Tag Archives: maine

Because everyone wants pizza.

 

The husband stopped for gas the other day in his truck. Since I wasn’t with him, he opted for a little haute cuisine a la convenience store.

Pizza slices in hand…. he settled into the truck cab to munch.

And then?

This:

 

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A seagull spotted him. ( Or more likely his pizza )

 

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Husband said the silly thing squawked up a storm, pacing back and forth on the hood.

 

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When that didn’t earn him any pizza, he attacked the windshield wipers.

Husband said it was such a spectacle, people were taking pictures and one woman asked if she could put it on Facebook.

So if you see a retired Marine in a black Ford truck looking  like Tippi Hendren on your news feed?

That’s my man.

 

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And his new seagull friend.

I hate to report this….

 

But the ever dwindling woodchuck family is now down to three.

 

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Momma chuck and two children.

 

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The sextuplets are now twins.

 

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And even more outnumbered by the starlings than ever.

 

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But they’re growing quickly and packing on the pounds for winter.

 

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So much so, it’s getting hard to distinguish them from their mother.

 

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Until…

 

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She stands up.

 

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No doubt about it then.

 

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Does anyone know where I can get a woodchuck girdle?

Asking for a friend.

I don’t know much about guns…

 

But this seemed like a weirdo even to me.

 

 

The husband is always picking up old magazines and articles about days gone by… probably in a vain attempt to identify the piles of crap he collects.

I don’t usually read them but hey, there’s a global pandemic and I tend to twitch if I run out of books.

 

 

Like I said, I don’t know much about guns..

 

 

But this does seem a trifle excessive.

They’re not worthy.

 

Not worthy of a blog of their own, but random interesting stuff all the same.

(And by interesting, you know I mean not at all interesting… just random information you didn’t want nor need but I feel compelled to share anyway)

 

 

I read a lot…. and before now have never thought of myself as any of these.

But from now on?

I’m an ink drinker all the way.

 

 

Yes, I bought myself a frying pan that’s reinforced by diamonds.

Because my fried chicken deserves the very best.

 

 

My rose is blooming like a lolly pop.

 

 

Is this earth shattering news you can use?

No.

But nothing I say ever is.

 

 

This claims to be the perfect Cosmopolitan recipe.

I shall research it extensively and report back.

 

 

Sadly, we had to shop for 2 headstones for recently passed members of my husband’s family.

After we picked the size of the stone, and the color of the granite….this was what we were given. Sheets of paper with literally thousands of designs that were printed so small, even reading glasses and a magnifying glass barely helped us make them out.

I believe the husband chose a lighthouse for one…. but it could as easily have been a beer keg.

Time will tell.

 

 

Danger Will Robinson!

If you’ve never experienced a browntail moth rash you haven’t lived a full life. Imagine mixing poison ivy with fire ants and chicken pox…. and you might come close.

These little bastards have moved into Maine and are stripping our trees bare. And if you happen to brush up against one of them? Hang on, because you’ll attempt to rip the skin off your bones within 12 hours. Nothing stops the itch except a spray that comes in a one ounce bottle sold by one hospital in the state for $65 per. Insurance won’t cover it and you need a doctor’s prescription to purchase it.

I get the rash at least 3 times a year.

Good times.

And finally, if you’ve been wondering what people are doing to keep busy during the pandemic… or how they’re spending their stimulus money?

Wonder no longer.

 

Bambi!!

 

We had our first little guy sighting of the season the other day.

 

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And oh my goodness….

 

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If that isn’t the definition of the word sweet I’ll eat a kale souffle.

 

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The family kept a close huddle on the food.

 

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But Junior managed to push his/her way into the fray.

 

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I think I might have audibly squeaked in joy at that point.

 

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Bambi!

 

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We knew some of the does were pregnant, but they won’t bring the fawns up out of the woods for the first few months.

 

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And even then it’s usually very early in the morning when yours truly is still in dreamland.

 

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So it was wonderful to see them in the late late afternoon when the sun was still shining and providing light for pictures.

 

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Welcome to the herd little one.

 

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You’ll want to stick around, the crazy lady with the camera lays out a pretty nice buffet.

 

 

 

 

It’s not easy being a deer.

 

This is the time of year my heart goes out to these graceful wild creatures.

Because in Maine?

 

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It’s fly season.

 

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And there’s nothing flies like more than a juicy deer.

 

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The poor things are covered in them.

 

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Day and night, night and day.

 

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All over their bodies.

They twitch, they scratch, they shake like a Parkinson’s patient to no avail.

 

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I can’t even imagine how horrible this must be.

I go berserk if one nasty fly finds me when I’m mowing the lawn…. I’d be stark raving mad if I had to contend with this many!

I’m ready for my close up…..

 

Okay, I admit it.

 

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The little  rat bastards  fellows are cute.

 

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Sitting on the railing….

 

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With vibrant day lilies blooming in the background…..

 

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Voguing for the camera like some fur covered super model.

 

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Though I highly doubt Naomi Campbell ever pooped on her runway.

 

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Cute, yes…

 

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But you’re still a giant pain in my ass!

 

 

Critter central.

 

Woodchucks are still being tormented by starlings.

 

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And are sometimes drastically outnumbered.

 

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Deer and fox happily dine together.

 

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Squirrel keeps an eye on deer.

 

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But calls in back up.

 

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Until another fox shows up.

 

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Who is so chill he lays down and eats like a Roman.

 

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How chill?

He even smiles for the camera.

 

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Deer, fox and squirrels depart, woodchucks return.

 

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It’s the circle of life.

Otherwise known as an average afternoon in our backyard.

*note – these pictures were taken before the drought turned our lawn a lovely shade of brown*

I love my town!

 

Where else can you go shopping and be greeted by a chicken?

 

 

Although what this poor devil did to be locked up in a rubber prison I don’t know.

 

 

Where else can you go to find a library that sets up a walking story time for kids?

 

 

Where else can you get alerts about runaway goats?

 

 

And offers of free hay?

 

 

The same place that airs their poopy grievances on Facebook, that’s where.

 

 

I love my town!!