Why it’s important to thoroughly read descriptions.

January 10, 2021 Rivergirl 29 Comments

I’m an avid reader, some might say voracious. I never feel complete until I’m knee deep in a good book and if I don’t have a stack of at least 10 ready to go? I get twitchy.

Needless to say I live on Amazon and worship their Prime 2 day delivery. (If you mention the word Kindle? You’re dead to me. Reading is, and always will be, a tactile pleasure. Period.)

About a week ago I did the unthinkable and ran through my unread pile in record time leaving me with *gasp!* only one book unread.

So just as I logged on to cruise the new releases, the husband started hollering at me to go help him with something in the barn. Rushing, I made a few quick picks because bookless is something I can not be. Without fully reading descriptions or reviews, I picked this one about a food critic because it had 4 out of 5 stars.

Well… technically it is about a food critic. But after sampling an exquisite torta ai fichi e limone, she has raunchy, not to mention quite descriptive, sex with her lover… kills him… and then harvests his tongue to cook and savor later.

Yes. She’s a sexually insatiable Hannibal Lecter.

*Note to self- always read descriptions and reviews*

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Do you look like your cat?

January 10, 2021 Rivergirl 26 Comments

Whoever dreamed up this card game is a genius.

Apparently it’s some kind of memory game…

But that doesn’t matter.

Because even though I’ll never play it?

I adore it!

I mean really…

How can you not?

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How seriously does my husband take feeding the birds?

January 9, 2021 Rivergirl 23 Comments

So seriously, that after filling the feeders and scattering seed on the ground for the cardinals during a snow storm?

He repeatedly chased off the interlopers.

And threw bare handed snowballs at them to boot.

He even followed them down the hill to the woods to make sure they were gone.

Did I mention it was a little cold that day? Well, it was.

And just so you know?

This was the third of five hasty retreats the turkeys beat, only to come back and nosh happily on spilled seed when my husband gave up. (And no, I didn’t tell him.)

Turkeys – 1.

Husband – 0.

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Weirdo products? I’m your girl.

January 9, 2021 Rivergirl 28 Comments

With a title like that, you know I’m all in.

I seriously need this in my life.

Migraines shmigraines. I need this for menopausal hot flashes.

Come on… who doesn’t want a pickle topped bottle of Cabernet?

This isn’t weird…. it’s bloody genius.

I can think of of least 5 people who deserve the gift of a dirt candle.

Yes, they’ll scrub your pan clean of yesterday’s omelette, but imagine the joy of using these babies as back scratchers. Heaven.

I’m not sure I need monthly reminding, but positive reinforcement is good for the soul.

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Global Mickey D’s.

January 8, 2021 Rivergirl 27 Comments

While I’m not a fan of what passes for food at McDonalds, I did get a kick out of a list of their international menu items.

A mac and cheese burger? I’m not sure whether to be delighted… or horrified.

I guess this saves a step somehow, but I’m not overly impressed.

Um, no.

Cheese definitely equals happiness in my book.

I don’t know about you, but porridge isn’t my go to choice when ordering fast food.

But clearly, the world and I disagree.

McPorridge.

Who knew?

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It’s like the blue or gold dress all over again.

January 8, 2021 Rivergirl 23 Comments

* Disclaimer – a mistake was made in scheduling. This post should have been viewed before yesterday’s, so please forget you saw that one. My bad. *

Our (magical, never to be caught actually working, might be an elf) contractor was by the other day to put the first coat of stain on our bar top.

So while the husband and I were checking progress, I took pictures.

And it wasn’t until I started posting them that I realized the damn thing appeared to be 2 different colors.

At first I thought it was a matter of angles and shadows but the picture above and below this text are basically the same, just taken 12 minutes apart.

And I swear I didn’t alter the hue or color on my phone.

I have no explanation. Although now that I think about it, this might be a fun bar game after a few toddies.

Just for the fun of it I placed a few fronting pieces to get an idea what the finished product would look like.

And I think while not a perfect match to the chairs we ordered…

It might be close enough.

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Did you know….?

January 7, 2021 Rivergirl 16 Comments

It’s true, I do.

Did you know…

Russian men who wore beards during the reign of Peter of the Great were required to pay a special tax?

For his sake, I hope the rate was per beard and not per hair.

Did you know…

John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles?

I feel like I should comment on that, but it would probably go south quickly so I’ll refrain.

Did you know…

Reindeer have glands between their toes? They leave scent trails for the herd to follow and, wait for it –

It smells like cheese.

I don’t know about reindeer, but I’d follow the scent of cheese anywhere.

Did you know…

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain?

Sorry big guy, but yes. It’s true.

Did you know….

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great historical king. Spades – King David. Clubs – Alexander the Great. Hearts – Charlemagne. Diamonds – Julius Caesar.

Did you know…

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the most difficult tongue twister is :

The sixth sick Sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.

That didn’t look so hard, until I tried to say it a few times.

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Things are moving quickly in the Barn Mahal.

January 7, 2021 Rivergirl 34 Comments

After waiting a month and a half for construction to start…

Our rarely seen contractor is really picking up the pace. I’m starting to think he might be an elf, as we never actually catch him working.

All the facing boards and bottom moulding are in place…

And it won’t be long before we’re bellying up for our inaugural beverage. Ironically right after we discovered the new updates a friend and his son showed up to check the progress.