Tag Archives: people

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A Newport stroll, a bizarre meet and greet with genuflecting … and a harbor sunset.

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After a day of exploring, we returned to the resort to refresh… and then headed out for an early evening stroll on Thames Street. ( locally pronounced th-aims which drove me crazy)

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Ducking down a waterfront side street brought us to a dock that let us view our condo from afar.

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Top arrow is our condo.

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Bottom arrow is our hungry seagull. Clearly waiting for us to return with a snack.

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There are some beautiful old buildings in Newport.

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And if there’s empty ground in front of them? There’s a bar.

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You might remember this shop from my last trip when we drove by and laughed.

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This time we went inside and laughed.

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And bought a souvenir t shirt.

For me.

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This store was inexplicably outfitted in fake lemons.

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This 1700’’s home was a tad more discreet.

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There was an oyster festival in progress on one of the wharfs… and as we were walking by an interesting fellow started a conversation with my spouse.

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As you know, my guy loves to talk. So when someone says thank you for your service, we’re off.

Of course this conversation was a bit different as the guy who initiated it was… shall we say… under the influence of more than one substance. He kept telling my husband he’d seen things, he’d lived, he knew. It was hard to follow his train of thought because he was all over the place. Religion, politics, otherworldly adventures… it was a tad bizarre. But just when I was ready to write him off as a total kook? He said something that made perfect sense.

He turned to me, said I was a queen who must be revered and told my husband to acquiesce to me in all things. Then he genuflected in front of me, got down on both knees, bowed… and squeezed my shoes.

So, yeah.

He was totally sane.

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People.

Ya gotta love ‘em.

Moving on, the husband was hungry and I wasn’t so we ducked into an unassuming mom and pop pizza place across from our resort so he could nosh. The restaurant didn’t look like much, but the spaghetti with meatballs was some of the best he’d ever had.

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Amazing sauce, huge meatballs, baked with mozzarella and fresh basil in a massive bowl. The husband was a happy camper.

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Back at the condo we sat on the balcony with adult beverages.

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And watched the sun set on Newport harbor.

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It was a good day.

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Though the husband wasn’t nearly as reverential as my queenly status demands.

🤣

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Stray thoughts….

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#1. We’re spending Thanksgiving Day with friends this year and along with my luscious crabmeat toasty appetizers and a cappuccino mousse trifle dessert, I was asked to bring… are you sitting down?

Green bean casserole. 🤢

While I’ve been known to make that abomination (for certain spouses who shall remain nameless) I can’t say I’m a fan. So I searched high and low for a recipe that would make it more palatable.

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I found one for the crock pot that sounded much better than the original. Fresh beans, fresh mushrooms, heavy cream, fresh garlic and thyme etc.

It was a bit of a pain to make and littered my kitchen with dirty dishes… but thankfully I did a dry run a few days ago before I served it to the group.

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Sadly, the trash can was the only appropriate place for it. Blech! How something so promising could taste so horrible is beyond me.

I shall now be making the original bowl of slop that everyone expects.

Clearly it can’t be improved.

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#2. I heard that Paul Rudd had been voted Sexiest Man Alive in People magazine. I can’t say I agree, but I won’t argue with this logic:

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#3. I believe I have officially reached the point of no return on the less than graceful decline into old age. I know this because the only way I can remember to add a song to my iPod is to take a picture of my car radio when it’s playing.

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And yes, I said iPod.

Told you I was old.

🤣

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Pandemic humor.

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Because I’m still here and still trying to find the humor in it.

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I remember climbing over seats into the back of our station wagon and sticking my feet out the rear window while my parents barreled down the Jersey Turnpike to the shore. How the hell did any of us survive to adulthood?

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This is why we’re not traveling. People be morons.

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Now if someone could just tell me how I can apply Dizzy Izzy…. my life will be complete.

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Good grief, I hope not. That will seriously impede my martini consumption.

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Are you one of those people?

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You know the ones, they pick up every free paper or publication they see no matter the subject?

Proctologist Monthly?

Yes.

Belt Sander Enthusiast?

Sure.

The Do It Yourself Lobotomy Newsletter?

Why not.

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It probably won’t surprise my regular readers to learn my husband is one of those people.

Free is his favorite word.. which is why he came home with one called the Maine Agricultural News the other day.

My husband, the man who’s never planted anything (other than free trees he lets die) in his life.

Here are a few fascinating highlights:

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Color me proud. My state is one of the top 5 potato chip potato producers.

And lord knows I do my part to keep the Lays company in business.

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The Pomological Society? There’s a sought after membership if ever I saw one.

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For those who don’t know, Maine blueberries are highly prized and big business up this way.

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But thanks to President Trump’s Chinese trade war, among other things… the berry news is decidedly blue.

And finally, disaster.

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Say it isn’t so!

Maine craft brewers have cut back on the production of beer to make hand sanitizer?

Oh, the horror.

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Magazine chuckles.

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I have stacks and stacks of free magazines I have yet to read. ( If you’re interested let me know, I’ll hook you up.)

Here are a few articles that got my attention.

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Online reviews of our National Parks. Proof positive people are idiots.

Although it’s hard to argue with ‘a very very large hole’ for the Grand Canyon.

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Thank you, no.

A month ago they were pushing mermaid shampoo and that was bad enough.

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Avocado pudding?

I’d rather eat kale stuffed meatless meatballs.

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I think I’ve mentioned my hatred of dolls and all things doll like. But a museum filled with uber creepy antique ones?

Now that’s a blog worth writing.

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Llamapalooza?

I am so down with that!

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Kind of underwhelming?

We visited Plymouth last fall and saw this oh so famous rock.

Kind of is the understatement of the year.

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Pandemic humor.

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Go ahead, laugh.

It’s better than the alternative.

Have you ever wondered how it will feel when we eventually  (hopefully!)  get back to normal?

I’m not sure I ever want a stranger closer than 6 feet again.

This could be a real problem if Aunt Jemima products are going to disappear…

I totally need that mask.

Yeah, we kind of do.

Well that goes without saying.

Personally, I’d prefer 2 continents.

One day only!

Better hurry.

It’s all about priorities.

And finally for my horoscope loving readers….

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Pandemic humor.

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Because laughter is the only contagious thing I want to catch.

 

 

That sounds about right.

 

 

We didn’t.

We really didn’t….

 

 

I’m all for this.

As hard as lock down has been, there are some people I’ve been quite happy to avoid.

 

 

I could totally rock that look.

 

 

Yeah.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with the conspiracy theorists.

 

 

 

That’s so wrong.

 

 

Tight pants.

A pandemic symptom I can totally relate to.

Which brings me to the new anthem for the Covid age.

Sing it sister!

 

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Well that clears things up.

33 Comments

 

I’m shamefully reposting this from our town’s Facebook page because it captures the dynamic perfectly.

Want to find out who the idiots are in your community?

Join your town’s “Friends and Family” or local group page. The gossips, the curmudgeons, the do gooders, the righteously offended…. they’re all actively posting and making asses out of themselves on a regular basis.

Read on and tell me you don’t recognize a few of these people.

 

QUESTION:

How many Facebook group members does it take to change a light bulb?

ANSWER:

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.

6 to argue over whether it’s ‘lightbulb’ or ‘light bulb’.

Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being a***holes.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is ‘lamp’.

15 know-it-alls who claim that they were in the industry and that ‘light bulb’ is perfectly correct.

49 to post memes and GIFs (several are of Michael Jackson eating popcorn with the words added: “I’m just here for the comments.”)

19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.

11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.

24 to discuss the merits of LED/swirly fluorescent light bulbs

44 to claim LED and fluorescent bulbs will kill you.

12 to post the letter “F”.

8 to ask what F means.

7 to post ‘Following’ despite the 3 dots at the top right that mean you don’t have to.

3 to say “can’t share”.

2 to reply “can’t share from a closed group”.

36 people to post photos of their own light bulbs.

15 people to post “I can’t see S$%^!” and use their own light bulbs.

6 to report the post or privately message an admin/moderator because someone said “f÷×$”

4 to say “Didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”.

13 to say “Do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”.

1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that (insert politician of choice) isn’t the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.

50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.

3 to state sanctimoniously that this is supposed to be a friendly Facebook group and that all of this petty nonsense is a result of people abandoning courtesy.

5 admins to ban the posters who were insulting.

3 who come up with a conspiracy theory about light bulbs which either involves them catching Coronavirus or that they will fry their brains.

1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.

 

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