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Woodstock revisited.

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I posted about the 50th anniversary Woodstock concert the other day…

Peace, love…. and no thanks.

How my husband went to the original, and left.

How I was toddling around the backyard waiting to grow up and deride him mercilessly for it.

This Woodstock anniversary concert will never capture the spirit of the first.

It can’t.

Those days are gone, and so are the hippies.

To be honest, there isn’t much peace and brotherhood left either.

So if you experienced the original or like me, just wished you’d been old enough to….

Here’s an article I found that sums it up pretty well:

 

 

33 Pictures That Show How Insanely Cool The Original Woodstock Was

Woodstock ’94 was fine, whatever.

 

No offense but it wasn't memorable. My brother said Green Day performed there or something.

 

No offense but it wasn’t memorable. My brother said Green Day performed there or something.

Woodstock ’99 was a gross shit-show disaster.

 

 At the time, MTV said, and I quote:

“The air smelled of burning garbage, as well as urine and feces.”

 

 

And with news that Woodstock is coming back for the 50th anniversary this year,

 

 

woodstock

I thought it was fitting to revisit the original Woodstock.

 

1. The first Woodstock took place over 3 days in August 1969.

 

 

2. 50,000 people were expected…but nearly 1 million showed up.

 

3. People were sleeping in cemeteries.

 

4. But, somehow, SOMEHOW, it didn’t devolve into a Fyre Fest shit storm.

 

I mean, to be honest, there was 1 toilet per 833 people. Also, two people died. One got ran over by a tractor, the other was a drug overdose, sooo yeah.

 

I mean, to be honest, there was 1 toilet per 833 people. Also, two people died. One got ran over by a tractor, the other was a drug overdose, sooo yeah.

5. Everyone was naked, and also pretty hot.

 

6. Naked…and hot.

 

7. There were hippies on poles.

 

8. Hippies on cars.

 

9. Hippies making hot dogs.

 

 

10. Hippies strung out under umbrellas.

 

11. Hippies sleeping on cars.

 

12. Hippies feeding babies watermelon.

 

13. Hippies cleaning up trash.

 

14. Just so many hippies.

 

15. Everyone looked like they worked at Urban Outfitters.

 

16. *Glares at you while you shop*

 

17. Everyone looked like what the people who go to Coachella aspire to look like…

 

 

18. …except these people didn’t go for new content for their Instagrams.

 

19. Vanessa Hudgens wishes

20. Shia LaBeouf could only hope.

 

21. There were weed stands.

 

22. There were dirty toe rings.

 

23. Cool hats.

 

24. Jeans for $5.

 

25. Have I mentioned all the hot naked people?

 

 

26. Volunteers were making food for everyone.

 

 

 

27. This man put a chair on his head.

 

 

28. She got stuck in mud.

 

 

29. In an impressive display of teamwork and grace, these people balanced cardboard on their heads.

 

30. A woman that literally could be from 2019.

 

31. Basically, this might be the only time in history a music festival was cool.

 

32. The one, the only, the legendary: Woodstock ’69.

 

 

 

33. Instagram ruins everything.

 

The End.
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Because I’m that kind of wife.

30 Comments

 

My husband recently had a birthday.

 

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Yes.

I’m that kind of wife as well, but I digress.

Along with some very nice, serious gifts…

I ordered him something from Amazon.

 

IMG_4189

 

The box it came in was rather disappointing.

But nothing could dampen the sheer joy I felt at giving him….

A rock.

 

oh-no-you-didnt-28

 

 

Yes, Cindy.

I did.

I bought him a rock…

 

IMG_4188

 

A rock!

Or rather, a solid metal rock replica.

 

IMG_4190

 

Because after our recent vacation in Arizona, and all the amazing rocks we saw out there… ( did I tell you about that? I seem to remember some subtle mentioning of rocks) …. I had to present my beloved with his very own rock (replica).

And may I just say?

Bravo Amazon.

 

amazon1

 

 

I don’t know what kind of algorithm you’re running, but as I was searching the mystery/thriller book section?

You recommended a rock.

Talk about knowing your audience.

 

imagesBC3H6ZIR

 

And so am I.

I never knew Jeff Bezos had time to read my blog.

 

 

 

 

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Let’s talk chicken…

24 Comments

 

As promised.

 

IMG_E4092

 

Yes, we’re really doing this.

 

IMG_4193

 

Chapter 1.

 

IMG_4176

 

Having had many one sided chicken conversations, I was looking forward to this.

 

IMG_4177

 

Chicken cheerleaders…

Who knew?

 

history-of-the-puppy-superbowl-04

 

Apparently Animal Planet, who features them in the annual Puppy Bowl.

Though they do need to work on their pom pom skills a bit.

 

IMG_4178

 

And here I thought the only variety of peeps worth noting came at Easter.

 

l-798

 

Tidbitting?

 

IMG_4179

 

I love learning new words.

 

IMG_4180

 

While I’ve had various roosters chase me over the years, I never once thought to challenge them to a dance off.

 

 

But clearly,  they’ve got moves.

 

IMG_4181

 

So it’s official… my spirit animal is a chicken.

I love to sunbathe as well.

 

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*Note to self – do not Google sunbathing chicken or you will find one on the menu of a restaurant in Japan, complete with dipping sauce and white bread beach chair.*

 

IMG_4182

 

This is educational stuff!

So the next time you hear a chicken say Buh-dup?

I expect you to politely return the greeting…. with a silent prayer of thanks to me for the translation.

 

31-you-talking-to-me-chicken-with-an-attitude

 

Why yes.

Yes, I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I broke the unbreakable. And snow.

39 Comments

 

I can break anything.

Really. It’s one of my lesser known talents.

You know those cheap Corelle bowls?

The ones you can’t kill?

 

IMG_E4160

 

Well…

 

IMG_4159

 

I didn’t even have to put it on the stovetop or broiler.

Yay me.

In other news, it snowed.

Again.

To which people in Maine replied….

 

IMG_4170

 

A simple reminder that we’ve had enough frigid blasts of white stuff followed by 52 degree days and melting.

Of course, the melting does allow us to participate in the annual derby.

 

IMG_E4144

 

The pothole fishing derby.

Loads of fun for the entire family….

But not your car.

 

pothole_memes_3

 

 

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When the universe tries to tell you something….

24 Comments

 

Have you ever had one of those days when all the signs were pointing somewhere?

 

Somehow-I-doubt-that-funny-signs

 

Hopefully it’s not there.

I had one of those days last week.

It started when I checked the weather forecast.

 

IMG_E4152

 

Fair enough.

We were out of beer.

 

Mmmm-Beer

 

And on my way to the grocery store?

 

IMG_E4145

 

Okay, I get it.

Corporate America wants in on everything lately.

 

a9cacf6605675bc85c3e60dff2733574

 

But then..

The car that pulled in next to me at the store?

 

IMG_E4124

 

And while not all signs are clear…

 

dfd16457ac6213ae2946207960c67cf4

 

 

I’m guessing the universe did not wish me to remain sober that day.

And one should never argue with the universe.

 

 

IMG_E4223

 

Or my husband, who brought home an interesting wine that night.

What’s a girl to do?

 

 

 

 

 

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Is this a thing?

37 Comments

 

Every once in a while I go shopping, see something…

And say whaaaaat?

Like this strange product I spotted at T.J.Maxx.

 

IMG_E4168

 

Ear candles.

Do they set the mood for the intimate dinner parties I hold inside my head?

Or is it a new way to light someone’s cigarette?

WTH?

 

IMG_E4167

 

Naturally relaxing?

Which part?

When the hot wax drips onto my face and burns away my eyebrows…

Or when the flame catches my hairspray on fire and I spontaneously combust?

I posted this ridiculous product on my FB page and immediately had 2 friends commented that they’d tried it.

(Note to self – re-examine criteria for picking friends)

One said she had it done at a spa. (Pay money for someone to light a candle and stick it in my ear? Not happening.)

The other said it has health benefits and it removed his ear wax. ( I researched this and there is no medical evidence to support the claim)

(It should also be noted this guy smokes a little weed)

(Okay, a lot of weed.)

This is how it supposedly works.

 

do-ear-candles-work-for-clogged-ears-do-ear-candles-work-for-clogged-ears-ideas-a-minutes

 

“… patient might hear sizzling noise” ?

Yeah.

That’s either the sound of your brain frying….. or P.T. Barnum’s ghost dancing a jig in your ear canal.

I’m all for alternate remedies that don’t line the pocket of big pharma, but sorry.

The only way a flame is getting that near my face is if someone lights my Sambuca.

 

`1234

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Peace, love…. and no thanks.

51 Comments

 

It’s been a long running joke in our marriage that my husband went to Woodstock ….

(Yes, the original. And yes, he’s that old)

Took a look around, and left.

 

 

Left!

Left the greatest live musical event in history!

 

 

 

I know, that was my reaction too.

The joke is,  had I known this disturbing piece of information before we got married… it would have been a deal breaker.

In August of 1969, when the counter culture was doing this?

 

gettyimages-85477798

 

And listening to this?

 

00_Crosby-Stills-Nash-and-Young-at-Woodstock-1969

 

I was…

 

baby pics_0003 (2)

 

Yeah. Walking the dog with some sassy red kicks.

Needless to say, I was too young to attend.

So years later, when I heard my beloved other half say Woodstock  “wasn’t his scene”, and that he had hitch hiked to New York that August, joined the throngs of hippies walking to the concert, “saw a bunch of half naked people dancing and smoking dope” and decided to leave?

 

 

A little piece of me died.

I would have killed to be there. Rain, mud et al.

In my  hippie days of the late 70’s, the closest I got was following the Dead around New England… or going to the Claremont Music Festival in New Hampshire. We camped out, we smoked weed, it rained… but it still wasn’t Woodstock.

And now, in August 2019 on the 50th anniversary? There’s another Woodstock brewing.

I was thrilled!

The husband even agreed to go!

 

l-9921-yaying-mantises

 

(Probably just to shut me up about the first one, but who cares!)

And then I saw the list of performers.

 

woodstock

 

And while a few of the original artists will be there…. Santana, Fogerty from CCR, Country Joe McDonald and David Crosby  (no, I’m not counting Dead and Company with John Mayer. Please! Without Jerry, they’re not the Dead)…. scanning the list made me want to cry.

Soccer Mommy? Pussy Riot? Amigo the Devil?

Damn. I must be old, because I don’t know half of these groups. And while I love the Black Keys, Dawes, The Lumineers, and a handful of others? My need for more classic rock, folk or blues from back in the day makes me think to hell with it. You can’t go home again.

And apparently you can’t go back to Max Yasgur’s farm either because the event is being held 150 miles away in Watkins Glen.

At the race track.

With a limited amount of tickets because they’re worried about traffic jams.

Traffic jams?

Good god.

There’s even an app.

 

3b072448461617_58bdadec366e4

 

Peace, love and music?

I doubt it. The Millennials have taken over and it will probably be merchandised to within an inch of it’s life and have more to do with profit than peace and brotherhood.

Sigh…

Sorry husband. It looks like you’re still going to have to take my crap about leaving the first one.

And rightfully so.

 

 

 

 

 

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I drink and I know things.

39 Comments

 

I do.

And I have the shirt to prove it.

 

GUEST_093223f4-e3c8-4e44-a847-a9c0c2030952

 

People often say I’m a font of useless knowledge…

(Okay it’s just my husband who says that, and it’s usually to keep me from talking during  John Wayne movies)  But I do rock at Trivial Pursuit and no one will play with me anymore. So that means I’m going to have to share the ridiculous tidbits that fill my head my fun facts here.

With you.

On a regular basis.

Shall we begin?

 

 

That’s the spirit.

#1.  The first toilet ever seen on television was on Leave It To Beaver.

 

21om2p

 

Why do I know this?

I don’t know…  I just do.

Another?

#2.  Dr. Seuss pronounced his name so it rhymed with rejoice.

 

h19ADADC8

 

Dr. Soice? Say it isn’t so!

But it is.

You’re welcome.

#3.  A leech has 32 brains.

 

1hxgg1

 

32 brains?

That seems like serious overkill, seeing that most government officials can’t find their first.

#4.  The world’s widest road is the Monumental Axis in Brazil where 160 cars can drive side by side.

Yeah.

And you know that guy in the far left lane is still going to try and take that right hand exit 100 feet before the ramp.

 

1l0xnz

 

#5.  Three Mile Island is only 2.5 miles long.

Clearly a man named it, as they all measure 6 inches incorrectly.

 

hB59D04F2

 

I think this goes without saying.

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I’m related to a snowball.

40 Comments

 

This probably doesn’t surprise most of you..

 

snowball-of-cuteness-W630

 

But perhaps I should explain.

A few years ago my girlfriend infected me with the genealogy bug, and let me tell you…. once you catch it? There is no cure.

Before I knew it I was wandering dusty old libraries and searching moth eaten town halls.

 

archives-are-closed-today

 

Yes, I’ve even stalked a few cemetery custodians.

They’re a font of valuable information.

 

162pl7

 

It’s fair to say I was obsessed for a while and spent hours, days, weeks, months way too much time climbing the old family tree.

Some lines are frustrating and dead end right away.

Other lines like my paternal grandmother’s, I traced back to the year 1134. It helps when you have someone famous… most of the work has been done for you.

One of my semi famous relatives?

 

Jabez B. Snowball

 

The Hon. Jabez B. Snowball.

Yes, dear old 2nd great Uncle Jabez.

Wikipedia page

Lumber baron and Lt. Governor of New Brunswick, Canada.

I actually found this among my father’s papers…

 

Jabez Bunting Snowball0001

 

Although I have no earthly idea who wrote it.

Genealogy is fun.

And fascinating.

And rewarding.

As well as incredibly frustrating.

 

asdfg

 

It’s also surprising.

Like when I started on my mother’s side of Austrian relatives…

And found Franz.

 

kovacs_franz_4__large

 

Damn. That’s disturbing…

Good thing he was only the father in law of my 1rst cousin twice removed.

Genealogy.

Ya never know who will fall out when you shake the family tree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Let’s talk about Spam….

25 Comments

 

images

 

I have to admit, WordPress’s spam catcher is pretty effective.

Although, come on….

 

jhgyeuwi

 

They could have let that through.

So it never ceases to amaze me how many people and companies keep trying. I mean, yes… practice makes perfect.  And kudos to them for their tenacity, but today I had 33 spam messages trapped.

33.

6 of them from the pretty guinea pig.

Buy Amoxil 500mg Amoxicillin http://theprettyguineapig.com/amoxicillin/

Who clearly thinks I need an antibiotic.

 

987456512321

 

Damn…

That’s a disturbing thought.

Then there’s this cryptic example.

Research – good research is significant to buying
a reliable dress. With the drive comes the need of creation. It is unachievable
to “make” others happy, in but the. That is, as long as you follow that will. http://pro-social.ru/bitrix/redirect.php?event1=&event2=&event3=&goto=http://aidanharris.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php%3Fd=cuci.today

 

While I agree buying the right dress may require a little extra effort…

 

wedding-dress-from-60-amp-039-s_o_3055653

 

They lost me with  “It is unachievable
to “make” others happy, in but the. That is, as long as you follow that will.”

Maybe making others happy in the but is achievable.

Don’t scoff, everyone needs a life goal.

I was a little disappointed to see this flagged as Spam –

 

Frank
Frank

20 hours ago·

tunklitankli.com
Spam
Arizona sightseeing ….

Your site has exceptional content. I bookmarked the site

 

Because hey –

 

98765

 

 

This one surprised me –

taylor swift 22 live billboard
taylor swift 22 live billboard
a day ago·
17884376_1305743269480415_8723118616038350294_n

It is often a fast-paced, high-risk trading option that potentially
gives substantial returns. This mentality will
absolutely move you killed.

 

Taylor Swift wants to kill me if I move?

 

70c5ff99fc5baf90890630bdf6ccd68a

 

Yeah, well… bite me Taylor.

You can’t keep a boyfriend and I’ve been married 35 years. Hope your Grammys keep you warm at night.

Then there are the never ending, non stop online casino ads.

These spammers are dedicated. Once they find you? They don’t let go…. but that’s okay. Because yes, they do make me laugh.

live blackjack game

6 days ago·

http://www.goslingshot.com/__media_
17884376_1305743269480415_8723118616038350294_n

Texas hold em poker has slip on huge around turmoil.

 

Texas has huge slip ons?

 

 

920x920

 

That’s just wrong.

 

“…this is nonetheless not preferable to gamble by having an above exhausted head.”

Agreed.

I hate having an above exhausted head.

 

exhausted-cat-memes-6

 

..”When asked for advice, the nice I could offer was for him to continue
playing Gin using wife.”

I’m no marriage expert, but the only type of gin I want my husband to be playing with is this:

 

hACEDEBBA

 

 

And finally…

…“Did the enemy team get Baron due to the fact nobody on the own group warded this?
Did an enemy stroll into five of yourself and pass on? Every tiny mistake needs for famous to create certain you can study.
To fail to Do that a lot of.”

Yes, the enemy team got Baron Trump, because really… who wants to deal with that dad on the sidelines?

I don’t remember the enemy strolling in and passing on. Let me ask my 4 other personalities and get back to you.

But…. help me out here. What does every tiny mistake need?

Even I can’t unpack that one.