My very favorite small batch artisan gin. Made by a distillery in New Hampshire, we make the pilgrimage once a year so I can stock up on the plummy goodness. ( And at $60 a bottle, stocking up is serious business.)
Made with damson plums, bitter orange and fresh juniper, this gin is an absolute delight and makes your tonic shiver with orgasmic pleasure. It’s a seasonal treat and if the roll out is missed? River is not a happy camper.
For this reason I tend to bogart the elixir, and only roll it out on special occasions or for special people. So you can imagine my level of annoyance when the neighbors dropped by the barn a few weeks ago (with friends and family in tow) to share in the glory that is the man cave. We welcomed them in, gave them the $2 tour and offered them an adult beverage.
Mind you… at any given time I have 48+ bottles of liquor on the shelves, a mini fridge of mixers, soda and juice, a dual tap kegerator, and a full size refrigerator filled with craft beer, wine, hard seltzer, hard cider and canned cocktails. My point?
There be options!
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It was then that my idiot oh so generous husband suggested the group try gin and tonics made with.. you guessed it.. my very last, hard to replace, time sensitive half bottle of Tamworth Damson.
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If I could have reached him from under the bar I would have kicked him. Instead, I smiled through clenched teeth and poured the final drops of my precious spirit and handed glasses to everyone.
They oohed and ahhed appreciatively, asked where they could buy it, then promptly changed their minds when they heard the price. The only thing that spared my idiot oh so generous husband’s life was the fact that I was unable to offer refills.
And now I wait.
Checking the website weekly to see when my happy juice is next available for purchase.
There’s rumor it may not be until mid December this year… which gives me ample time to beat the mantra Do not offerthe special gin without permission! into my husband’s head.
A few new old things have been added to the man cave of late.
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A primitive sled, which I thought was for children.. but turned out to be for hauling split wood from the shed to the house back in the day. And no, it didn’t stay in that position….
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It’s precariously propped up in the corner behind the chairs.
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A pump action vacuum cleaner. And as a modern woman of today, let me tell you… it ain’t no Roomba.
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A few more Name that Crap! tools have made their way to the table of antique horrors.
So if you ever need to draw information from a recalcitrant friend or loved one… let me know.
I hope everyone is having a better Thanksgiving holiday than me.
Because I’m probably going to be spending it in bed. ( and not in a good way )
No turkey. No stuffing.
Just severely swollen and f***ing painful lymph nodes due to my Covid booster shot yesterday.
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Yes, I’m one of the lucky 11% of people who have this awful reaction and it’s my own fault. I had it after my second dose and should have known it would happen again.
Along with the tender and oh so painful grapefruit in my armpit, there’s a splitting headache and all over joint pain.
Knees, ankles, shoulders. If it moves? It hurts.
Piss poor planning on my part. Who in their right mind gets a shot they know will land them in bed the day before Thanksgiving?
Me. Because they had a cancellation and if I didn’t take that appointment the next one available was December 12th.
So please, have an extra drumstick and slice of pie for me.
It seems our 2021 Thanksgiving dinner might look like this…
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Because I just received a phone call from the host of the celebration we planned to attend. She and her husband…. who were both fully vaccinated but not boosted…. have come down with Covid.
This woman is one of the most careful people I know. She always wears a mask, avoids crowds and washes her hands frequently. But her husband went north last week to visit his son. His son’s family was not vaccinated, and the town where he was staying has an extremely high positivity rate.
So now they’re both quite ill. Fever, chills, splitting headaches, extreme fatigue, body aches, joint stiffness, brain fogginess, coughing, sore throat, loss of taste and smell.
She’s a pretty tough cookie and rarely complains, but I can tell she’s worried. Thankfully they’re not having any breathing issues and are hoping they can ride it out at home.
I’ve offered to bring groceries and drop meals on their porch, but a family member has them covered.
And though I know it’s awful….the thought that keeps popping in my head is if it had been a day or two later? We all would have been exposed and at risk.
My other half had his booster shot 2 weeks ago… and me? I just scheduled one for this afternoon. Yours truly is not taking any chances.
I’m also not eating Thanksgiving dinner from a can… and am now heading to the grocery store to fight the crowds and search for a last minute turkey and fixings to prepare a quiet meal for two.
I knew when I clicked that stupid disembodied nostril Duluth Trading Company ad for underwear the other day I would regret it. I knew it… and I did it anyway for the sake of a blog laugh.
Now, I pay the price.
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Yes, the algorithms have kicked in with a vengeance.
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I know that particular item is meant for your shoes to provide traction in the snow, but admit it. You visualized the same kinky S&M corset I did on first glance too … right?
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Unless you need a gift for Tiny Tim’s grandson, I can find no reasonable explanation for that product.
And finally after all those bombs, I saw something I would actually consider buying.
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A chicken flicker.
It’s like darts, with poultry. Perfect!
I was picturing hours of slightly intoxicated fun in the man cave and then…
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Way to go Duluth.
Teasing a girl with competitive chicken tossing and then not delivering is just cruel.
#1. We’re spending Thanksgiving Day with friends this year and along with my luscious crabmeat toasty appetizers and a cappuccino mousse trifle dessert, I was asked to bring… are you sitting down?
Green bean casserole. 🤢
While I’ve been known to make that abomination (for certain spouses who shall remain nameless) I can’t say I’m a fan. So I searched high and low for a recipe that would make it more palatable.
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I found one for the crock pot that sounded much better than the original. Fresh beans, fresh mushrooms, heavy cream, fresh garlic and thyme etc.
It was a bit of a pain to make and littered my kitchen with dirty dishes… but thankfully I did a dry run a few days ago before I served it to the group.
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Sadly, the trash can was the only appropriate place for it. Blech! How something so promising could taste so horrible is beyond me.
I shall now be making the original bowl of slop that everyone expects.
Clearly it can’t be improved.
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#2. I heard that Paul Rudd had been voted Sexiest Man Alive in People magazine. I can’t say I agree, but I won’t argue with this logic:
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#3. I believe I have officially reached the point of no return on the less than graceful decline into old age. I know this because the only way I can remember to add a song to my iPod is to take a picture of my car radio when it’s playing.
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And yes, I said iPod.
Told you I was old.
🤣
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 