Monthly Archives: July 2021

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What’s blooming?

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Peonies!

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For a dramatic pop of color you can’t beat them.

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And the scent? Ooh la la.

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I fill our home with vases every summer and it’s positively glorious.

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If you’ve never planted one, they can be a little tricky to get started… but so worth the effort.

In other garden news…

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My rose is starting to put on a show.

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The blooms almost look painted.

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And after a few teaspoons of fertilizer and a good soaking with the hose?

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More blossoms than I can count.

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Yes, it’s a beautiful time of year.

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I love my town…

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You never know what serious news stories will be discussed on my town’s Facebook page. The economy? Yes. Climate change? Sure. But I live in Maine…. so likely as not? It will be this:

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Bear poop beats the G-7 Summit any day.

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The conversation got heated and had to be removed by admin. We take our poo identification seriously up here.

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Now that’s my kind of neighbors.

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Someone is selling peony blossoms for $3 a pop?

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Woot!

I’m going to be rich.

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I’ve read that the cost of rental cars had gone up, but $3,000 for a week?

That’s beyond insane.

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Random tidbits

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Read the following listing carefully.

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Possibilities of seasonal views. Which means – From your heavily wooded lot, in the dead of winter when all the trees are bare, if you stand on the edge of your bathroom sink and crane your neck to the north? You might see a tiny section of ice covered pond water.

Technically they’re not lying, but still.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten loves his toys. He loves them so much he shreds an average of one a week.

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It’s a veritable catnip mouse slaughterhouse around here.

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That sums it up nicely.

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Do I need that?

Now that you mention it… I might.

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This sounds like the perfect summer cocktail.

Cheers!

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I blamed the wrong critter.

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Ever since we painted the barn/man cave the perfect shade of red, I’ve been sputtering about recovering the porch furniture because now… it clashes.

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I recently bought some color coordinated fabric and found a local woman who’s going to do the job.

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Me… sew? Yeah, that’s not happening. So while I was waiting for the seamstress to tell me she was done with prom and wedding dress alterations, I saw this:

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WTH?

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The edges of all the cushions had been shredded!

I ranted, I blamed woodchucks. I cursed, I blamed mice. I sputtered, I blamed chipmunks. But guess what?

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The real culprit..

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Was a bird looking for nesting material.

Mother Nature. She has all manner of ways to drive you crazy.

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Maine speak… part one.

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If you’ve ever visited my state and had a conversation with the locals, you might have been baffled by some of our regional expressions. You had no idea what the hell we were talking about? No worries… I’m here to help.

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We say this a lot. (But please ignore the ‘how’. It should be now.)

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Hint – “The County” is usually uttered with derision in southern Maine. Aroostook is potato country, way up by the Canadian border…. we have to pump sunlight to those people.

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This a is a very popular word in my neck of the woods. It affirms a position as well as cutting off the need for further discussion. Mainers can be a taciturn bunch.

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Personally, I don’t use this term. The word tourist and it’s synonyms… snowbirds, outta staters, Massholes ( specific to people from the Boston area ) are much more common. But these people do swarm our best areas from June to September and are extremely easy to spot.

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Like this couple we saw the other day.

Mainers. Do. Not. Wear. Bibs. When. Eating. Lobster.

Ever.

🤣

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You little rat bastards.

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I was not pleased.

Not at all pleased to find the marigolds everyone told me to plant to because animals hate them flowers I’d so lovingly tended were being beheaded.

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My first thought was woodchucks because those little devils have decimated my gardens in the past. So I liberally sprayed everything with coyote urine. ( Helpful hint – don’t do this on a windy afternoon like yours truly. People will shun you for days.)

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The next morning?

Another beheading.

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The day after that? Two.

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Third day? Three decapitations and multiple plants nibbled down to nubs.

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I was livid and rethinking my woodchucks are so cute! policy. Until….

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I watched a mouse come out from under the baby barn and try to drag a marigold blossom in. Mice? Since when do mice eat marigolds? Do I have a mutant strain of blossom munching rodents nesting in our lawn mowers? Turns out I do, and though I never ever resort to poison?

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When I found multiple piles of rodent poo, I did. No mutant mouse is going to nest in the husband’s new $5,000 zero turn tractor. Uh uh. Not happening.

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Someone thought these were a good idea.

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Miniaturized weaponry?

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Sure, what could go wrong. And advertised for use in school? Even better… though something tells me the teachers Union might not be on board.

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Chin fat? Even if I had it, I doubt I’d be wearing this chamber of horrors device. Why does that woman look happy wearing what amounts to a facial fireplace….

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Good grief. I get enough animal bites from an annoyed Lord Dudley Mountcatten, I don’t need ear nibbling Tyrannosauruses.

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