Tag Archives: humor

I beg to differ Oprah.

 

Flipping through O magazine the other day  (I get it free, don’t judge)  I realized Oprah and I disagree about a few things.

Most importantly, her list of must have items.

She might find these necessary and affordable, but I don’t.

 

 

Seriously? Bragging about your house manager Eddie and his cocktail mixing prowess is bad form. Especially when we peons are occasionally forced to drink cocktails from can.

Let’s forget the revolting sounding ‘flavor capsule’….  why in the world would I pay $350 to have a machine mix my drink.

My local pub’s bartender does a fine job and he never expects that big a tip.

 

 

$70 for a bottle.

To put alcohol and fruit in.

Call me classy, but a mason jar works just as well for a lot less.

 

 

Good grief.

$195 so my selfies can be better lighted?

I’m 55 and menopausal. No one wants to see that any more clearly than they already have.

Oprah redeemed herself slightly with this last pick.

It’s been a while since I shopped at Talbots, but I could probably rock a pair of these.

 

 

Cheers!

Momma squirrel has not forgotten.

 

While relaxing on the barn porch the other afternoon…..

 

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Our peace and quiet was disturbed by one very perturbed rodent.

 

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Momma squirrel was back and chattering up a storm.

She was scrambling up and down the posts.

 

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Running back and forth along the eaves.

 

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And most definitely making her presence known.

Her memory is long.

And apparently all has not been forgiven.

They do come in threes.

 

First my husband wanted to clean out the barn.

Then he planted some trees.

And if those two things weren’t miraculous enough? I woke up the other morning to this:

 

 

The husband, behind the baby barn.. with a pick axe.

 

 

Rototilling some dirt the old fashioned way.

 

 

I couldn’t believe it was happening.

 

 

But he was finally willing to do something with the giant patch of weeds he wouldn’t let me turn into a garden bed.

 

 

He turned the soil over.

He raked it.

He even *gasp!* spread grass seed.

 

 

I couldn’t believe it.

 

 

Then he pulled this out…

 

 

And I could.

 

 

No new fangled high tech sprinkler for my husband. No sir.

Not when one from the middle of the last century he bought at a yard sale for a quarter is available.

 

 

Did it work?

Well, not quite.

 

 

The twirling sprinkler didn’t twirl…. but the husband was not deterred.

 

 

He twirled it manually with the rake handle while I tried (unsuccessfully) not to laugh.

But the biggest miracle of all?

 

 

Was his sacred pile of dirt.

That weed encrusted dirt pile has been an eyesore for almost 5 years. I was forbidden to touch it because, it’s dirt.

He might need it one day.

 

 

But…

 

 

He dug into it….

 

 

Leveled it flat and spread grass seed.

 

 

Though he did switch to my more modern hose attachment for the final watering.

So there you have it. Proof positive miracles do happen.

And come in threes.

Products worth a second look.

 

 

 

Does anyone need a banana phone?

No.

But buy one and save a gorilla just the same.

 

 

 

A must for Star Wars fanatics.

Yes James,  I’m talking to you.

 

 

 

Cake.

On a stick.

Need I say more?

 

 

I’m not sure my bar game could possibly be more up, but bottles of gin are definitely my favorite DIY.

 

 

While I take umbrage at the horrible people designation (I’ve always thought of myself as just slightly awful) this is one seriously  bawdy, provocative, risqué  fun party game.

Does it surprise you to know I have all 6 expansion packs?

 

 

It shouldn’t.

So if you like  raunchy, crude, earthy  blue humor?

Give it a try.

Ducks

 

I have no idea why we have a pair of visiting Mallard ducks this year…

 

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But like all the other critters who venture in….. they’re welcome.

 

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Though the drake’s table manners leave a little to be desired.

 

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Is standing in the dish of deer grain really necessary?

 

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Other times he’s a bit like Caligula.

 

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And eats lying down.

 

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Ducks.

I hope they remember how nice we are to them.

 

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