All posts by Rivergirl

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Covid humor.

 

Because wouldn’t you rather laugh?

 

 

There.

That puts things in perspective.

 

 

Yes.

For quite a bit longer by the looks of things.

 

 

Don’t you just hate when that happens?

 

 

Hell, in Maine…. it already does.

 

 

Good rule.

 

 

Most definitely.

Grocery stores have become the new I-95. Wrong way dumb asses, rubberneckers, and the road police who do 25 miles under the posted speed limit.

Move aside people….

River needs double fudge brownie mix. And tequila.

 

 

A fitting finale.

WTF indeed.

The little bastards.

 

It’s not like I don’t welcome and feed all our visiting critters enough of a variety.

Three types of bird seed, suet, strawberries, peanut nuggets, oranges, grape jelly, blueberries, nectar, deer grain, salad scraps, old bread, apples and pears…

Christ, I even buy special dog food with taurine for the foxes.

And we don’t have a dog!

So yes, I was a little peeved when I went to sit on the barn porch the other day..

 

 

And saw that one of them had done this –

 

 

And this –

 

 

As well as this –

 

 

On every single seat cushion.

Ungrateful little bastards!

Do you ever feel like you’re being watched?

 

On a late afternoon trip to Home Depot for baby barn supplies….and okay, maybe a plant or two…. we were desperately hungry and hit the McDonalds drive thru.

If you know how much we hate McDonalds, you’ll know how desperately hungry we were.

 

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Geranium perched between my legs, we scarfed down the  (is this supposed to be edible?)  food.

And while we were doing that?

 

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They gathered.

 

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One  by one, on both sides… as well as in the front and the back.

Not wanting to re-create a Tippi Hendren phone booth scene, we ate quickly and fled.

It’s a simple concept.

 

Trips to the grocery store are so much more interesting these days.

And by interesting, I mean annoying A.F.

Take for example… the ample directional signage.

 

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Since I am a fully functioning literate adult, I read this and my brain processes the instruction quite quickly.

For those unlucky souls who don’t possess my lightning quick reasoning? There was also this helpful accompaniment.

 

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Pretty straight forward, right?

Then why…. on every single aisle I traversed…. did I have to dodge customers coming straight at me? Many without the facial covering the store… and now this particular town…. requires.

Regardless whether you’re on board with the whole mask, social distancing, 6 feet apart regime…. it’s this grocery store’s policy and they’re doing it to try and keep you safe. You don’t have to shop there, but if you do? Please pay attention… and study those pesky one syllable directions.

I’d hate to inadvertently (on purpose) stick my foot out as you pass by.

 

 

And we’re back.

 

Baby barn work commences…. again.

And I have to ask – are we the only ones who take a year to remodel what is in essence a small shed?

On second thought, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.

 

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So we’ve moved around to the back half to finish our utterly favorite part…..and by that I mean the hellish nightmare that is angled trim work. I believe we’ve established we suck at this and not wanting to break tradition, we still do.

 

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How badly do we suck?

I’m glad you asked.

 

 

Badly enough to require shaving corners with less than modern tools if you’re my other half.

 

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What….

You mean 1940’s saws aren’t still viable members of the tool arsenal?

 

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Yes, that’s always my reaction as well….

But the husband says it still has life left in it.

 

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Corners were turned…

 

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Though not all of them where they should be…

As the poppa barn ( who’s still screaming for paint and agrees with River how wonderful he would look in a nice rusty red with white trim ) looked on in horror.

 

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To be continued.

 

 

So tell me, is this really necessary?

 

 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had any trouble finding the toilet at 3:00am and certainly don’t need it to glow neon blue like some freaky interplanetary transport system.

 

Rotating fluorescent colors?

Hell… if I want a rave, I can think of better locations than my bathroom.

 

 

Cleaning isn’t a problem?

The scrubbing bubbles may disagree.

 

Nailed it.

 

While adults are complaining about being shuttered at home with spouses….

 

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And wondering if their favorite bar stool at the local pub is lonely with out them…

(okay, that might just be me)

 

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The little people are suffering too.

No school, no play dates, no adventures.

The grand daughter of our heart is getting a kick out of receiving snail mail so along with cards to let her know we’re thinking of her….. I send a small gift now and then as well.

 

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First was a cute little upside down teddy bear drinking glass.

But I think the second one was a bigger hit.

 

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Yup.

Nailed it.

It finally happened.

 

I swear I’ve cooked more meals in the last two months than I have in the previous six.

Virus quarantining means a lack of many things, but around here? A full plate isn’t one of them.

I never used to cook or eat breakfast. Now it’s blueberry banana pancakes and thick cut bacon.

I used to eat a light lunch. Now it’s cream of turkey and wild rice soup, a chicken Caesar wrap and a chocolate chip cannoli.

Four nights a week we used to have salad. Now it’s more likely to be a pot roast dinner with all the fixings.

 

 

We may not do much else, but damn it… we eat.

Which means I’m getting tired of cooking and craving some decent take out.

Our last two attempts were abysmal failures but we finally got lucky at a little local restaurant in the next town I never paid much attention to before.

 

 

Delectable, juicy, and dripping with sauce… these sweet and spicy Thai wings were pure ambrosia. I admit to sharing with the husband…. but only grudgingly.

 

 

There was also a stellar pizza called the Mainer. Garlic butter brushed crust with Italian sausage, bacon, onion, peppers, mushroom and olives.

I was thrilled.

I was ecstatic.

I may have drooled.

So yes, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say we’ll probably be repeating the process.