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Because if I don’t laugh, I’ll scream.
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That looks about right.
This year you’re screwed no matter which way you go.
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Karen.
That slut ruins everything.
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Admit it, we’ve all been there.
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This literally made me snort.
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I’ve been hearing banjo music for a while now…
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That’s a pretty accurate representation of my year. How about you?
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One can only hope.
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You first. I’ll hold your purse….
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First it was not at all temporary temporary doors. Then insulation and a ceiling and new light fixtures and floor moulding and quarter round.
Now?
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The husband is installing strapping to cover the plywood ceiling seams.
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Technically this is finish work. And we all know that is not where his talents lie.
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Was the strapping straight?
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Not so much.
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Of course when I helpfully pointed that out, I got booted from the barn/man cave/Maine Taj Mahal.
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When I went back 2 hours later? He informed me the strapping wasn’t right and needed to be redone.
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Hmm. Why didn’t I think of that?
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Cutting and more cutting.
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Cutting around the light fixtures I tried to tell him to center 2 weeks ago.
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But all the cutting resulted in straighter lines.
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Aggravating? No doubt.
But…
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We did have gorgeous fall foliage in the background so I’ll call it a win.
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Yes, the husband found another classic horror film while eating lunch the other day.
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The Green Slime, circa 1968. By the time I tuned in the slime had turned into tentacled creatures…
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And the perfectly coiffed nurses were desperately trying to save the injured.
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The creatures were relentless. Think Jehovah Witnesses…. they never give up.
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There was hand wringing and high pitched shrieking and numerous quivering lips.
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But never fear ladies, the hero has a high tech gizmo cart which will save the day.
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Only it didn’t…
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And the space station was soon in peril.
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Mission control had no answer.
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So an escape pod was launched.
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But no! There were creatures outside ready to block its path.
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Cue the hero and his handy dandy ray gun… he barbecued them.
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And then, just when you thought it was safe…. creatures were interfering with lift off on the bridge.
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Our hero battled bravely…
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Or maybe he experienced an interstellar orgasm, it’s hard to tell…. either way, he sacrificed himself for the greater good. The pod escaped.
And the station with all the burning creatures went down in flames.
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Yes sir.
A classic piece of cinema.
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My MRI was today… and after they made me strip naked and dress in scrub pants that were 3 sizes too small and double hospital johnnys that were 12 sizes too big, they did their thing on my knee.
A solid half hour of cacophony later, I got a souvenir.
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I know they give you ultrasound pictures of your baby in utero, but I’m not sure I’ll be having a look at all the fluid on River’s knee reveal party anytime soon.
And yes, though I’ve gotten the swelling down with elevation and ice packs, there’s still a lot of fluid where fluid shouldn’t be.
Good news? No torn ligaments and minimal damage to my MCL.
Yay!
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Bad news?
My meniscus tear is a deep root tear which is more serious, slower to heal and could require surgery.
Boo.
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But I did a zoom meeting with my orthopedist when we got home and she said we’ll try to avoid that.
More ice, more exercises and a cortisone shot next Friday to speed up healing so I can do more load bearing.
Load bearing? I know I’m a bit overweight, but that seems a trifle harsh.
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Have you ever noticed how quickly sunsets change?
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I see a pretty one out the window…
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And by the time I grab my camera it’s almost over. Rather like life….
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Fall came early this year.
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And while I do love the colors, peak foliage came too soon.
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What was supposed to pop in October, popped in September.
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And as much as I’m ready for this year to be over, this is one part I wish would last a little longer.
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So this is my life.
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I elevate, ice, read, and groan every time I have to move. Not how I envisioned spending my favorite time of year.
The foliage is peak, the temperatures are blissfully cool and I’m stranded on the couch like a beached Beluga.
There are very few good things to report when you’ve torn your meniscus and damaged your MCL, but one must take solace where one can.
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My husband feeling guilty for his mobility and finally installing the new blinds in the office? The ones that have been sitting next to his desk for the last 3 months?
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My husband breaking the special order extra wide curtain rod for my Waverly valance after I told him to be careful because they’re tricky to take down? Because he has no patience for anything the least bit domestic and never thinks I know what I’m talking about? Because he was cursing a blue streak as he tried to tape it back together?
Solace for a couch bound whale wife.
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Please excuse the 2 six packs, 5 bottles of wine and the jug of premixed cherry limeade margaritas in the corner.
My liquor cabinet is full… and Jeff Bezos can only do so much.
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Another veggie bonanza.
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Tomatoes, beets, leek, basil, carrots, parsley, squash, radish, chickory, spinach, Korean melon and yes… the dreaded kale.
It’s lovely having fresh organic veggies right out of the ground and buying less at the grocery store’s produce section.
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Tastes like an artichoke. Then why not buy an artichoke? I’m so tired of wannabe food.
Be what you are…. and be happy!
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No.
Burgers are not made from plants! Not in my world anyway. But did you notice the oh so cleverly named Incogmeato only has 32% less fat than the real thing? Where’s the other 68% come from… lard coated arugula?
I’ll pass.
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Right Rice made from vegetables is wrong.
So wrong in fact, check out the bottom left corner of the package. It’s made from chickpeas, peas and.. rice.
Rice made from rice.
What a novel idea.
And then, because I live and shop in Maine? This was also available for purchase:
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A map of mooses.
(Meese?)
Big goofy looking things with horns, often seen in the company of a squirrel.
You can’t miss them.
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We thought we’d found the perfect used car for our 19 year old niece. A 2008 Hyundai Sante Fe with only 60,000 miles. It was clean, had new tires, brakes, struts, alternator and battery. It rode well and shifted smoothly.
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It was a one owner car with a clean record.
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The price was on the low end of a fair market range.
But because I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t trust anyone, we took it to our trusted mechanic/old friend for a once over.
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He crawled under it to check for rust.
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He put it up on the lift to check whatever you check when you put a car up on a lift.
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He checked the engine and fluids and belts.
He even test drove it.
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We were pretty sure it would get his seal of approval until we pulled back into his garage …
And the dreaded check engine light came on.
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Hooking it up to his handy code reader…. it said error POO18.
Poo is rarely good, but no one wants to spend thousands of dollars on an engine full of it.
P0018 is the OBD-II generic code indicating that the camshaft position sensor A for bank 2 does not correlate to the signal from the crankshaft position sensor.
The bank 2 intake camshaft is out of position compared to the crankshaft position. The bank 2 camshaft phaser is stuck in one position or will not move.
So, poo!
Back to the dealership she went along with my hopes and dreams of ending the month and half long car search we’ve been on for a 19 year old’s first car.
In my day unscrupulous car dealers used to roll back the odometer. These days that’s too difficult, so they just switch off the check engine light instead.
Grrr.
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We hadn’t seen much of mother red squirrel lately, which after the last pregnant photo I took of her.. was a very good thing.
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But she showed up yesterday…
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Looking kind of rough. Motherhood must be taking its toll this time around.
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Now if only I could coordinate her visits with this new addition to the backyard wildlife sightings….
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He could solve all our squirrel problems in one fell swoop.
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My husband’s niece just started college and is in desperate (or so she’ll have you believe) need of a vehicle. Being the cool aunt and uncle we offered to help, physically and financially.
So began the weekend from Hell.
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Said niece doesn’t want just any old car, no.
She wants an SUV.
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Have you ever priced decent used SUV’s during a global pandemic? I’m not exaggerating when I say our minds were blown.
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My idea of buying a 19 year old girl her first car does not include taking a mortgage on our house.
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The used car market in Maine is insane right now. They’re all selling for more than they’re worth and every vehicle we test drove had major issues the sellers weren’t interested in fixing.
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If we did see one we might consider buying?
It was gone 5 hours later.
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We spent 2 full days, visited countless dealers, scheduled numerous private seller appointments and logged over 600 miles.
The result? One possible we’re going to bring to our trusted mechanic for a thorough going over. It’s $2,000 more than we wanted to spend, but right now it’s literally the only option.
Is it any wonder that after bringing our niece back to school we ended the weekend at our local pub?
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Yes, those were all my dead and near dead soldiers. A tarantula margarita, a Moscow mule and two seasonal beers later? My mood had vastly improved.
Don’t judge. Car shopping is exhausting.
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River's world..... 