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Not much exciting was happening in our little burg this week.
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It was a very mild winter and unfortunately we’re all apt to have lots of Johns. Wait…. that didn’t sound right.
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John gets around.
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Bad puns. They’re everywhere.
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A brazen coyote? This is where my mind went….
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That’s got to be a hard way to go.
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With a name like Tofu, the odds are good she wasn’t eaten. Even hawks have to draw the line somewhere.
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I posted a picture of Lord Dudley Mountcatten sprawled on my husband’s laptop to Facebook a while back and a girlfriend sent me this.
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I think that could work quite well.
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Required picture of his Lordship.
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Hard no.
If there is ever a club that declines to offer me membership? Please let it be this one.
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Required photo number two.
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And look how happy kitty is with his gift! I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a strategically placed pile of poo in that owner’s future.
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Required photo number three. Dudley is not impressed.
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I live in the country, in a small Maine town. This is never more apparent than when you read their local Facebook page.
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I don’t golf, never have. But if I could hire a personal goat caddy? I might have to start.
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And speaking of goats….
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Rent a goat. Now there’s a small business worth supporting.
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And if you think we’re all about goats, never fear.
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We have worms right next to the milk and butter in our grocery store’s dairy case.
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And finally… are we really doing this now?
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Puppy play dates. What happened to the good old days when neighborhood dogs just met on the corner and sniffed each other butts?
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Or a Dik Dik as the case may be.
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Ever since I bought Poetry for Neanderthals from Facebook ( which we still haven’t played because Covid has killed game night with friends ) I’ve been getting ads. Some are interesting, some are ridiculous. I think this one falls into the latter category.
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And while I’m sure having a handful of Slippery Dicks can be delightful, I think I’m probably going to pass on this one.
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I’d like to think my sense of humor is a tad more advanced.
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Though I am blogging about this… so the point might be moot.
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One little picture of Dudley on Facebook. That’s all it took for the Catopia algorithm to switch into high gear. And today? Unfortunately it’s bathroom themed.
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Yikes.
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Not anymore, no. Although thanks to Covid and an injured knee…. there is a whole lot more of it.
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Wow.
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I’d say this poster is a little cheeky, but that’s a tad too on point.
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If Dudley wanders in and hands me the toilet paper? I’m totally ditching Facebook.
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My Facebook page is currently flooded with cat related products. I’m not complaining, it certainly beats the ball wash and butt deodorant I used to see. And hey… if I enjoy doing beer flights?
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I’m sure Lord Dudley Mountcatten would not be averse to a flight of kitty chronic.
This next product looked promising for me winning the cat box war.
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Though ridiculously large, it’s self contained and would stop our furry menace from flinging litter.
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Hmm. Guess that’s a no.
And I hate to admit it but yes, I broke down and ordered something silly.
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A personalized mask of me and Dudley. Granted I haven’t worn a cropped, midriff baring blouse in 20 (okay, 25. Geesh!) years…. but the hair color and wide hips are pretty close.
😉
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Yes, this really is a thing.
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And they’re not exactly giving them away either.
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Dudley also doesn’t need a scratcher that looks like a sardine can.
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I mean, Christ…. look what happened to this poor cat when he used it.
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No thank you annoying Facebook algorithm, Dudley will live quite happily without this as well.
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I’m sure the cat in the advertisement would much rather have had a bowl of tuna.
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And will be pooping in his parents slippers as soon as they go to sleep tonight.
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Finally, something worth exploring.
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Hmm…
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Pomegranate wine sounds intriguing… but Gatorade Chablis?
The horror!
And speaking of horrors.
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Butt deodorant is back.
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Bacteria is digesting my bodily fluids?
Holy crap.
I’m going to need a lot of homemade wine.
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Yes, after posting one cute Dudley Mountcatten picture…. Facebook has decided that I need to see all the ridiculous things cat owners purchase while genuflecting before the altar of their furry diety.
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No.
I’m sorry, but I feel absolutely no need to cuddle a stuffed cat log. Although, they would make an interesting club to whack the husband with when he gets out of line.
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Oh no, Hell no.
While I did chortle over the plethora of Bernie in his quintessentially New England winter attire memes, I have no desire for a personalized cat version on my wall.
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Hmm. Dead rodent door knocker? Only if it comes in a red squirrel version…
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I clicked on the video.
But in my defense…. how could I not? It had a talking ass that wasn’t a politician. That’s a rare thing these days.
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I knew it would be bad, I knew! But I clicked on it anyway… and boy, I wasn’t wrong.
There were directions.
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And the aforementioned chatty butt holes.
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(Who dreams up these things?)
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They were quite explicit about where the offending odors originate.
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But by the time I reached this part of the video?
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I had to turn it off. With the knowledge that I’ve doomed myself to a slew of bizarre Facebook ads for months to come.
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River's world..... 