Random crap.

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I was giving myself a pedicure the other day and Lord Dudley Mountcatten was fascinated.

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He did not however like my tools.

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When I got tired of picking it up off the floor? I quit.

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The next time I get a boo boo? I totally want to cover it with a bacon bandage.

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How hot has it been in Maine?

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Hot enough that even the turkeys are seeking shade.

And speaking of hot….

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Damn.

Now that’s hot.

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Strange things seen whilst shopping.

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I spent a long over due retail therapy day with my girlfriend recently. Of all the things I’ve missed over the past year, that ranks pretty high on the list. One of our stops was Goodwill, where I saw this:

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Here’s hoping they hire someone who knows how to spell this time.

Further down the road, I saw this oddly named store.

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And something tells me they’re not talking about the corned beef variety.

At TJMaxx I found this disturbing product.

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No need to wash that blouse you’ve worn 27 times. Just give it a little spritz and be on your malodorous way.

🤢

Halfway through our shopping extravaganza… it was time for lunch. This is normally not a problem since South Portland has a plethora of restaurants. But since no one wants to go back to work, every single place we tried was understaffed and had an hour long wait. With a groan of desperation, we ended up at Red Robin where I spotted a most unappetizing burger on the menu.

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#1. Putting a burger between two pieces of greenery does not magically transform lettuce into a bun. Just, no.

And more importantly –

#2. Do not name your abomination of a burger ‘The Wedgie’. Creeping underwear issues do not make my mouth water.

(And if they make you salivate? Please exit my blog and don’t come back.)

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And we’re walking….

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Our second stroll with Lord Dudley Mountcatten happened yesterday….

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And while attaching the harness was still as enjoyable as wrestling a moray eel….

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His Highness didn’t seem quite so angry this time around.

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Of course that didn’t mean he cooperated. Walking a cat is more challenging than you might think.

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To be honest, there’s not a whole lotta walking going on.

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But at least his Lordship got some fresh air.

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Let’s play.

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You know I’m never going to run out of these … right?

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Let’s see what my phone thinks I am.

I’m a little bit disturbing.

Well, I can’t argue with that.

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I’m a good bit too short.

At barely 5’4, I can’t argue with that either.

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I’m a little guy in the backyard.

Now it’s confusing me with the woodchucks so I’ll quit while I’m ahead.

What does your phone think you are…?

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If ya can’t beat ’em….

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And it’s clear from the hundreds of dollars I’ve spent on deterrents… I can’t.

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Yeah, I gave you a chance…. and they ate right through you.

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You might as well join them.

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Or rather feed them your fruit and salad scraps in the hopes they’ll leave your flowers alone.

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Watermelon was a huge hit. They positively inhaled that.

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But honestly, would it kill them to wipe off the scowl off their faces and maybe shoot me a grin now and then? I think it’s the least they could do.

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Random drivel.

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I don’t usually pay attention to the Facebook memories section, but this one from an old blog friend popped up the other day and I had to laugh.

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It really does.

🤣

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That sounds simple and delicious.

If you try it before me? Let me know.

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And for Brian at http://brianlageose.blog

Because we were chatting a while back about the ridiculous old station wagons we had to drive as teenagers. Here’s my husband and I posing in front of my parent’s ‘62 Ford Falcon.

Complete with wood on the side… because we stylin’.

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If you look closely you’ll see the entire passenger side is crumpled from me side swiping a telephone pole when I was 16.

Oops.

This baby had a top speed of 51mph by the time I got her…. complete with vacuum wipers, a manual choke, and AM radio. I was the envy of exactly (count ‘em) none of my friends.

Please don’t judge the head to toe stone washed denim… it was the late 80’s. We had to.

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Finally, here’s Lord Dudley…

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In typical goober mode.

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He should, but thank God he can’t.

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Running away from home?

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten has discovered the back of the den couch.

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And an event of this magnitude must be documented by taking numerous photographs.

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From various angles and distance ranges.

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Chill Dudley…. it’s the price you pay for living here.

But the real reason for this drivel filled post?

My succulent ….

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Who is clearly trying to run away from home.

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And after all I’ve done for him.

Very disappointing.

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