I do.
And they’re still cracking me up.
Nice work Fido.
Clever….
And think of the lovely smooth skin he’ll have afterwards.
Have you hugged your…
(Whatever the hell that is) today?
I have to say I never realized how versatile toilet paper is as a prop.
But it is.
It really is.
Making a grocery run with the husband looks a little different these days…
As does his idea of the word essentials.
But the real news of the day?
This:
We found two of the most elusive items in Maine. Flour and toilet paper!!!
Now I can say I know how a crack whore feels after a fix.
Well, maybe not exactly how.
But still…
We found these precious jewels at an out of the way, generic name grocery store in the back country.
And no, I’m not telling you where.
Relax.
This is a G rated post.
I’m speaking of a yew bush in front of our home office window.
It’s large, unruly and was in need of a pruning. Problem was, I couldn’t reach most of it from outside so……
I hung out the window and did a little hedge trimming from the inside.
This results in an utter mess and small green needles everywhere.
But what’s a girl to do when her bush needs trimming?
There.
That’s better.
Big is a relative term.
I think my butt is big, but then I look at J Lo and Beyoncé and feel positively svelte.
So in an attempt to answer the title question..
Yes, traffic lights are that big…. which makes your go to excuse of “But I didn’t see that red light officer” a trifle lame.
Moose are this big.
This might surprise people who don’t live in Maine or Alaska, but yes. Hit one with your car and you’ll find out just how freakishly gigantic they really are.
The pyramids?
Yup.
Pretty big.
And to be honest, this picture made me cross climbing to the top of one off my travel bucket list.
And finally, for Masercot. Who has never fully gotten on board the wombat bandwagon.
There’s wombat big.
Big and beautiful.
Yes sir.
They got that right.
I mean yes, all these art e-creations are slightly bizarre.
But some me make me laugh more than others.
Others?
Make me snort out loud.
Thank you clever art lovers….
For giving me something to chuckle about during this stressful time.
Going out for a seafood dinner certainly has changed in recent months.
Gone are the charming restaurants with lovely oceanfront views. Gone are the meticulously crafted cocktails and professional wait staff.
These days?
It’s a long line of cars idling at the curb waiting to cue up to a traveling roach coach.
While this would normally not be the least bit appealing, I was quite sick of cooking last week and one of the husband’s friends swore this seafood was good, plentiful and reasonably priced.
From the size of the crowds you’d think the circus had come to town.
People be desperate.
We waited 20 minutes in the car parade, 10 minutes for a girl to take our order, and another 20 minutes for the food.
50 minutes without a martini?
Is not my idea of dinner out.
To say I should have known it would be bad is trite…. but oh, so true.
For slightly over $30?
I received 2 absolutely disgusting and totally inedible crab cakes…. while the husband frantically tried to find a section of fish in the foot thick batter.
Disappointing doesn’t begin to describe that rancid grease drenched mess.
Bad seafood is always bad.
But this?
You never know what the grocery store will be out of these days.
I haven’t seen flour for weeks, unless it’s made from something ghastly. At this point, dehydrated tofu/arugula flour wouldn’t surprise me.
Along with the lack of everyday items comes the strange substitutions.
Some, I can live with.
Peach and almond dish soap? Sure.
Legume pastas? Not so much.
Colorful? Yes.
Tasty? I doubt it.
Yes, these horrors are still on the shelf.
Though that shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone.
I couldn’t find my regular orange juice last trip and had to home with this.
And all I can say is the fruit might have ripened on the tree…. but the flavor leeched out on the way to the bottle. A less fruity fruit juice you’re not apt to find.
Then there was this, that the husband simply had to buy when the peanut butter shelf was empty.
Roasted watermelon seed butter.
WTF?
” ‘In with the new’ kinda day” ?
This abomination looks like beige spackling paste and smells half as appetizing. Needless to say the other half had one sandwich and called it good.
Did I mention it was $17 a jar?
A new scent of soap made its way to the shelves and being a mango lover, I had high hopes.
Sadly there was a lot more butter than mango in this product and unless you have a sudden urge to smell like a hot bucket of movie theater popcorn? I’d steer clear.
And finally, there were Pete and Gerry’s eggs.
What happened to Ben….
Good God, is my Cherry Garcia in peril?
Gerry… go back to Ben.
Substitutions are not always acceptable.
And I don’t want to start a partisan political fight.
But I’m getting tired of people snarkily saying, “You know that’s not going to protect you.” every time I go out in public with my cloth face mask firmly in place.
Yes, I know it’s not going to protect me.… but it’s going to protect you against airborne infected droplets in case I’m asymptomatic, which apparently many of us are.
I protect you, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you protect me… and by default my older husband who has 3 major underlying health conditions that would make catching Covid 19 a possible death sentence. I’m not an alarmist, or a panicker. I’m level headed and calm, but when it comes to my husband’s life? I’m not taking chances.
I get that the economy can’t be shut down indefinitely. I understand people are suffering, and if I could trust them to protect others? I would have no problem opening businesses. But a lot of the people I know who are out there protesting in large unprotected groups have jobs they can work from home and steady incomes.
They’re just upset they can’t go out and play.
Yeah…. let that sink in.
If the Irish can stop consuming their pints in public? I think Americans can deal with a little piece of cloth if it helps save lives.
And to those who say the crisis isn’t that serious because they don’t personally know anyone who’s ill? We’re relatively lucky in Maine, we have a low contraction and death rate, but even here…. in my small rural town? I know people. Our neighbor who lives behind us has it. Our neighbor to the left’s parents have it, one severe enough to require hospitalization.
It’s here.
It’s everywhere.
As this sad picture posted by a childhood friend who lives in NYC can attest.
There are no sympathy cards because there are too many deaths. If that isn’t the definition of serious, I don’t know what is.
Rant over.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.
Even if it doesn’t quite live up to the original.
You knew there would be more…. right?
Nice unabrow.
Nice…. dragon?
Not many men can carry off the parasol look. Though the Frito bag gloves do help.
Kudos sir.
And if you think it’s all about classic art….
Well, dogs playing poker is someone’s idea of a classic I’m sure.
But I really need something blooming in my life right now so I masked up and headed to a local nursery down the road for the other kind of flower.
No make up, no manicure and wearing a sweatshirt.
The Corona lock down has definitely put a nail in the coffin of my beauty regime.
Please note the mask is color coordinated though.
I’m not a heathen FFS.
Came home with a car load full of pansies, begonias, geraniums, mallow and a container of pretty I don’t know what.
This will be a good start… but no where near enough to fill my beds.
River's world..... 