Tag Archives: free

The circle of life.

November 29, 2020 Rivergirl 21 Comments

As you already know, my husband is the king of free. He can’t pass up anything, no matter how useless…. as long as he doesn’t have to pay for it.

This has driven me nuts for years and I have never, ever! felt the need to join him in his obsession.

Until last week.

When I saw this on our local Facebook page:

Pre-Covid our plan was to replace all the flooring in our home. (Post Covid? Holy crap, I don’t want strange people in my house!) Along with that plan would have come long overdue new furniture, to include coffee tables. So since the plan went out the window with the plague, I thought why not? This looks good… and it might be a nice interim fix.

I should have known.

When the husband lifted it out of the truck? It jiggled…. and never even made it into the house. What an utter piece of junk! Fake wood, loose glass and legs so unsteady dropping a napkin on it would probably cause it to collapse.

Out it went, in front of our house.

How bad was it?

The damn thing was there for a week and though lots of people looked, no one wanted it.

Next stop?

The recycle center.

Where I left it…. and my desire to ever pick up anything marked free again.

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I love my town.

November 1, 2020 Rivergirl 15 Comments

And their wacky Facebook Group postings.

Cat damage and springs that poke your butt?

Hurry up people, these won’t last long!

A noisy big yellow machine. I shall follow this thread and report back. Who knows… maybe it’s the Beatles’ long lost submarine.

Christ. Don’t tell my husband!

You may not know what it feels like to fall off the turnip truck, but in my town… apparently you can fall off the potato one.

This is a running gag because certain parts of our town lose power quite easily. Flatulent rodents will probably strike here next, stay tuned

Sadly, I know of no retail chicken establishments.

Wonder if I could talk them into a few clever and highly motivated red squirrels instead?

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Are you one of those people?

October 28, 2020 Rivergirl 33 Comments

You know the ones, they pick up every free paper or publication they see no matter the subject?

Proctologist Monthly?

Yes.

Belt Sander Enthusiast?

Sure.

The Do It Yourself Lobotomy Newsletter?

Why not.

It probably won’t surprise my regular readers to learn my husband is one of those people.

Free is his favorite word.. which is why he came home with one called the Maine Agricultural News the other day.

My husband, the man who’s never planted anything (other than free trees he lets die) in his life.

Here are a few fascinating highlights:

Color me proud. My state is one of the top 5 potato chip potato producers.

And lord knows I do my part to keep the Lays company in business.

The Pomological Society? There’s a sought after membership if ever I saw one.

For those who don’t know, Maine blueberries are highly prized and big business up this way.

But thanks to President Trump’s Chinese trade war, among other things… the berry news is decidedly blue.

And finally, disaster.

Say it isn’t so!

Maine craft brewers have cut back on the production of beer to make hand sanitizer?

Oh, the horror.

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And on the 3,037th day….

October 19, 2020 Rivergirl 24 Comments

There was heat.

Yes, that’s really how long we’ve been working on the big barn. Saying we don’t like to rush things is a bit of an understatement.

But last week, this happened:

The son of our ~~soon to be ex~~ friends came over to install a heat pump. It’s his business, and while I’m still cursing our ~~rat bastard~~ friends for giving us the free pool table that’s cost us thousands… their son is a great guy.

Of course he might have been cursing them as well because drilling a hole through a building my husband built isn’t as easy as it should be.

What should have taken mere minutes turned into a bit of an ordeal. And when that happens…

You grab a hammer.

After the hole was finally cut, it was just a matter of mounting the unit.

With my husband… the man who has never lined up anything perfectly straight in his life…. standing back and saying, nope. It needs to go up a little on the left.

I believe my jaw dropped open at that point.

Outside, the electrician connected power to the box… next to all the scrap wood that had to be hauled from under the barn to run the cable.

And the rest of the crew installed the compressor thingamagig.

Which is ugly as all get out but thankfully is on the one barn wall we can’t see from our house.

I was glad to see they used great stuff. Because I’m sure awful stuff is more readily available, not to mention cheaper.

So…

The big barn now has a heat pump. And future bar patrons can be assured of proper ambient drinking temperature.

Cost of that free pool table so far?

$7,764. And no, he’s not done yet. The open stairwell still needs to be sealed off to prevent heat loss.

Free.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

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Just call him Johnny Appleseed.

August 16, 2020 Rivergirl 31 Comments

Hope springs eternal, at least for my husband when it comes to trees.

The three oaks he transplanted a while ago croaked and had to be dug up.

So when we were in the middle of a drought and a heat wave?

He figured that would be a great time for us to plant 10 apple trees.

Holes were dug in ground that felt like cement.

And I had to run the bucket brigade again.

Because naturally he wanted to plant them at the far ends of our property.

But I did find some wild raspberries.

And blackberries.

It took us all damned day.

But trees were planted.

The heat was intense and I told him this was the wrong time of year to plant.

But you know how that went.

Will he water and fertilize and care for these new transplants in this mid summer heat wave?

Hell no.

Say goodbye trees, you’re doomed.

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It started out innocently enough…..

August 12, 2020 Rivergirl 29 Comments

This week’s harvest from our neighbor’s CSA yielded scallions, cabbage, beets, Swiss chard, basil, parsley, garlic scapes, a tomato, a zucchini and raspberries.

Needless to say the raspberries were demolished with ice cream the first night and since we craved more, we headed across the road to their farm stand.

I can’t say I’ve ever seen a tractor trailer box renovated into a turquoise and gold farm stand…

But hey, it works.

Fairy tale eggplant?

There are so many off color jokes I could make right now my brain is threatening to explode.

And in case you’re wondering how the veggies don’t bake in the heat?

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Just as we were about to leave, our neighbor’s daughters showed us all of her father’s left over apple trees. He’d planted as many as he could for his new orchard and didn’t want the rest.

You know where this is going…. right?

Free trees?

Yeah.

It’s been 100 degrees in the shade, the ground is solid concrete because we haven’t had any rain for weeks… and my husband wants to plant more trees.

Stay tuned.

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When my husband says let’s go for a ride….

June 13, 2020 Rivergirl 28 Comments

You never know where you’ll end up. Pre Covid 19… it was usually worth the effort.

Now?

Not so much.

The man drove a half an hour… for water.

Why?

Because his office threw out a water cooler. Need I say more?

We arrived, and I elected to sit in the car. A girl can only stand so much excitement. But I was waiting… and waiting… and finally had to check the progress.

Never having been to a water store, I’m by no means an expert. But I’m guessing the water you’re paying for…