadn’t, and to be honest….

I’m not anxious to see it again.

When there’s snow on the ground, we get wild turkey visitors. They come in for the bird seed that falls under the feeders and while the husband will shoo them off due to the copious amounts of poo they leave behind….

 

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I usually enjoy their comical turkey antics.

Until yesterday.

When it turned into a brawl.

 

 

It went on for what seemed like forever.

 

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Two combatants, who I assume were males fighting for spring mating rites…

 

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Went at it hard and heavy.

 

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They bounced, and flew, and scrambled, and chased each other all over the back yard…

Until this happened.

 

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Not sure if you can tell by the picture…

 

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By one bird literally had his beak down the throat of the other.

They seemed to be stuck… and were thrashing like crazy.

It was horrible to watch.

 

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While I usually don’t interfere in nature, after what seemed like an eternity I finally went outside and made some noise.

It startled them and thankfully they broke apart.

I’m sorry, but no amount of sex is worth that!

 

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I believe it.

Damn!

Those little buggers are mean.

 

 

 

Pink sky at night….

 

Sailor’s delight.

Pink sky in morning….

Sailors take warning.

 

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Our backyard sky Sunday morning.

 

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Uh oh.

 

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Our weather has been wacky lately.

Bright sun and 55 degrees one day….

Cold, snow and bitter wind the next.

 

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Oh well..

We’ll get there eventually.

 

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But not today….

 

 

Me, shoveling Tuesday morning…..

And not really enjoying April.

Come on spring!

 

 

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Nothing blooming here but snowflakes…

But that doesn’t mean I can’t import a little now and then.

 As for the upcoming holiday?