And used to see the appeal of texting miniature versions of myself to friends…
I read something this afternoon that made me do a double take.
Yes.
There is now a Bitmoji Bible.
“In the year of our Lord 2019, someone recreated the Bible through Bitmoji. The Bitmoji Bible is more of a collection of a handful of stories found in Jewish and Christian holy scriptures than an actual translation told exclusively through Bitmoji. While much of the actually philosophical passages aren’t included — how are you supposed to discuss promises of salvation through a few cartoon characters? — you might recognize more well known myths, like the story of David and Goliath. “
Now I’m not a religious woman, and I admit to never having read the good book cover to cover…. but I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess David never said “Hey Boo” to the giant Philistine.
And if there was a Garden of Eden?
I somehow doubt their trees were in pots.
“Today’s children are more likely to read a text message than a book,” co-creator Daniel Eckler said through Twitter DM. “Given the Bible has been translated into more than 3000 languages, I thought it should be translated into one of the most popular contemporary languages.”
Jesus wept.
Repeat after me…
Bitmoji is not a contempary language, it’s a collection of bad cartoons.
Quoting an excerpt from Genesis about the whole world speaking the same language, Eckler believes it’s “important to speak to people in their language.”
So help me out here…Is that Joseph?And is he spitting his coffee out because Mary just told him about the immaculate conception?
He notes that his goal isn’t necessarily to evangelize, but rather to open the door to higher thinking for people who may not already be interested in it — he references biblical redemption themes in Star Wars and The Matrix. “Not to say they’re substitutes, but as long as people are seeking spiritual truths,” Eckler said. “I think they’ll find them where they find them.”Let me get this straight…. to understand Christianity I don’t have to read the bible.I just have to sit through The Empire Strikes Back?Well if that’s the case…
I’m watching Game of Thrones instead.
It has mythical beasts, devout believers and frowned upon sex as well.
A few weeks ago I got an email from Instagram asking me to confirm the address on my account.
That was interesting…. because I don’t actually have an Instagram account.
Five minutes later I got an email saying my username of rivergirl1211 had been changed.
Changed…
To Blankyhell.
Yes…
Blankyhell.
If that’s a place, I suppose it looks something like this:
Which is how I feel during a hot flash in bed.
On the other hand, maybe they were thinking more along the lines of:
Either way, it’s a pretty strange name.
So I went into the account, changed the username back, changed the password and then deleted the whole bogus thing.
I only use rivergirl1211 when I blog, so more than likely someone on here set it up.
Why would someone want to be me?
I have no clue.
Hell, half the time…. I don’t even want to be me.
It’s a little creepy being hacked, even if it’s only to Instagram.
Funny part is, the account already had a bunch of followers. And since the only posted photo was a plain black square….. I can’t say I see the attraction.
Maybe I should have left it active and followed my feed.
Since the little darlings have been raiding my bird feeders of late, I thought I’d put out more deer feed and a few chopped apples for them as a treat.
Apparently this went over quite well.
So well…
They called in the cavalry.
Note to self –
Buy more feed.
This is better than cable.
Well, almost.
Yes.
There really is a Game of Thrones meme for every subject.
(Disclaimer- this post was scheduled incorrectly and is appearing 2 weeks later than planned, hence the brown lawn. )
It’s an age old question and I thought why not enlist a few famous people to help us with the answer.
So why did the chicken cross the road?
OPRAH says: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
Fair enough.
Let’s hope it’s a Mercedes, because they had the best car commercial… ever!
Watch it. I dare you not to smile…
SARAH PALIN says: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!
DR SEUSS says: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
True, but a little morbid.
BILL CLINTON says: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
Okay, okay. We get it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY says: To die in the rain, alone.
Well, damn.
That’s depressing.
DONALD TRUMP says: We should build a wall so the chicken can’t cross the road.
Nice hair.
AL GORE says: I invented the chicken…. and the road.
Yeah…
Thanks for that.
ALBERT EINSTEIN says: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
And finally –
ARISTOTLE says: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
So there you have it.
And because I don’t want to break the trend of inserting a GOT reference into every single one of my posts till the final season is over….
And almost everyone dreams of winning the lottery to get out of it.
(There’s no logical reason for this photo. I just Googled debt meme and came up with it.
A squirrel… in full armor.
You’re welcome.)
So we worked hard, and became debt free.
We cut up all the credit cards, and paid them off. We paid off the cars, motorcycles and other assorted big boy toys.
Three months ago? We paid off our mortgage.
We’re now totally debt free.
Yay us!
Except no. Life doesn’t work that way.
For years we had nearly perfect credit scores.
(Perfect is 840, ours was 837.)
Until we started paying off debt, at which point they dropped like a stone.
Cut up and pay off your credit cards? Lose 34 points.
Which is wrong. So very, very wrong.
In every conceivable way.
The last time I checked?
It went down 44 points because we no longer have a mortgage.
What the f*ckity f*ck f*ck?
Everything we own is paid for, we have more liquid cash than we’ve ever had before, our pension and retirement plans are set and we can live comfortably without fear.
Her price tags ($35 for a bar of soap? For that price, I want someone to wash me with it. Preferably Bradley Cooper or Johnny Depp) which is why I buy the itty bitty sampler bottles.
$155 on the site, slightly less on Amazon… if you can find them.
No one around here sells Jo Malone and I’m not buying a full bottle until I test it.
But they rock!
Trust me on this…
(See how I snuck a Game of Thrones reference in there?)
I like –
The sound of this drink for summer.
I don’tlike –
The idea of walking around with a blue tongue all night.
(Or day, who are we kidding?)
Ilike –
The tee shirt I found the other day.
I don’tlike –
The fact that there are only 4 more episodes of Thrones left.
In case you didn’t notice, Sunday night ushered in episode 1 of the final season of the epic HBO series Game of Thrones.
I’m a huge fan girl and had been looking forward to it for a long time.
I was wearing my shirt…
Twitching in anticipation…
And expecting the usual – I don’t like GOT even though I’ve never actually watched GOT – look from my husband.
It goes something like this….
But this was the final season!
I was excited, I was nervous, I was sad….
But I was also speechless, because at 9:00 Sunday morning my husband…. the husband who for 8 years had refused to even entertain the idea of watching GOT… asked to watch GOT.
From the beginning.
I was shocked.
And quickly hit the DVR before he changed his mind.
So we watched GOT.
For 15 hours!!
All of season 1 and most of season 2.
He loved it…. and was absolutely hooked.
It took all the restraint I could muster not to wear a smug satisfied grin.
And no, I didn’t even say that.
Although it damn near killed me not to.
Monday morning brought Patriots Day (a New England recognized holiday) and my husband…. asking for more GOT.
10:00 in the morning till 11:30 at night.
Season 2 and most of 3.
Epic!
He’s never binge watched a series in his entire life, but at the rate he’s going he’ll be able to watch the final season with me in real time.
That’s the good news.
The bad news?
When I asked him halfway through season 1 who his favorite character was and he said Ned Stark.
Oops.
Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 