This is the way we’ve been spending most of our evenings during the summer of Covid-19.
Barn porch sitting with an adult beverage…. or two.
Sometimes there’s a sunset.
The deer usually wander up for a treat.
And bark at us if we’re spotted.
Which, all things considered… is pretty frickin’ rude.
We are the treat suppliers after all.
I don’t need a formal thank you note, but a little common courtesy would be nice.
Ahh….
Because laughter is the cheapest form of therapy.
Damn!
That must be it.
At least now I know where it all went.
A pox on you Picard family.
Wow.
That’s something to ponder.
Jesus!
So did I.
They’re right, we were.
And none of us listened.
I anxiously await the day.
Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.
Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….
Simple ads are always the best.
As was I.
So where is it?
I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.
Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
As good an explanation as any.
Because cleanliness is so important.
No self respecting Mainer should be without one.
I can’t eat them any more….
But at least now I can wear them.
Though not nearly as well as Patrick Stewart.
Because wouldn’t you rather laugh?
There.
That puts things in perspective.
Yes.
For quite a bit longer by the looks of things.
Don’t you just hate when that happens?
Hell, in Maine…. it already does.
Good rule.
Most definitely.
Grocery stores have become the new I-95. Wrong way dumb asses, rubberneckers, and the road police who do 25 miles under the posted speed limit.
Move aside people….
River needs double fudge brownie mix. And tequila.
A fitting finale.
WTF indeed.
Because we all need a chuckle.
Well done kitty.
Now step up your game and fetch us some toilet paper.
Does anyone think about all the poor out of work hookers?
No.
But I’m sure they’re feeling the pinch as well… although probably not in the places they’re used to.
Sad, but true.
Also sad, but true.
I read a cockroach can survive for 6 months without it’s brain. Hell, Keith’s got that record beat already.
Other places?
Ay caramba!
Even I’ll say amen to that.
I ventured out to the grocery store again this morning and was feeling a bit gangsta.
Although in retrospect, a pink butterflied gangsta probably wasn’t all that frightening.
Still no toilet paper or flour on the shelves…. and may I just say?
This is getting old.
It’s been what, almost 2 months since the virus started spreading? Come on people…. the supply chain is still moving, food is still available. Stop the panic buying FFS!
Today?
The soup Nazi made an appearance.
Apparently, the run on soup has begun.
Unless you want creamy cauliflower or butternut squash.
There was plenty of that.
I ventured out of my lock down burrow yesterday and went grocery shopping for the first time in 21 days. It was quite a learning experience.
I learned Wal Mart has a bizarrely convoluted maze of barricades at the entrance so you can’t use the same door as those who are exiting. They have staff wiping down carts, cashiers wiping down check out lanes and six foot distancing markers on the floors. The one thing they didn’t have?
A single employee wearing a mask. To which I say…. WTH?
At my second stop, a grocery chain called Shaws…. I learned there are 2 staff members with clickers and clipboards counting customers at the entrance so no more than 75 people can be in the store at the same time. They have arrows for one way aisles, distancing markers at the checkout and a ban on bringing reusable bags from home. The one thing they didn’t have?
A single employee wearing a mask. To which I say…. WTF?
I got hollered at for putting my groceries on the check out conveyor belt too soon, by a cashier who wouldn’t wear a mask. Smarten up people! Half measures are no measures. We need to get on top of this thing…. my local pub misses me!
Other things I learned?
I don’t look good in a mask.
And there’s still no toilet paper.
Anywhere.
There was plenty of deodorant, but no toothpaste…. because apparently clean minty breath is more important than body odor during pandemics.
You want flour?
Sorry, no can do.
Oh, there are full shelves here and there.
But they’re filled with such things as Tumeric pasta and….
Yeah.
There was no shortage of those.
This item was fully stocked as well.
Clearly I’m not the only one who hates cilantro.
I also learned you can’t wear reading glasses while sporting an N95 mask. Nope. If you do…. those little suckers will fog up like the back of your teenage boyfriend’s Chevy van on prom night.
I came home with something I didn’t want or need simply because I couldn’t read the damn thing.
Yay me.
I also learned that if you’re menopausal and prone to hot flashes? You’re not going to enjoy going out in public for the foreseeable future.
The mask I wore is great, it filters out all the harmful particles… but breathing through it? Not so great.
I overheated to a temperature approaching the surface of the sun within 5 minutes…. then turned a bright feverish red and had to finish shopping quickly before I melted into a puddle in the dairy section.
Think I’m kidding?
Nope.
Not kidding.
I’m not sick, just splotchy. Honest!
River's world..... 