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We have wild turkeys that visit our backyard bird feeders to scrounge what’s fallen on the ground.

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We’ve had flocks for decades and it’s never been an issue. They’re goofy…. and honestly, I find them quite comical to watch. But this past year, in which my husband has been home 24/7 hogging all the bandwidth teleworking… he’s taken an interest in feeding the birds.

The man who used to complain I bought too much seed and spent too much money on suet nuggets now glares at me if the 50lb pound bag falls below a quarter. And since he gets up at an unfathomable time of the morning ( pre sunrise people… WTF? ) he’s usually the first one out the door to fill the feeders.

If the turkeys visit in the spring, summer or fall? Fine. But in the winter their prodigious piles of poo land on snow and ice which is not nearly as absorbent as dirt and well…. let’s just say Tiny Tim isn’t going to be singing about tiptoeing through that anytime soon.

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Hence the never ending battle my extremely stubborn husband wages on a daily basis.

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This will go on for hours.

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Even when he’s on the phone for work dealing with a man in violation of FAA regulations.

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He chases them, they run to the edge of the property line and wait for him to go back in the house, they return, he chases them…etc, etc, etc.

If you think you’ve never met anyone more stubborn than a retired Marine? You’ve never met a Maine wild turkey.

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The funniest part of his new hobby? As soon as he gives up and goes back in the office….

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The turkeys call in reinforcements and descend en masse. He chased a dozen…. 26 came back.

And so it goes.

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