Tag Archives: school

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I think she missed the class on burying.

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Little dried pieces of fruit have been appearing in strange places around our house as of late.

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On the railings, the steps, at the edge of the gutters. And for a while I just thought the birds bit off more than they could chew. (Do birds chew?)

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But then there she was. Scurrying around the back deck with fruit in her mouth looking for a place to bury her treasure for future consumption.

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I think she must have missed that class at squirrel university.

What a dumb ass.

And speaking of squirrels? While the husband and I decided to take a pass on gifts this Valentines Day… I have to admit he won the card contest hands down.

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It’s perfect.

🤣

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Did you know….

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There’s a school in Reykjavik, Iceland that teaches you how to spot elves?

I did, because….

 

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Yes, you can enroll  here  and start learning all there is to know about trolls, fairies, gnomes and other assorted mythical creatures.

 
Admit it.
You want to go.

Did you know...

The tongues of flamingos were a common delicacy at ancient Rome feasts?

 

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Apparently Nero thought so as well.

 

Did you know.…

The word misteltoe derives from the Anglo-Saxon words mistel and tan?

Mistel means dung…. and tan means twig. So the next time you steal a kiss at Christmas? You’ll be doing it under a dung twig.

Can’t get much more romantic than that.

 

 

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Did you know….

The band Steely Dan got it’s name from a William Bourroughs book called Naked Lunch.

Steely Dan III was a strap on dildo.

 

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Which gives an entirely new meaning to this meme.

 

(Yes, all the above statements are true.

Knowledge is a wonderful thing!)

 

 

 

 

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You’re never to old to learn…. Tin Cans.

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The new adult educational booklet for our area was delivered today and I’m  dumbfounded anyone would pay money for this crap  very excited for the next round of classes!

Last season we had :

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

 

And this season?

We’ll start with a class about tin cans.

 

 

Yes, Tom. It’s true.

In Maine you can take a class that teaches you how to turn a tin can into a stove.

 

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You’re welcome.

You can stop reading other blogs now, it won’t get any stupider than this.

 

 

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I mean, come on…

When was the last time you fit a stove in your backpack?

 

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Point taken. That kid might be able to…

But for the rest of us taking the class means that can of baked beans we had for dinner last night could be heating up our outdoor meals for months to come.

 

 

No, I wasn’t thinking of that particular heat source.

But then, I wasn’t thinking of this either when I searched Google….

 

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Damn, that disturbing.

And it certainly makes their ad slogan a bit suspect….

 

 

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Maybe you should use a Campbell’s soup can instead.

It worked for Warhol.

 

 

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Even better than rocks…

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I’ve been known to give some interesting birthdays gifts in my time.

Some elicit laughter, some tears….

Some? Downright befuddlement.

It’s all good.

In the past few years, I’ve gifted my husband with experiences as well as tangible items.

2014 was a beer making lesson.

 

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Friends and family joined us for what I thought would be a laugh a minute celebration…

 

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Ah, look at those happy faces.

(Word of warning –  if you’re thinking about trying it? There’s a lot more to beer than drinking. And I don’t recommend any of it.)

Beer drinking? Fun!

Beer making?

 

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Not so much.

It’s a long involved process…. that I completely stopped caring about two hours in.

 

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Poor husband.

Look at him… he had his tasting glass ready and it wasn’t anywhere near finished.

Birthday experience gift rating on a scale of 1 to 10?

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Last year I nailed it with a School of Falconry class.

This was fabulous and we both enjoyed it immensely.

 

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Husband got up close and personal with a Harris Hawk and a Peregrine Falcon.

And they were both beautiful creatures.

 

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Learning to handle them can be challenging.

 

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As well as a little intimidating.

Of course, they were nothing compared to the instructor.

 

 

She was downright terrifying.

(I think the husband had flashbacks to boot camp and reverted to a quivering PFC before my eyes.)

But baggie of dead quails aside?

 

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An awesome day.

Birthday experience gift rating?

A definite 10!

 

So this year, along with the rock and other assorted presents…

I gave him a helicopter.

 

 

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Okay, calm down.

Those babies go for $425,000.

I gave him the experience of learning how to fly a helicopter.

Half an hour class instruction, half an hour flying time with 2 guests.

I’m not sure when we’ll do it, most likely after the weather warms up.

But I’m guessing it’s going to be a good one!

Assuming we don’t die in a flaming fireball of a crash…

That’s bound to reduce the rating.