Tag Archives: education

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You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

April 16, 2019 Rivergirl 39 Comments

I was cleaning out my desk the other day and found an old brochure for Adult Education.

Then I remembered I’d started a series on some of the more interesting classes when I first started blogging here…

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

Yes, you can learn some weird things in Maine.

So let’s continue….

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Good.

I’m glad someone is.

Today’s class?

Mindfulness.

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O-kay.

The definition?

1. the quality or state of being conscious

So let me get this straight…

For $95, and over the course of 6 weeks, they’re going to teach me to be conscious?

To be honest, that’s not usually something I have a problem with…. unless I’ve had too much to drink.

And as I read the class description I kept picturing this:

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But for the hell of it, I tried practicing being in the moment…

And it didn’t seem too difficult.

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And I figured…

I got this.

Who needs a class?

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Yeah.

It didn’t work.

But that’s okay, I’d much rather buy $95 worth of Girl Scout Cookies anyway…..

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Even better than rocks…

April 10, 2019 Rivergirl 40 Comments

I’ve been known to give some interesting birthdays gifts in my time.

Some elicit laughter, some tears….

Some? Downright befuddlement.

It’s all good.

In the past few years, I’ve gifted my husband with experiences as well as tangible items.

2014 was a beer making lesson.

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Friends and family joined us for what I thought would be a laugh a minute celebration…

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Ah, look at those happy faces.

(Word of warning – if you’re thinking about trying it? There’s a lot more to beer than drinking. And I don’t recommend any of it.)

Beer drinking? Fun!

Beer making?

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Not so much.

It’s a long involved process…. that I completely stopped caring about two hours in.

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Poor husband.

Look at him… he had his tasting glass ready and it wasn’t anywhere near finished.

Birthday experience gift rating on a scale of 1 to 10?

Last year I nailed it with a School of Falconry class.

This was fabulous and we both enjoyed it immensely.

Husband got up close and personal with a Harris Hawk and a Peregrine Falcon.

And they were both beautiful creatures.

Learning to handle them can be challenging.

As well as a little intimidating.

Of course, they were nothing compared to the instructor.

She was downright terrifying.

(I think the husband had flashbacks to boot camp and reverted to a quivering PFC before my eyes.)

But baggie of dead quails aside?

An awesome day.

Birthday experience gift rating?

A definite 10!

So this year, along with the rock and other assorted presents…

I gave him a helicopter.

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Okay, calm down.

Those babies go for $425,000.

I gave him the experience of learning how to fly a helicopter.

Half an hour class instruction, half an hour flying time with 2 guests.

I’m not sure when we’ll do it, most likely after the weather warms up.

But I’m guessing it’s going to be a good one!

Assuming we don’t die in a flaming fireball of a crash…

That’s bound to reduce the rating.

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It’s that time again…

April 8, 2019 Rivergirl 29 Comments

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Let’s begin.

1. John Quincy Adams went skinny dipping in the Potomac on his 79th birthday.

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If this mental image has to be stuck in my head?

I want it to be stuck in yours as well.

2. After eating, the common housefly regurgitates it’s food and eats it again.

Because sometimes, pizza is just that good.

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3. Charlie Brown’s father is a barber.

Admit it, you never knew that.

You’re welcome.

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4. A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in relation to it’s size.

Oddly enough, this is a question that’s rarely asked in trivia games.

And Lord knows, I’ve been waiting to dazzle crowds with my barnacle member dimension knowledge for years.

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5. There’s a town in Texas called Ding Dong.

Truly, there is.

It’s north of Austin.

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And I have a question for Texas bloggers…

WTH?

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I’m all for being proud of your home town, but….

Damn.

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Let’s talk chicken…

March 25, 2019 Rivergirl 24 Comments

As promised.

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Yes, we’re really doing this.

Chapter 1.

Having had many one sided chicken conversations, I was looking forward to this.

Chicken cheerleaders…

Who knew?

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Apparently Animal Planet, who features them in the annual Puppy Bowl.

Though they do need to work on their pom pom skills a bit.

And here I thought the only variety of peeps worth noting came at Easter.

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Tidbitting?

I love learning new words.

While I’ve had various roosters chase me over the years, I never once thought to challenge them to a dance off.

But clearly, they’ve got moves.

So it’s official… my spirit animal is a chicken.

I love to sunbathe as well.

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*Note to self – do not Google sunbathing chicken or you will find one on the menu of a restaurant in Japan, complete with dipping sauce and white bread beach chair.*

This is educational stuff!

So the next time you hear a chicken say Buh-dup?

I expect you to politely return the greeting…. with a silent prayer of thanks to me for the translation.

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Why yes.

Yes, I am.

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I drink and I know things.

March 20, 2019 Rivergirl 39 Comments

I do.

And I have the shirt to prove it.

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People often say I’m a font of useless knowledge…

(Okay it’s just my husband who says that, and it’s usually to keep me from talking during John Wayne movies) But I do rock at Trivial Pursuit and no one will play with me anymore. So that means I’m going to have to share ~~the ridiculous tidbits that fill my head~~ my fun facts here.

With you.

On a regular basis.

Shall we begin?

That’s the spirit.

#1. The first toilet ever seen on television was on Leave It To Beaver.

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Why do I know this?

I don’t know… I just do.

Another?

#2. Dr. Seuss pronounced his name so it rhymed with rejoice.

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Dr. Soice? Say it isn’t so!

But it is.

You’re welcome.

#3. A leech has 32 brains.

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32 brains?

That seems like serious overkill, seeing that most government officials can’t find their first.

#4. The world’s widest road is the Monumental Axis in Brazil where 160 cars can drive side by side.

Yeah.

And you know that guy in the far left lane is still going to try and take that right hand exit 100 feet before the ramp.

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#5. Three Mile Island is only 2.5 miles long.

Clearly a man named it, as they all measure 6 inches incorrectly.

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I think this goes without saying.

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I bought a book.

March 14, 2019 Rivergirl 20 Comments

No, that isn’t news.

I’m an avid reader and am probably personally responsible for Jeff Bezos’s ranking on the Fortune 500.

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But this book was special.

As you may know, I have a fondness for chickens.

It started years ago when our farming neighbor moved in across the street and asked us to ~~baby~~ chicken sit.

Matter of fact, here’s a picture of the husband trying to speak to those first chickens.

As you can see, it didn’t go well. The chickens weren’t paying attention.

Were his conversational skills severely lacking…

Or did he just not speak their language?

The chickens might have been saying all kinds of fascinating things!

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Or not.

The point is we didn’t know.

And as the flocks grew larger…

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We made friends…

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But the language barrier was problematic.

My pathetic attempts at cooing were for naught.

Clearly the birds had something to say.

Possibly deep, philosophical things….

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But we couldn’t decipher it.

Until now.

So join me on the journey.

And we’ll explore these topics.

Admit it.

There have been times you’ve wanted to chat up a chicken too.

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It will be fun…

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Class is in session.

October 4, 2018 Rivergirl 30 Comments

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I admit when I chose this week’s course I thought it was a joke.

But clearly I am woefully uninformed because Pickleball really is a thing.

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Beginner Pickleball.

Have you heard the buzz about Pickleball and wondered what it was all about? Come learn to play this wonderful paddle sport, suitable for all ages. Taught by an experienced tennis professional who has become a Pickleball devotee, this class will have you playing in no time. Paddles and balls supplied. Bring tennis shoes to put on when you arrive (no street shoes allowed on the courts).

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Pickleball?

I had visions of this:

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But no…. it really does exist.

There are courts, equipment, instructors, a magazine and evidently…

Nomenclature.

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After doing a little research, I discovered it’s a rather slow paced game primarily embraced by the retired set.

Although not without it’s vanguard.

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And hey, if you’re lucky enough to live in Pittsburgh…

(Yes, I said that with a straight face.)

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So maybe I’d better get a jump on my sunset years, grab a ball and start pickling.

Who’s with me?

Wednesdays 5:30-7:30 pm for 6 weeks.

$59/$64 Non refundable.

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You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

September 22, 2018 Rivergirl 22 Comments

It’s that time again.

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Maine continuing education says tone up your Chakra!

Oops… my bad. Not that kind of toning.

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Toning for Chakras and Wellbeing

Your voice is one of the most powerful tools of all to reset your entire being to natural healthy patterns. One of the most powerful ways of using the voice to stimulate healing is called toning. In this class you will be introduced to a number of different systems for toning your chakras. We will complete one full sequence together, it is simple, easy and really feels good. No discounts.

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Apologies to all the new age spiritual healers out there, but this sounds like utter nonsense.

Even the description is lame. “… simple, easy and really feels good.”

Well I’ve got news for you, so do Jello shots and I don’t need to pay anyone to teach me how to do them. Tip, swallow, repeat. Easy peasy.

Granted my Chakra is probably not up to date….

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Or properly aligned.

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But to be honest, I really don’t care.

Heck you can do a quick tune up online for free….

Why pay for a class?

Besides, I tone my voice at home all the time. Why, just the other day I chanted Nooooooo! for a full two minutes when I realized we were out of Klondike Bars.

It was quite cleansing.

Not to mention cheaper.

1 session, Thursday Nov. 15 6:00-8:00pm

$35 non refundable.

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You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

September 12, 2018 Rivergirl 38 Comments

It’s that time again.

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This week’s class:

Ukulele Extravaganza, Beginner

For many years the happy instrument so closely associated with Hawaii has been experiencing a huge revival around the world. Here is your chance to take part in the ukulele revolution. Folks of all adult ages will enjoy playing this very cool but accessible instrument. In this class students will learn to read music and play songs by picking and strumming. No prior musical experience is necessary. The instructor taught instrumental music at the Middle School from 1986-2017 and after taking a leave of absence to study music therapy at Arizona State University in 2008, she fell in love with playing the ukulele! She studies ukulele with master luthier/performer/teacher, Joel Eckhaus in South Portland, the Hawaiian masters at the Aloha Music Camp in Hawaii, and at the Ukulele Summit in Bethesda, Maryland.

Again… this is a real part of the curriculum.

And yes, you too can learn to play the Ukulele and be the envy of all your friends.

So let’s break this down:

How have I missed the huge Ukulele revival?

What have I been doing….

Okay, sure.

But the Ukulele revolution?

I wasn’t that busy…

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Well, maybe.

Although calling the Ukulele a cool instrument may be stretching the truth a bit.

But if you want to ~~drive your immediate social circle to drink and get yourself crossed off every guest list from now on~~ be a hit at parties, give Maine continuing education a try.

Classes start Mon, Sept 17, 6-7 PM, for 9 weeks

$59 non refundable.

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You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

September 6, 2018 Rivergirl 32 Comments

In my continuing effort to enlighten…

Let’s dive a little deeper into continuing education.

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Last week’s spoon bending was a hit, You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

And while this week’s class may be a little Maine-centric…. isn’t that half the fun?

So grab your taters and let’s go to school.

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Spud Night – I’ve Got My Eyes on You!

If you are a Mainer (or from away) who is stuck in a potato rut, you will want to join us! We will learn how to choose the correct potato variety for use, see and taste many grown varieties and taste Roasted Fingerling potatoes. The class will make Swiss Rosti Potatoes, warm German Potato salad and Sweet Potato Puree with Smoked Paprika. The evening will be both demonstration and hands on. Bring a peeler and sealed tubs to take home leftovers (if there are any!)

$10 material fee included. No discounts

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Again, yes. This is real.

There is actually a course on potatoes.

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