So attractive.

March 16, 2021 Rivergirl 21 Comments

After a nightmarish week of battling Direct TV customer service and their bots, an hour long phone conversation with “Susie” from Bangalore, an hour and a half long conversation with “Susie’s” supervisor “Jimmy” from New Delhi, one service call from a technician who said he was given the wrong work order, a second visit from a technician who said we didn’t need a separate dish on the barn roof after all, a 40 minute long conversation with “Elaine” from Mumbai in which I told her I wasn’t paying an extra $100 for something that should be free, and a third visit from a technician who finally hooked up a mini receiver in the man cave ….

Can you see it?

I hope not.

But it’s there.

An extremely long cable connecting the satellite dish on our house to the barn.

Because someone…who shall remain nameless but answers to ‘Hey Marine’…. just had to have a television with a full program line up with DVR capability in his man cave.

In Maine, lines don’t get buried until spring…. which means I’ll either trip over it and break my neck in the meantime, or the red squirrel bitch from Hell will chew through it when seeking revenge.

Good times.

Did I mention I had to spend another 35 minutes online with a chatbot when Direct TV charged me twice for the same service call and then added a $9 monthly protection plan to my bill that I didn’t approve? Ever since AT&T took them over it’s been a horror show.

😡

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One chill little dude.

March 16, 2021 Rivergirl 17 Comments

Lord Dudley Mountcatten is relaxed and finally feeling like this is home.

He’s adjusting to our routine and no longer runs at loud noises.

The vacuum cleaner is still regarded as an evil entity, but he’ll happily sit at my feet while I blow dry my hair.

The living room furniture seems to be his favorite…

And I have to say I’m a bit jealous at how much sound sleep he gets.

Life is good for this little guy.

And us.

😊

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A recommendation pour vous.

March 15, 2021 Rivergirl 22 Comments

I don’t often recommend beer to friends because everyone tends to like something different. But once in a while I come across a special one that makes me so happy…. I have to share.

This strange Belgian concoction has a delicious whiff on chocolate upon introduction…. and then sweeps you skyward in a heady sour cherry cloud.

Pairs well with rich and dense desserts?

Then bring on the 12 pound chocolate fudge layer cake and River is one happy blogger.

Seriously, if you like sours? You’ve got to try this one.

Frank A. agrees.

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I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did it anyway.

March 15, 2021 Rivergirl 27 Comments

I clicked on the video.

But in my defense…. how could I not? It had a talking ass that wasn’t a politician. That’s a rare thing these days.

I knew it would be bad, I knew! But I clicked on it anyway… and boy, I wasn’t wrong.

There were directions.

And the aforementioned chatty butt holes.

(Who dreams up these things?)

They were quite explicit about where the offending odors originate.

But by the time I reached this part of the video?

I had to turn it off. With the knowledge that I’ve doomed myself to a slew of bizarre Facebook ads for months to come.

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The kegorator arrival, and sadly… it’s departure.

March 14, 2021 Rivergirl 17 Comments

Why is nothing ever easy for us?

After searching far and wide for a kegorator and coming up empty (thanks again for making everyone housebound alcoholics Covid 19) we broke down and ordered one on Amazon.

Yay! Fresh beer would soon be flowing from dual taps.

Boo.

The box was in rough shape when UPS delivered, the protective packaging broken. And when we tore off all the wrapping?

The right rear side was dented and the access plate bowed out.

Had it just been cosmetic I wouldn’t have cared, but the damage was right near the motor and something was rattling.

So back it goes.

Damn it!

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What fresh Hell is this?

March 14, 2021 Rivergirl 21 Comments

Lately Facebook’s algorithms have given me non stop ball wash and butt deodorant. I have no idea why …. as I don’t have balls or need to perfume my ass.

But this?

This is definitely a bridge too far.

Tofu!

For the love of all that’s holy…. no.

I don’t eat it.

I won’t eat it.

And you can’t make me eat it.

A more disgusting thing to put in my mouth I have never met.

And that’s saying something.

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Hope springs eternal.

March 13, 2021 Rivergirl 14 Comments

Yes, the husband bought another tarp in anticipation of another rain storm.

And yes, he decided to put it on the roof on a windy day.

What a good idea that was.

Was I helping?

Yes.

Was I also laughing my *ss off and photographing the endeavor?

Of course.

At least this tarp is heavier and smaller so it doesn’t hang over the side and flap in the breeze like the last one.

Will it stay on the roof during a storm? Doubtful, but not for lack of trying on the husband’s part.

Required shot of our backyard with the paltry amount of winter snow taken from the top of my ladder.

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Oh sure, everyone wants to adopt puppies and kittens.

March 13, 2021 Rivergirl 16 Comments

The World Wildlife Fund is currently running a fundraiser in which you “adopt” an animal. I think you receive a stuffed version and some other cutesy little stuff but that’s not what I’m blogging about.

So sure, everyone wants to adopt a koala. Their cuddle quotient is off the charts and they’re freakin’ adorable.

But really… who wants to adopt a bat?

And a blood sucking bat at that.

Another tough sell?

While I find devils rather sweet, prevailing wisdom says no.

Whale shark? Their mouths are four feet wide and they eat 50 lbs a day. That’s almost as much as a teenage boy.

Something tells me these guys are going to be at the orphanage for a very long time.

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He didn’t get the memo.

March 12, 2021 Rivergirl 24 Comments

Lord Dudley Mountcatten is a well behaved cat. He’s a dainty eater who doesn’t bite, howl or beg. He does however scratch the furniture on occasion. Wanting to nip this habit in the bud, I purchased numerous scratch worthy substitutes…. none of which have worked.