Category Archives: Uncategorized

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I think she missed the class on burying.

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Little dried pieces of fruit have been appearing in strange places around our house as of late.

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On the railings, the steps, at the edge of the gutters. And for a while I just thought the birds bit off more than they could chew. (Do birds chew?)

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But then there she was. Scurrying around the back deck with fruit in her mouth looking for a place to bury her treasure for future consumption.

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I think she must have missed that class at squirrel university.

What a dumb ass.

And speaking of squirrels? While the husband and I decided to take a pass on gifts this Valentines Day… I have to admit he won the card contest hands down.

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It’s perfect.

🤣

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Uncategorized

Gulp… the finale.

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Yes dear readers, our time exploring the digestive track is coming to a close and I only have a few more pearls of wisdom to share.

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Far be it for me to judge how you prefer your intoxicants to be delivered, but if it’s alright with you I’ll consume my Appletini the traditional way… precariously perched on a bar stool.

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Not being Catholic I was unaware rectal consumption was a topic that kept the Pope up at night, but I’m happy to pass along a helpful cheating technique to get you through the hunger pangs of Lent all the same.

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I’m going to leave you with that titillating teaser about the King’s actual cause of death in hopes it will have you running to your nearest library and requesting a copy of this highly educational and entertaining book.

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Thank you. Thank you very much…

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Uncategorized

Bombarded by poo.

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In the continuing saga of my immersion into the myriad world of excrement, my television has now jumped on board.

Geesh… you review one book, write a few posts about the digestive tract and suddenly your world is filled with doo doo.

Poo on my FB reader.

Poo on my news feed.

Now?

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My DVR recorded the latest episode of Nova and of course, it’s all about poo.

Thankfully there was a segment of the program devoted to my beloved wombat and his delightfully cubed shaped dung so it wasn’t a total loss.

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I mean really, what’s cuter than that?

But cuddly wombat aside, it does make me wonder where the next batch of excrement will pop up in my life.

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I certainly hope not. But at this point it wouldn’t surprise me..

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News you can’t use.

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Let’s take a peek at the recent headlines on my news feed, shall we?

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Not just no, but Hell no. There’s a long list of things I refuse to do naked and hiking is in the top ten.

Can you say poison ivy?

😳

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Is there a french fry shortage in the United States? Why was I not informed!

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Pay $54.92 to take a selfie on the Iron Throne? You betcha!

Sign me up.

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Viola! the cure for what ails you. To heck with Alexander Fleming, Dr. River prescribes three or four of these….and don’t call me in the morning. Not that you’ll be able to anyway.

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Cheers to your good health!

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Random snippets.

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Our neighbors. The larger horse is an absolute bully and follows closely behind the pony nipping his butt all day long.

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I keep rooting for the little guy to give him a good swift kick, but clearly he’s a pacifist.

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A recently purchased tee shirt. I can never resist a funny brewery slogan, but when I researched this one I discovered it just sells equipment. No matter, it’s still beer related.

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The look your cat gives you when you don’t share your chicken salad sandwich.

Sorry Dudley, it had onions. I couldn’t.

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Since turning 50? This is the story of my life.

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Not as much fun as it used to be.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten used to love going outside. I’d say “walkies” in my best falsetto and he’d bound into the room anxiously awaiting the harness and leash. Now that full Maine winter has arrived?

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He’s still anxious to go out, but not so thrilled with staying there.

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And looks at us as if to say, “My feet are cold. What the hell?”

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And makes a bee line back to the nice warm couch.

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Uncategorized

Gulp… Part 6.

14 Comments

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In which we discuss gas.

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Admit it, you’ve known people who could power your stove, no problem.

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but the rectum is not a place from which one wishes to launch a torpedo.

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Vancouver, Washington? Take a bow. You were once the prune capitol of the world! And though I found that photo of the Prunarians, it was rather boring…. So I’m including this one instead.

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If ever a face screamed Queen of Prunes? It was Miss Pierce’s.

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It’s good to know NASA doesn’t just spend billions on rockets and shuttles. A fart proof space suit? That’s surely worth its weight in gold.

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