.
Headline news is a little different in my small Maine town.
.
.
Record breaking pepper? Someone call CNN!
.
.
While I do have experience in caretaking bossy, moody diva cats and I seriously love me some chickens… fish? They’re just too needy.
.
.
Momma Mia! That is one huge wasp domicile.
And finally, I saved the best for last.
.
.
I’m crossing my fingers and toes this idea becomes a reality… and shall donate accordingly.
.
.
.
I bought this for the man cave bar, mainly because Amazon is evil and it’s entirely too easy to satisfy impulse shopping cravings.
.
.
It looked like a great idea, but in reality… was a royal pain in the patoot. The inner chamber would never seat properly and every time you painstakingly filled the outer, the water would leak through and pop the inner chamber up like a cork.
.
.
Solution? Weigh down the inner chamber with frozen fruit.
I refuse to be beaten.
.
.
The next time my husband refuses to listen me? That is what I’m going to show him.
.
.
Cheaters chicken and dumplings. Easy, creamy and quite tasty. What’s not to love?
.
.
In case anyone is interested.
.
.
I use a family size rotisserie chicken, low sodium broth and lite salt with half the sodium. It’s still savory.
.
.
For those of us who love our cats?
.
.
This is probably very close to the truth.
.
.
I was giving myself a pedicure the other day and Lord Dudley Mountcatten was fascinated.
.
.
He did not however like my tools.
.
.
When I got tired of picking it up off the floor? I quit.
.
.
The next time I get a boo boo? I totally want to cover it with a bacon bandage.
.
.
How hot has it been in Maine?
.
.
Hot enough that even the turkeys are seeking shade.
And speaking of hot….
.
.
Damn.
Now that’s hot.
.
.
Our second stroll with Lord Dudley Mountcatten happened yesterday….
.
.
And while attaching the harness was still as enjoyable as wrestling a moray eel….
.
.
His Highness didn’t seem quite so angry this time around.
.
.
Of course that didn’t mean he cooperated. Walking a cat is more challenging than you might think.
.
.
To be honest, there’s not a whole lotta walking going on.
.
.
But at least his Lordship got some fresh air.
.
.
I don’t usually pay attention to the Facebook memories section, but this one from an old blog friend popped up the other day and I had to laugh.
.
.
It really does.
🤣
.
.
That sounds simple and delicious.
If you try it before me? Let me know.
.
And for Brian at http://brianlageose.blog
Because we were chatting a while back about the ridiculous old station wagons we had to drive as teenagers. Here’s my husband and I posing in front of my parent’s ‘62 Ford Falcon.
Complete with wood on the side… because we stylin’.
.
.
If you look closely you’ll see the entire passenger side is crumpled from me side swiping a telephone pole when I was 16.
Oops.
This baby had a top speed of 51mph by the time I got her…. complete with vacuum wipers, a manual choke, and AM radio. I was the envy of exactly (count ‘em) none of my friends.
Please don’t judge the head to toe stone washed denim… it was the late 80’s. We had to.
.
Finally, here’s Lord Dudley…
.
.
In typical goober mode.
.
.
He should, but thank God he can’t.
.
.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten has discovered the back of the den couch.
.
.
And an event of this magnitude must be documented by taking numerous photographs.
.
.
From various angles and distance ranges.
.
.
Chill Dudley…. it’s the price you pay for living here.
But the real reason for this drivel filled post?
My succulent ….
.
.
Who is clearly trying to run away from home.
.
.
And after all I’ve done for him.
Very disappointing.
.
.
Do I need to research Lord Dudley Mountcatten’s family tree?
.
.
I do not. But kudos to the marketing genius who came up with this. I’m sure they’re making a fortune.
.
.
I do happen to be a Rolling Stones fan, RIP Charlie Watts, but that’s a big no on the lips and tongue bottle of whiskey.
And on further examination? It’s a good thing I don’t want to add one to the man cave bar.
.
.
65,000 euro? Holy guacamole Batman… that’s a seriously pricey sip!
.
.
Last week my husband came home from the store with a leash and harness for Lord Dudley Mountcatten. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea… and neither was Lord Dudley Mountcatten.
.
.
Have you ever tried to put a harness on an uncooperative feline? It’s a lot like herding wombats, only bloodier.
.
.
And while his Lordship has wanted to go outside since we got him…
.
.
I doubt this is quite how he envisioned it.
.
.
If looks could kill… we would have been dead on the spot.
.
.
My husband quickly learned that walking a cat requires an infinite amount of patience.
.
.
For every 10 steps Lord Mountcatten walked?
.
.
He spent 10 minutes sitting, biting at the harness and glaring up at us as if to say this contraption is robbing me of my dignity, not to mention my will to live.
Making the decision to keep him housebound was hard, as all our other pets were free to roam outside. But after losing one to a speeding car and then watching Dudley run right for the road the one time he got loose, I was okay with him being under house arrest.
.
.
I mean really, it’s not such a hardship to be waited on hand and foot by your human staff and pampered with an endless supply of catnip.
The whole walking on a leash scenario seems like the ultimate tease to me. A taste of freedom without being free. But the husband thinks it’s wonderful and plans to continue. Time will tell…
.
.
.
When you’re a housebound cat, squirrels on the patio furniture are the ultimate tease.
.
.
So close!
.
.
Poor Dudley.
.
.
Even Momma Red got in on the game.
.
.
His Lordship was actively cackling when she showed up.
.
.
So close, and yet so far.
.
.
Do I love a good baked potato? Of course… please pass the butter. But do I need someone’s face on my tater?
.
.
I definitely do not.
.
.
Best gift ever? Clearly some people don’t know how to shop.
.
.
Whaaaat?
.
.
Let’s wrap our minds around the idea of someone actually applying for a patent for water soluble panties in a can.
🥴
.
.
They’re right. I love cats… but I do not love that. Not even close.
.
River's world..... 