Tag Archives: humor

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The April squirrel.

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In the continuing saga that is my kitchen calendar ( Bless you my loyal readers, the content here at River’s World is sometimes less than thought provoking ) we have now arrived at April.

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The rodent featured this month seems to be knee deep in a pagan celebration of spring. But seeing that we live in Maine, where May can bring snow …. our resident red bitch from Hell is probably not celebrating in kind.

No, more than likely she’s gathering up dead grasses and leaves in anticipation of building a nest for her future demon offspring in our one of our eaves.

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The battle continues.

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Dudley – 4. River – 0.

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Remember the extra high sided cat box I ordered for Dudley to stop him from scattering litter on the floor?

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Yeah.

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I had two full days of no mess before he showed me exactly what he thought of that. So the battle continues…

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And I’ve been assured this new product I ordered will solve the problem.

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Well, that cat certainly looks happy.

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And heck, if Dudley will start scooping his own poop? It’s money well spent.

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Although the featured feline family is looking a tad too Stepford Wives for my peace of mind. Stay tuned….

* gulp *

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It’s about time.

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It took me decades, but I’ve finally found an appropriate use for tofu.

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And yes, this is actually a thing. Your cat can now do what you’ve always wanted to when presented with curdled soybeans. Look how proud this cat is to piss on it!

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Of course this feline doesn’t look very pleased.

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But personally, if I could poop on the revolting stuff? I’d be a very happy camper.

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Who knew?

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Did anyone know the Keurig coffee company will now mix you a cocktail?

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Yes, there is an alcoholic pod machine.

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And while in theory it seems like a good idea ..

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For $300 I think I’ll continue to mix my own.

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The machine requires a CO2 canister for carbonation.

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And they don’t exactly give away the pods either.

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Maybe someday when I’m old and grey (okay, older and greyer) I’ll need mechanic cocktail help, but I’m not there yet.

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It’s official…. I’ve seen everything now.

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Apologies to my male readers, but this really needs to be shared.

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Kegel exercises have now gone digital.

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Yes, you read that correctly.

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Video games for your pelvic floor. And thanks to me, you’ll never look at a joystick the same way again.

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Easy to follow directions are helpful.

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But the reviews are a complete riot.

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Almost worth the Hell I’ll have to pay for clicking on them.

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Now I totally want to make my significant other fly across the room.

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Ha!

Women rule, no doubt about it.

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Dudley is obsessed.

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Obsessed with the great outdoors…

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And it’s plethora of feathered inhabitants.

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It was my original intent to keep him an indoor boy… no fleas, ticks or fear of being run over. We live in a rural area and there’s not much traffic, but we’re also on one of the only straight sections of our road and people fly by when trying to pass. We lost a cat that way and it was heartbreaking.

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All our previous kitties have been indoor/outdoor.

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But I’m thinking how pissed he’ll be if we start traveling again and he’s stuck inside after a taste of freedom.

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Thoughts?

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S Rioghal Mo Dhream

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Scotland. Home to fine whiskey, rugged highlands, a mythical lake creature, bagpipes, my ancestors… and haggis.

(If you don’t know what haggis is, consider yourself lucky and leave it at that.)

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Since the owner/bartender of our local pub is a Scot born and bred, I thought it might be fun to show up wearing a mask of my clan’s tartan the next time we drop by for a pint. Enter Amazon.

Sure enough they had one…

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Though by the look of the packaging, I’m guessing it was not made anywhere near a peat bog or by Clan MacGregor.

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Oh, and in case you’re wondering….

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The post title is my clan’s motto in Gaelic. Royal is my race.

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Well, yes.

There’s that too.

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The (not so) free pool table finally sees some use.

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So the free pool table… the one that has cost us approximately $14,000 ( and counting ) in storage barn to man cave renovations… actually saw some action last weekend.

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Two of the husband’s coworkers came by for the afternoon (no worries, all 3 men are fully vaccinated) for Cajun gumbo, beer and pool. I don’t play, so I know my other half was happy. And me? I was happy because I received another bar christening gift.

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I’d never even heard of this whiskey but it turned out to have a pleasing toasted undertone.

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After two games of pool, it was determined the table needed to go from horizontal placement to vertical to allow more shooting space.

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Which then required multiple leveling maneuvers. Turns out the barn floor is not at all level. Shocking, I know.

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Play continued into the night, as did the whiskey drinking and strange reflections from the overhead lighting.

A good time was had by all… and let me tell you, it was nice to host even two people after a year of no socializing with friends.

😊

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