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You were hoping I would run out of these? No such luck…
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I’ll start –
Baby can I put my hair in your mouth?
Mildly disturbing… but not that funny. I’ll try again.
Baby can I put my baby in your car?
Even less funny. One more time –
Baby can I put my flowers in your closet?
Alright, my predictive text is predictably boring.
Your turn!
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It’s a shame chokecherries are bitter and nearly impossible to eat…
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Because our tree is just loaded with them this year.
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But speaking of eating…. when your neighbors start dumping tons of veggies on your doorstep because no one ever grows a few zucchini? Try this:
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Slice, dip in beaten egg, then Italian breadcrumbs, lightly fry in olive oil and serve with lemon herb aioli. Fabulous!
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In other news, the turkeys are still here and my husband is still chasing them.
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I’m laughing because he was about to lose his pants running after them. (Don’t tell him I posted this, I’d never hear the end of it.) And while I normally think the daily chasing is ridiculous as well as fruitless…. you’re not going to out stubborn a wild turkey …. those little bastards have eaten every single one of our blueberries this year. On all 7 bushes! And that means no blueberry pie, no blueberry coffee cake, no pancakes or muffins. Damn their feathered souls!
😡
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I watched the White Sox beat the Yankees on the Field of Dreams the other night. (That’s Kevin Costner in the photo.) I’m an unapologetic sucker for that movie. Never been able to watch it without thinking of my father and crying like a baby.
If I’m ever in Iowa? I am damn sure going to Dyersville and walking through that corn.
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I want to stay mad at them.
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But when they’re this damn cute?
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It’s hard.
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They’re leaving my flowers alone for now.
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And seem to be satisfied stealing the deer apples.
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Cute little buggers.
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I saw this the other day and was sorely tempted.
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I totally need cherry tomato toting ants.
In other local news….
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Such a neighborly thing to do.
And lately a dip in the pool has been sounding wonderful with temps being hot, hot, hot.
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Of course this is Maine, so while it felt like 104 one morning…
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Two days later it felt like 45.
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I replanted my left over garden bed with geraniums after the baby woodchucks ate all the petunias.
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But not before the little bastards darlings chewed all the leaves off my gay feather.
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At least they left the blooms this time.
🥴
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Now I’m wondering what an appropriate beef jerky card message would be.
I wanna hold your ham?
Nice to meat you?
Don’t go bacon my heart.
I have a t-bone to pick with you?
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I certainly don’t, but maybe some of you might…
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Who’s going to order these? Fess up, I know someone will.
But please, don’t post pictures.
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I love a good roast beef sandwich as much as the next girl…. but soaking in beef juice bubbles? Hard pass.
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I don’t wish I could wear those outside. Nope. Not one little bit.
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If you’re that one friend? Please unfollow me immediately.
*gag*
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Well, not really… but it seemed like a better title than ‘Glass Full of Foam’.
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Yes, we let the keg sit still overnight. And yes, we had the kegerator set to the proper temperature… but we were still getting full glasses of foam. The only thing left to do was adjust the CO2 flow, you know…. the thing I kept telling my husband we had to do even though he said we absolutely positively didn’t have to.
So I did what any self respecting beer drinker would do…. I sent him to the house on an errand, then made the adjustment myself.
Viola!
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The perfect glass of beer. ( And yes, the placement of my “At Last” prohibition glass from the FDR museum in Hyde Park was most definitely on purpose )
Did you know fruit flies are attracted to beer taps? I didn’t either, but who can blame them.
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The solution? Plug the tap when not in use. And if you want to put your womanly mark on the man cave? Do it with a pink wine bottle stopper.
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That way it will match the pink bell and pink cocktail napkins already on the bar.
🤣
Next up was the shorty tap handle I ordered from Allagash.
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I’ve been told I can pick something for myself for the second keg. Hmm…
My favorite amber ale? That luscious chocolate cherry sour? Or maybe a nice hard cider?
Decisions, decisions.
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But sometimes it makes me laugh.
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And here I didn’t even know my vulva wanted a spa day.
A lot of the comments were negative.
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But then there was this one… and I’m dying.
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Ball wash!
Guess I’m not the only one getting those annoying ads.
🤣
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Not wanting to kill each so late in the day, we saved assembly of the kegerator until Saturday morning. Relaxing weekend my *ss. 🥴
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The first step on the way to cold beer was finding a place to fill the (brand new and shiny apple red!) CO2 tank required for tapping a keg. Had I known it would not be coming back home with us, I would have taken its picture. So clean and pretty! But alas in our part of the world no one fills CO2 tanks, they just exchange them. So bye bye lovely sparkling new red tank, and hello old, scuffed, ugly metal version.
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The regulator was easy to attach, and the husband managed to do it without blowing himself up … so I call that a win.
Next up was clamping the hoses to the keg couplers. They came with 4 of these ridiculous plastic things….
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Only one of which worked.
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Husband promptly broke the other 3 then stormed off to the local hardware store for the normal adjustable metal versions.
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Tank and regulator placed on shelf? Check!
Hoses clamped onto couplers and attached to tank? Check!
All that was left was to tap the keg…. and since the husband hadn’t done that anytime in the current century?
It did not go well.
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But can I get a round of applause for the perfectly timed photograph?
I’m so good…. it’s frightening.
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Beer went everywhere. On the floor, on the window, on the mini fridge, everywhere but in our mouths… which is usually where you want to direct it.
And then, when the keg was finally put in position and tapped?
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Pure foam.
😬
To be continued….
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After I polished off another bottle of wine, we assembled at the picnic table to play a pseudo gambling dice game.
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It’s called Left Right Center, is ridiculously easy to play and will cost you $3 a game.
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I missed the first game, but enjoyed the second.
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Who won?
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Let’s just say my pockets were $39 fuller than when I arrived.
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Flush with victory, I strolled down to meet the goats and raised my glass in greeting.
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They’re such cuties.
And quite the talkers….
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Have you scratched a goat today?
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I highly recommend it.
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Yes, after ordering one in January, receiving it in February, sending it back due to damage in March, waiting for a refund until May, ordering another one in June….
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In August… we finally (why the hell was that was so hard?) have a kegorator!!!
Naturally, with my husband at the helm…. delivery to the man cave did not go smoothly.
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Drive much? And yes, it was my car he used to ram into the garden bed bricks. Geesh!
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Numerous pieces and parts accompanied the unit.
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Which barely fit in between the bar and my (heavily loaded because yes, a girl needs variety) booze laden shelves.
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But there she is… in place, a dual tapper!
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Of course we had to rush right out and purchase a keg of the husband’s favorite Belgian. (Heavier than it looks. Damn!)
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Allagash White, from a local Maine brewery.
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And then came the holy shit we might need an engineer dreaded assembly instructions.
To be continued….
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River's world..... 