Today we can finally say the barn construction is complete. After breaking ground (not to mention our backs) in April 2012, the last pieces were just put into place.
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Said pieces being soffit under the eaves. For years they had been open…
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But now they’re boxed in, vented and painted.
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And also impossible to photograph without massive sun reflections.
If I had my druthers, I’d finish off the porch ceiling as well….
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But for some reason the husband draws the line there.
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I think it’s because people compliment us on the new paint job… the one I wanted and he didn’t. It ticks him off everyone loves it and he has to take his revenge where he can.
The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896? Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
No?
I did, because….
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Did you know…. Each year, Americans spend more on cat food than baby food?
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Judging by the way Dudley devours his, I’m not at all surprised.
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Well, since you asked….
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The phrase ‘son of a gun’ derives from the days when women were allowed to live on naval ships. Their children were born behind a screen, often near the mid ship gun. If paternity was in doubt, the child was registered in the log as the “son of a gun’.
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Did you know…. Salvador Dali once arrived at an art exhibition in a limousine filled with turnips?
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Did you know…. Ostriches beat the heat by urinating on their legs? It evaporates like sweat.
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Proof positive there’s a YouTube video for everything. Even though sometimes you wish there wasn’t.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten has the full run of our house and sleeps on whatever bed, couch or chair strikes his fancy. But even in this personal Catopia there are limits and he is not allowed on the kitchen counters, tables or bedroom bureaus.
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You knew where this was going right?
While I’ve kicked him off our master bedroom bureaus enough times for him to get the message…
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Who, me?
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He seems to think the guest room is fair game.
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And happily parks his butt up there to look out the windows when he thinks I’m not looking.
If there’s a one in a million chance of getting a weird side effect from the Covid vaccine? You know it’s going to be me.
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This is my kind of luck.
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So I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine Friday morning. By Friday afternoon, my arm was sore and I had a slight headache…. which was no big deal and to be expected. I went to bed at 10:00 and called it good. Until I woke up Saturday morning with body aches, sluggish fatigue, a bigger headache and an odd tenderness under my left arm. I was pretty useless all day, went to bed at 7:00pm but couldn’t sleep for the pain. By Sunday morning? I had a rock hard grapefruit in my armpit.
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Darth Kermit is an asshole.
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I admit I was a little freaked out and immediately hit the computer for some medical research. Yes, it is a possible side effect… though it’s rare and only hits 0.3% of the public. It usually lasts a week to ten days, but can be sore for up to a month.
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Ironically, I had a routine doctors appointment scheduled for today and I just got back. They told me they hadn’t seen a patient present with it yet, but they did have a male nurse with a bad case. Of course he didn’t have to worry about wearing a tight bra, so my sympathy only went so far.
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The doctor told me our lymph nodes are part of our body’s immune response system and they swell when they’re fighting infection. So the fact that mine are inflamed is actually a positive reaction to the vaccine.
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Maybe so. But I’m here to tell you, it’s not a pleasant feeling.
After the husband decided on leather chairs for his man cave, the focus switched to a table to put in front of them. Having just spent two exhausting days in and out of a disturbingly high number of furniture stores, I was less than enthusiastic. And when I saw what kind of tables he was considering?
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(Tables should not have wheels!) I was even less enthusiastic.
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Thinking he’d taken leave of his senses, I cried Uncle and headed for the ladies room before our two and a half hour long drive home.
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And if there was ever a stranger place to decorate with rabbits? I don’t know where it would be. No one needs a fluffle of Thumpers looking over their shoulder in a bathroom stall. Talk about performance anxiety… geesh. ( And yes, a group of rabbits really is called a fluffle. Which, when you think about it… is totally spot on. )
On the way home we stopped at a restaurant we’ve always enjoyed but haven’t frequented since early 2020.
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Is the beer really better there? I don’t know, but they have an extensive list to be sure. They also pour some interesting martinis …..
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So naturally I indulged in two Prickly Pears. The drinks were fabulous…
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But tiny.. more like wide lipped shot glasses. And for $24? I’d like to take more than 4 sips.
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While the food looked wonderful, shrimp stir fry for me… Parmesan baked haddock for the husband… both were dry as a bone, overcooked and cool when they reached the table. French onion soup forgotten and delivered with the meal? That’s a big no no. By the time the husband started his fish, it was stone cold. A disappointing visit to a place we used to love.
I thought we’d decided on the leather chairs for the barn we’d seen the day before and were heading down to NH to purchase them, but I was wrong. For a man who claims to hate shopping, it amazed me how many different furniture stores my husband wanted to visit. Day 2? We spent 5 hours driving and 5 hours fruitlessly searching. Granted there were some truly horrible choices.
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White pleather power recliner with LED lighted cup holders?
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That’s a hard no.
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As were these fake snake skin monstrosities. We spent over an hour wandering around one store only to have my husband give up on chairs and focus on the handmade tables crafted entirely from reclaimed wine barrels on the way out.
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And yes, of course he bought one.
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This chair? Goldilocks deemed it too shiny.
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This chair? God help me, he said it was too “crunchy”. I was ready to throw in the towel and live with an empty man cave corner when… after 11 hours of plunking his posterior in at least 40 chairs over the course of 2 days…. he decided he wanted to go back to Jordans and buy the very first chair we saw.
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So that’s what we did. But the first salesman in Maine had neglected to tell us was the New Hampshire warehouse didn’t stock them and we’d have to wait a month or so for them to come in. Grrr. But order them we did, from the NH store (no tax!) and we received a 10% military discount. We also removed the delivery fee by agreeing to pick them up ourselves. Total savings? $630. Was it worth the aggravation? The jury’s still out on that one.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten has been a finicky eater. When it comes to canned food he won’t eat fish. He won’t eat anything grilled or in pieces. No meaty morsels, no shreds. Nothing with cheesy bites or creamy sauce. The little bugger won’t even eat tuna FFS. It took me a solid month of trying every brand under the sun… from cheap to ridiculously expensive…. to find one kind he liked.
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It’s the only brand and variety he’ll eat every single time. So you know what that means….. it’s now virtually impossible to find. In person or online, and believe me I’ve tried. Oh, I could buy it on eBay.
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Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently it’s still being made but there’s a disruption in the supply chain which is making it scarce…. so the price gougers are in full swing. Amazon?
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A little better, but still outrageous. Sorry Dudley… you may have to learn to like bologna.
The weather is getting warmer and that means the barn porch furniture needs to migrate from the man cave to its outdoor home.
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Which is going to leave a big hole in the room. Solution? Two manly leather club chairs and a table. Unfortunately this meant prolonged shopping excursions with the husband. And trust me… when it comes to picky, women have nothing on my other half. When we need new furniture, I usually do the scouting and narrow it down to 3 choices. Anything more than that overloads his senses. So imagine my unmitigated horror surprise when he suggested we make a day of it.
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Yes, that’s close.
Off we went down to Portland. First stop was Jordan’s furniture which is a truly massive multi level store. They had a nice selection of leather but nothing pleased the husband.
This was the first chair we saw and I thought it was perfect.
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The husband liked it, but wanted to keep looking.
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This chair? Too saggy.
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This chair? Too deep.
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This chair? Too small. Store after store after store and he didn’t like anything.
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Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a big purchase and I want him to be happy but after visiting 8 stores over the course of 6 hours, Goldilocks still wasn’t satisfied.
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The first chair had my vote and I lobbied hard. Nice grade of leather, perfect size, good color, and firm cushions. Husband wanted another look, so back to Jordan’s we went. He gave it a second test drive and agreed it was the best we’d found. I thought we were done and gave silent thanks to all the Gods I don’t believe in. Shiva, you rock!
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I positively swooned when the husband had a salesman print out an estimate thinking the ordeal was over…. but when my spouse found out their warehouse was in NH and there would be a $150 charge to deliver the chairs to Maine? He said we would drive to NH the following day. Five hours on the road, in his old 8 foot bed Ford pickup just to save $150. It will probably cost us that in gas.
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To be continued.
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 