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A jellyfish martini glass?
Yes please!
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I may be speaking for myself, but a good Camembert does more for my soul than Jesus ever has.
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Why did I ever stop drinking lemon drops? A recent visit to our favorite restaurant found me sitting next to two women of a certain age, one of whom was celebrating a birthday. They were drinking lemon drop martinis, so I did as well. It’s all about solidarity.
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Best name for a spaghetti sauce, ever.
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Remember the rat who showed up and dug a tunnel to our wood shed. The one whose demise I sadly had to hasten? He’s been gone for quite some time now, but it seems another pesky rodent has taken over his ratty super highway.
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Yes. It’s her. The red bitch we’ve been evicting for the past year and a half.
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It shouldn’t surprise me.
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She’s a resourceful little witch.
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But it does make me wonder how she disposed of the previous tenant’s remains …
😳
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Why is it that technology designed to make our life easier always turns out to be a right royal pain in the as?
Yes, I typed ass… but autocorrect switched it to as. In addition to being annoying, my autocorrect is also a potty mouth censor. And fur the duration of this pist, I will be leaving the changes it makes to prove my point.
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That helps somewhat. To be honest, it’s the only reasonable explanation why every single time I type “for” it comes up fur.
And “post” is changed to pist. (Pist. That isn’t even a word! Which it damn well knows because every time it makes the switch the word comes up underlined. WTH?)
“Doesn’t” ? That’s changed to Durant. (Who is Durant? And why dues he keep wanting to appear in my pists?)
Dues! Geesh, that’s a brand new one. Clearly I have angered the autocorrect Gods.
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Yes, I know I can turn off the option in settings. But there’s a twisted part of me that’s stubborn enough to want to win the battle. If I disregard the changes often enough maybe, just maybe…that little drunken elf will sober up.
Too much to hope fur?
Probably. But hope springs external.
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I live in Maine and I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say we hate CMP. Central Maine Power is the primary electric company in my area and if you want to start a bar fight? Loudly state how much you admire them.
Prices rise on what seems to be a daily basis and every time a wombat sneezes in Australia? Our power is knocked out.
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This does not endear the company to the natives and the fact that everyone’s bill will be going up by 1/3rd starting in February… guarantees I’m going to be one very angry native.
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Of course CMP has sent extremely polite letters to all their customers stating it’s not their fault, that they only deliver the power and we should be mad at the suppliers instead. But the last bill I received looked a lot like this…
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So as far as I’m concerned CMP can suck it.
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P.S. Just received my new bill. It went from $216 to $324. As predicted, I am not happy.
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My girlfriend and I had a long overdue day of thrift store shopping recently. I’ve missed that. Good company, a nice lunch and of course, a few laughs.
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I know nothing about yoga and have never tried it but if you’re so inclined, please tell me…. are bubbles required?
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Because my behind is round enough without bubbles and puckers thank you very much.
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I always cruise Goodwill’s book section. Sadly along with every other damn thing lately, the prices have doubled. Books I used to buy for $3 are now $6-7. Still cheaper than buying new…. unless you’re this particular book of course. $7.98 new, $9.00 at Goodwill. Not much of a bargain there.
🥴
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Protein bars with attitude.
And then there’s this last treasure. I didn’t buy it because my kitchen is already crammed with dozens of cookbooks I never use.
But damn…
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It would have made a great gag gift someday.
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You may not need them, but after seeing this post…. I think we both know you’re going to want them.
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Hats.
For your bananas.
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Admit it. You’ve always wanted to slice a Viking into your morning cereal.
Am I ripe?
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You know your cat is spoiled when he gets lifted up to the window to watch the birds.
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Pint of beer my husband recently received at our local pub. I detest IPA’s, but beer is my juice of choice.
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Results of a horrible multi unit fire that displaced 10 people in our town. This is what the old farm used to look like in the 1800’s.
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By the following day a gofundme campaign had raised $14,000. For a town with a population of just over 700, I’d say we’re pretty generous folk.
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A mussel appetizer the husband ordered this week. I stopped counting at 38. Definitely get your money’s worth there.
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It’s true. He told me….
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This.
This is what happens when temperatures rise too quickly in what should be winter in Maine. All our lovely snow melts, freezes and melts again. We have a skating rink driveway and mini floods everywhere because the ground is still too cold to absorb the water.
This…. is a mess.
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Little dried pieces of fruit have been appearing in strange places around our house as of late.
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On the railings, the steps, at the edge of the gutters. And for a while I just thought the birds bit off more than they could chew. (Do birds chew?)
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But then there she was. Scurrying around the back deck with fruit in her mouth looking for a place to bury her treasure for future consumption.
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I think she must have missed that class at squirrel university.
What a dumb ass.
And speaking of squirrels? While the husband and I decided to take a pass on gifts this Valentines Day… I have to admit he won the card contest hands down.
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It’s perfect.
🤣
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Yes dear readers, our time exploring the digestive track is coming to a close and I only have a few more pearls of wisdom to share.
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Far be it for me to judge how you prefer your intoxicants to be delivered, but if it’s alright with you I’ll consume my Appletini the traditional way… precariously perched on a bar stool.
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Not being Catholic I was unaware rectal consumption was a topic that kept the Pope up at night, but I’m happy to pass along a helpful cheating technique to get you through the hunger pangs of Lent all the same.
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I’m going to leave you with that titillating teaser about the King’s actual cause of death in hopes it will have you running to your nearest library and requesting a copy of this highly educational and entertaining book.
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Thank you. Thank you very much…
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In the continuing saga of my immersion into the myriad world of excrement, my television has now jumped on board.
Geesh… you review one book, write a few posts about the digestive tract and suddenly your world is filled with doo doo.
Poo on my FB reader.
Poo on my news feed.
Now?
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My DVR recorded the latest episode of Nova and of course, it’s all about poo.
Thankfully there was a segment of the program devoted to my beloved wombat and his delightfully cubed shaped dung so it wasn’t a total loss.
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I mean really, what’s cuter than that?
But cuddly wombat aside, it does make me wonder where the next batch of excrement will pop up in my life.
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I certainly hope not. But at this point it wouldn’t surprise me..
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River's world..... 