Tag Archives: health

This is why I dislike going to the doctors..

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After feeling like utter crap for a week, my husband drug my sorry self to our health care providers office yesterday. Naturally my primary physician was unavailable, but they had one appointment open. With a new doctor who just started there.

Basically, he’d just started anywhere. He was a newbie, probably under 30 years old and freshly graduated from Dartmouth College. He was very nice, very polite and very thorough. With the symptoms he wanted to address.

As I said yesterday I’ve been experiencing a bit of dizziness but my main complaint has been constant stomach discomfort, nausea and crippling fatigue.

Though I told him the most I’d eaten at one time in the last week was half a piece of toast, he zeroed in on the dizziness and gave me a seriously bizarre neurological examination.

He put his hands on my cheeks and told me to press my tongue against them.

He had he me extend one palm upward and flap the other hand back and forth against it as fast as I could.

I told him I’d had bouts of vertigo on and off my entire life, but that wasn’t why I was there.

Didn’t matter, he was off to the races and had me do balance tests, positional transition tests and a bunch of other nonsense that triggered my vertigo and made me feel worse.

Diagnosis?

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo.

(The simple explanation-

BPPV happens because there’s a problem deep inside your ear where your balance is controlled. Tiny calcium particles in your inner ear get loose and float around where they don’t belong. This causes symptoms. 

The particles shift around when you move your head in certain ways, such as rolling over in bed or bending over to pick something up.)

He seemed pleased, and set me up with referrals to a therapist who apparently has exercises and manipulations to restore the loose rocks in my head.

Great.

And what about my other issues?

As he was shuffling me out the door, I had to beg him to do blood tests to see if any of my vitamin levels were off or I if had anemia because this fatigue is insane. He was completely uninterested in my stomach issues and suggested I might have picked up a virus somewhere. Basically, he poo pooed my weeklong discomfort as unimportant and told me to eat bland foods for two weeks.

So I’m home. Not feeling one bit better and without any more idea of what’s going on than before.

Ugh.

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It has not been a fun week.

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I’m a ridiculously healthy person.

I still have my appendix, my tonsils, my wisdom teeth and my gall bladder.

I’ve never broken a bone, had the measles or mumps or even a cavity.

I’ve had one surgery in my entire life.

I’m 61 and take one small dose medication for high blood pressure. My body is far from a temple, but it’s served me well over the years. And when I do feel poorly? I don’t run crying to the doctor, I usually just gut it out at home .

Until today.

A week ago I was out weeding a few garden beds. No big deal, I do it all the time. But after two hours I was so frickin’ tired I had to stop. I came inside, showered, went to bed…..and stayed there for 3 days. I was dizzy, nauseated, had a headache, stomach pains… I barely ate or drank, had vertigo whenever I got up. On the 4th day I felt fractionally better, but not good. My head was foggy, I was queasy, and the fatigue was crippling. Today… day 6… my husband (who is the worst nurse in the world ) said enough is enough and made me a doctor’s appointment.

And I still feel so awful I’m not arguing.

Wish me luck.

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News you can’t use.

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Because I excel at useless.

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Mount Erebus in Antarctica. We have a friend who was stationed there in the Navy. Better bring a coat.

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You mean Pink Floyd lied to us all this time….

🥺

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I have to admit even I’d never heard of this one.

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Maybe that 38 year old should hook up with the mid 20’s woman. No memory, no foul.

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Worst.

Tattoos.

Ever…..

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This is disturbing in so many ways.

There’s nothing in the world I’d rather do than have one more conversation with my late father. But a creepy AI version? No thank you.

Or as Robin so succinctly put it…

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👍

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News you can’t use.

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Here’s to useless news. Providing me with so much blog fodder I could post one of these every single day and still have useless news leftover.

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Oh good.

Something to look forward to.

🥴

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A robot hurling paint balls.

That will keep those kids off your lawn.

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Teargas pellets?

Yikes.

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I don’t know… but I think my male readers should take one for the team, start drinking soy milk and report back when they have to buy a bra.

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Gene Roddenberry would be thrilled.

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I might have just gone with a hamster, but okay.

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My body has developed a sense of humor, but I’m not laughing.

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Me and my body used to be pals. It performed well, was always there when I needed it and rarely let me down. I’ve never had a cavity. Or a broken bone. Or a migraine. Or heartburn. I still have my wisdom teeth, my tonsils and my appendix. My body was a well oiled machine and had never been in the hospital until I had a full abdominal hysterectomy in 2015 which threw me into menopause before I was ready.

My body was not pleased.

And the bitch has been seeking revenge ever since.

Weight gain. Fatigue. Night sweats. Joint pain. Insomnia. Hot flashes. Brain fog.

Yes, it’s safe to say I don’t even recognize this creaking, flabby husk in which I now reside.

I have a bum knee that won’t heal. A recurring pinched nerve in my neck which flares up as I sleep. Yes, even going to bed is dangerous now.

I have bunions which painfully distort my toes. When I’m staying home? I get to wear sexy accessories like this:

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Which because it’s black Velcro attracts Lord Dudley’s cat hair. Such a good look.

Not.

And every once in a while… just because it’s bored? My body does something weird that has me saying WTF!

As it did yesterday morning when I woke up looking like this:

*Warning- photos of me without hair and makeup to follow.

Proceed at your own risk.*

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What the… what?

Half of my face was red, swollen and my eyes were puffy.

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The lids were so enlarged it was hard to keep them open.

And I had absolutely no clue why. Nothing bit me. I didn’t brush against anything poisonous. It didn’t hurt or itch… it was just there when I woke up.

I iced it.

I took Benadryl.

And 10 hours later?

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I was still red and puffy and looked like someone punched me.

Knock it off body.

You’re not the least bit funny.

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Cosmopolitan Hell

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Apologies to my male readers, but it’s that time again. Time to question why anyone in their right mind reads this magazine.

This months issue of the gift that keeps on giving (whether I want it to or not) includes a discussion on bathing suit thongs.

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Please feel free to weigh in.

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Sphincter dental floss. Not likely to erase that mental image for the rest of the day are you?

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Eww. While I’m technically not against the trend…. I never thought of that!

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Less wedgie potentially? It’s specifically designed to be a wedgie. Your argument is invalid.

This next article made even me look twice.

Last chance guys…. if you don’t leave now I won’t be held responsible.

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I did warn you.

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If it’s that common, how did I not know this!

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Holy crap!

I can’t even imagine….

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Eureka!

Yes, I’ve done it.

I’ve found the perfect work out routine for my inner couch potato. And if,  like me….. your idea of strenuous exercise is slicing another lime for your margarita rim?

Rejoice! And read on.

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Can 4 Seconds of Exercise Make a Difference?

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Four seconds of intense intervals, repeated until they amount to a minute of total exertion, led to rapid improvements in strength and fitness in middle-aged and older adults.

 
 
 

In what is probably the definitive word on how little exercise we can get away with, a new study finds that a mere four seconds of intense intervals, repeated until they amount to about a minute of total exertion, lead to rapid and meaningful improvements in strength, fitness and general physical performance among middle-aged and older adults.

I have often written about the potential benefits of brief, high-intensity interval training, or H.I.I.T., an approach to exercise that consists of quick spurts of draining physical effort, followed by rest, with the sequence repeated multiple times. In studies, short H.I.I.T. workouts typically produce health gains that are equal to or more pronounced than much longer, gentler workouts.

But the ideal length of the intervals in these workouts has been unsettled. Researchers studying H.I.I.T. agree that the optimal interval span should stress our muscles and other bodily systems enough to jump-start potent physiological changes but not so much that we groan, give up and decline to try that workout ever again. In practice, those dueling goals have led H.I.I.T. scientists to study intervals ranging from a protracted four minutes to a quickie 20 seconds.

But Ed Coyle, an exercise physiologist at the University of Texas in Austin, and his graduate assistant Jakob Allen suspected that even 20-second spurts, performed intensely, might exceed some exercisers’ tolerance. So, he decided to start looking for the shortest possible interval that was still effective.

And in the new study, which was published this week in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, he and his colleagues settled on a blink-swift four seconds.

To test that idea, the researchers turned initially to eight healthy college students, asking them to sprint on the bikes for four seconds periodically throughout the day, to see if these short, strenuous workouts would counteract some of the undesirable metabolic effects of sitting all day and eating poorly. They did, as I wrote about in April.

But that study focused on robust, young adults and repeated, if diminutive, workouts sprinkled throughout the day. The scientists now wondered if a more practical, single session of four-second sprints would be enough exercise to improve health and fitness in out-of-shape adults well past their college years.

So, they recruited 39 of them, men and women aged 50 to 68 who were sedentary but had no other major health concerns. They tested the volunteers’ current aerobic fitness, muscular power and mass, arterial flexibility, and ability to perform what are called “activities of daily living,” such as getting up out of a chair.

The volunteers began visiting the performance lab three times a week. There, they completed a brief workout of repeated four-second intervals on the lab’s specialized bikes. At first, they sprinted for four seconds, with Dr. Allen calling out a second-by-second countdown, followed by 56 seconds of rest, repeating that sequence 15 times, for a total of 60 seconds of intervals.

Over two months, though, the riders’ rest periods declined to 26 seconds and they increased their total number of sprints to 30 per session.

At the end of eight weeks, the scientists retested everyone and found substantial differences. On average, riders had increased their fitness by about 10 percent, gained considerable muscle mass and strength in their legs, reduced the stiffness of their arteries and outperformed their previous selves in activities of daily living, all from about three to six minutes a week of actual exercise.

A majority of the volunteers also told the researchers during follow-up interviews that they enjoyed the workouts and would continue them, if possible, Dr. Coyle said.

The upshot, he said, is that these intervals, despite being as brief as possible, effectively boosted health and fitness in ordinary adults.

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Four seconds?

I think even I might be able to handle that.

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You know I have to share these things.

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I do. Even though I’m sure you’d rather I didn’t.

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Yes, this exists. Though I think they’re wrong about the Olympic event.

And if you’re thinking…. that’s great River, but I don’t really care for cereal?

I’ve got your back.

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Pooping Champion Gummies.

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And tea.

You’re welcome.

But if that’s not enough to get you excited about this oh so helpful product? Visit their website and check out the fabulous club you can join.

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Now tell me you don’t want to be a card carrying member of that!

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Cosmo-what?

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#2 in the series of ‘I’m definitely not young and single anymore’. Otherwise known as Cosmopolitan magazine highlights.

Or lowlights, you decide.

Gentlemen?

You’ve been warned.

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First up, a strawberry vagina.

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Magical?

Yeah, I must be doing something wrong. And because there are probably other women like me?

Products.

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Am I surprised they are named Honey Pot and Fur?

At this point, I am not.

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This explains a lot about the current generation. I enjoyed moving out of my parents house, but maybe that was just me.

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What brownie abomination is this?

No. Just…. no.

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Wow. And I thought breaking up via text was bad….

Finally there was this:

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Strategically placed mirror aside…. FaceTiming your gynecologist? I’m beginning to relish the fact I’m not in my twenties anymore.

P.S. … don’t be surprised when that cat starts having nightmares.

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