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I believe this was a modern art display.
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But come on….
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That’s got best selling product written all over it.
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I totally need one of these.
Monthly Archives: May 2021
That’s one expensive nosebleed.
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I’m in the minority in my state, and my geographic region for that matter… because I don’t care for the Patriots. But what really makes me an oddball? The fact that I don’t like Tom Brady. We won’t get into the reasons, but suffice it to say when he moved to Tampa Bay? I happily waved bye bye.
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We have friends who recently moved to Florida. Being major Brady fans, they were thrilled when he followed them to the sunshine state. But for people in my neck of the woods, it’s a quandary. They want to keep rooting for the Patriots, but still love Tommy. So when the NFL schedule was announced and a date was picked for the Bucs vs Pats game at Foxboro? Insanity ensued. Tickets for the we’re so effin’ far away from the field we should send a postcard nosebleed section seats?
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$3,200 per. And may I just say… what the utter f*ck! I’m not a football fan so it’s not like I’d be going anyway, but how many blue collar American workers can afford that? None, that’s how many.
And if you want a good seat?
Tickets for Section 111…. on the Patriots sideline… are going for $42,000 per. Which brings to mind one word.
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And it’s not raccoon.
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Let’s play!
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Stop rolling your eyes. It’s not painful… and they make me chuckle.
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I’ll start.
My drag Queen name is…. Julianna Creme Horn. Which, when you think about it… couldn’t be more appropriate.
🤣
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When everything that can go wrong…. does. Part 2
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We woke Saturday morning trying to laugh at how horrible the day before had been. It was a definite nightmare, but the sun was shining, the birds were singing and we had new leather chairs to unpack!
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We also had large tracks torn in our lawn from our friend’s giant diesel truck. Of course it had to rain while we were gone the night before, making the ground nice and slippery when he backed up to the porch. 😬
Oh well, out to the barn we went to unwrap the chairs. These chairs… the pretty caramel colored ones we picked out at the store.
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And when we unwrapped the first one?
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It was the wrong color. And had no legs. WTF??? I was livid. After all we went through to get the damn things! I was even pissed off at the tag…
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Real natural? As opposed to what…. fake natural, or real pleather?
I was sputtering and reaching for my phone to call the store and pitch a fit when the husband decided he liked the wrong color and wanted to keep them. Which meant one of two things… he didn’t want to hear me bitch and rant or the thought of waiting another 2 months for replacements and going through the whole warehouse trip again was simply too much.
Either way, he wanted them. And though I wasn’t happy with the much darker color, sometimes I have to remember it’s his man cave and he should be allowed to choose something every now and then. (not that I’ll make a habit of that mind you) But we still had to deal with the no legs issue. We searched the boxes and the wrappings and under the cushions. Nothing. I was getting ready to call the store again and pitch a fit when the husband noticed a string hanging under the second chair.
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There was a zippered compartment under each chair with a box of legs. Clever. But I have to wonder how many other clueless customers search in vain.
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Pieces and parts. And a few hammer shots later…
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I read another tag.
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Our leather chairs are going to have zits and mosquito bites? WTH.
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So there they are. In all their too damned dark glory.
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Husband is happy, and I have to admit they’re very comfortable. But I’m thinking a few strategically placed throw pillows will go a long way to pull it altogether.
😉
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An adventure with weed.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten is sweet…. but his less than sweet claws are doing a number on our rugs and furniture so I purchased yet another scratching post for the furry little peckerwood him.
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It’s part carpet.. since he pulls the loops out of our Berber on a daily basis.. and part sisal. What cat wouldn’t want to scratch that?
Turns out… our cat. Because his Royal Highness wouldn’t touch it. Walked right by it without so much as a glance. Which meant it was time to bring in the big guns.
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Yes, I hosed that thing down with Meowijuana.
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And while it definitely attracted him.. all he did was rub it until it fell over.
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He hugged it.
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He sat on it.
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He draped himself all over it. What the loopy bastard wouldn’t do was scratch it.
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15 minutes later? You be the judge.
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I’m going with stoned.
P.S. …. apologies for the silly voice overs. I tell myself not to do that, and then do it every time.
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When everything that can go wrong…. does.
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We got a phone call telling us the leather chairs we’d ordered for the man cave were ready for pickup. Erring on the side of caution, I suggested we take the husband’s old truck in for a check up before making the long trip. In typical man fashion he thought this was a ridiculous idea, got aggravated with me for impugning the integrity of his baby and told me to schedule the furniture pick up for Friday.
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You knew where this was going…. right? The truck started sputtering and jerking when we hit I-95, an hour after we left home. I suggested we turn around and go back, but no. The husband had the bright idea to get off the highway and ride the back roads down to New Hampshire. This added at least 2 hours to our 2 1/2 trip. When we finally limped in to Nashua… which has awful stop and go traffic and endless traffic lights on the main drag… the truck was stalling every time it idled. I suggested we pull off the road, but no. The husband could literally see the warehouse where our chairs were patiently waiting. He didn’t pull over… so at the final red light? The truck died. Totally and completely died. Smoke pouring out from under the doors died. Yours truly had to jump out and help the husband push it off the busy road into a parking lot. With my bad knee. In case you were wondering…. pushing an 8 foot bed pickup is not on the approved radial meniscus tear exercise list. Ouch! We called AAA and were told due to a tow truck driver shortage it would be a 3 hour wait. Ever sit in a hot truck for 3 hours waiting on a tow? I don’t recommend it. At 4:30 that afternoon…
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The tow truck came, loaded our vehicle on the flat bed and promptly told us due to Covid restrictions we couldn’t ride back to Maine with him … and oh yeah, our coverage was only good for 100 miles. So they’d have to charge us $5 per mile for the overage.
😳
We paid, the truck went back to Maine…. and there was really only one thing left for us to do.
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I drank. I fumed. I ate southwestern egg rolls. I drank some more.
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There may have been eye rolling. (Who am I kidding, there was definitely eye rolling. )
And then I called a friend. A good friend who jumped in his brand new truck and drove over 2 hours to pick us… and our leather chairs … up. Good thing the warehouse was open until 8:00pm.
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We took him out for dinner and drinks. We filled his giant gas tank. I slipped $100 bill in his center console.
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We arrived home after midnight.
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Not the best time to move furniture, but when do we ever do anything the easy way?
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Did I mention the barn door (the free door my husband got at the dump) is a non standard size? The chairs got stuck 4 times. There may have been cursing, but at that point I was too tired to care.
We rolled in to bed about 1:30am…. and I thought the bad luck was over.
I was wrong.
To be continued….
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Because you can never have too many flowers….
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The weather is warming, the grass is greening and the danger of frost has passed… we hope. (I live in Maine, it can snow on Memorial Day) So now it’s time for blooms!
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There’s nothing I love more than going greenhouse shopping. Being surrounded by bright flowering plants probably drops my blood pressure by 20 points. It also drops my bank balance considerably, but we won’t talk about that.
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I came home with this interesting shrub.
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A weigela florida. Fingers crossed it does well in the spot I picked.
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Two boxes of pretties for my front garden bed…
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Which turns out wasn’t nearly enough. Damn, I’ll have to go shopping again.
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A hanging geranium for the back deck… and for Lord Dudley to stare at. That’s him in the window directly behind it.. plotting revenge on me for keeping him in the house.
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And finally, a bouquet for the kitchen.
Flowers. They always make me smile.
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Well, almost always.
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Random clutter
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Question: Does Lord Dudley Mountcatten need to travel around the block like a little astronaut?
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Answer: He most definitely does not.
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Jesus wept. Somewhere, someone thought this was a good idea.
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Albino broccoli? I can see that….
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I’m over the abundance of rude license plates you see on the roads these days. They’re not funny, just rude.
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You know you haven’t been drinking enough barn cocktails when you reach for some fruit… but find you could harvest penicillin instead.
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I think identifying these as “American” is overkill.
As if any other country would do this….
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A small collection of nonsense.
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I saw this at Goodwill last week… and it made me wonder how many women in the 60’s stuck their face in a cone for the sake of beauty.
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The ridiculous cat products are still popping up on my Facebook feed.
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Saw this license plate and thought…. why would anyone want to be BoBo?
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For anyone who doesn’t remember….
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BoBo was a blow up punching bag…. and part of a groundbreaking study about learned aggressive behavior.
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And if ridiculous cat products aren’t ridiculous enough? This abomination popped up on my Facebook feed the other day.
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And I seriously don’t want to know what algorithm triggered that!
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In retrospect, not a good idea.
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We have a raccoon who visits nightly. And while he’s a cute, pudgy old fellow… he’s extremely destructive when it comes to our birds feeders. Every morning we wake up to one or two on the ground, often in pieces. A month ago I started taking them down at dusk and putting them in the garage overnight. When I went to bed early last week and forgot? The husband got lazy and left them on the kitchen porch.
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Not a good idea.
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Not at all good.
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River's world..... 