Tag Archives: marketing

Products that make me glad I’m old.

October 18, 2022 Rivergirl 32 Comments

I used to love shopping at Victoria’s Secret when I was younger, not to mention thinner. They always had beautifully sensuous lingerie and a nice selection of comfy pajamas in wonderfully soft fabrics.

Now that I’m a menopausal woman of a certain age, my desire for the secrets of Victoria have waned and I haven’t visited one of the stores in at least a decade.

This is probably why their ad on my Facebook page came as a bit of a surprise. And from the look of the items they’re offering now? I’m actually glad to be 58.

Seriously, who the Hell would wear this? In my opinion it’s not the least bit attractive, no less sexy. And damn, for $1.98’s worth of electrical tape you could pretty much make one at home.

And speaking of tape…

🤣

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Food and fashion are a bad mix.

October 1, 2022 Rivergirl 24 Comments

Some things naturally go together. Cookies and milk? Of course. Macaroni and cheese? You know it. Gin and tonic? I’ll bring the limes, cheers!

But fast food and shoes?

No.

Clearly Madison Avenue was on a 6 martini lunch that day.

And if that’s not stupid enough?

Crocs – Ugliest. Shoe. Ever.

And I live in Maine, home of the L.L. Bean boot.

KFC Crocs?

For the love of God, why.

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Things Facebook thinks I need.

August 30, 2022 Rivergirl 32 Comments

Facebook is always trying to sell me something. And since it depends on algorithms to choose the items … I have to wonder why it thinks I need organic underwear.

A free range bra? That’s an oxymoron if ever I’ve heard one.

High impact? Exactly how much impact do they think my girls experience…

My car seats do not need a body guard. If I’m man enough to spill a drink while driving? They should just man up and take it.

Okay, they’ve got me here.

Those are adorable.

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Things Facebook thinks I need.

August 20, 2022 Rivergirl 14 Comments

Facebook… in its infinite wisdom… has posted yet another list of ridiculous products it thinks I must buy, and this time? They’ve outdone themselves.

Do I need to remotely drive a pile of poo?

I most assuredly do not.

Am I ancient enough to require a ladder’s assistance to sit up in bed?

Not quite yet.

And while a recipe book of quick cook meals does have a certain appeal…

I doubt I need a potty mouthed granny to deliver them.

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Miscellaneous silliness

July 21, 2022 Rivergirl 32 Comments

Because we all need a little more silly in our lives.

I’ve had my share of asshole plants. Matter of fact, I’m looking at one right now.

See it up there taunting me? Scraggly, half dead. Yellow and brown tipped leaves so I don’t know if it has too much water or not enough. What a jerk. And talk about a misnomer. It’s called a Philippine money tree but hasn’t dropped a single 20 dollar bill on me in the 5 years he’s lived here… the rat bastard.

Umm… far be it for me to argue with granny, but that doesn’t look like a lady to me. Check your ad copy nana. He doesn’t need a bra as much as a girdle.

Unexpected? How hard is it to chop celery for heavens sake.

When they’re right, they’re right.

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Because you never know what my husband will bring up from the cellar …

July 4, 2022 Rivergirl 25 Comments

The search for items to sell at a flea market continues and things are being belched up from the basement at an alarming rate. I don’t know if he’ll ever actually go through with this plan, but he certainly is enjoying the trips down memory lane.

Today’s treasure?

The 1967 version of an adult party game. And judging from the look on that woman’s face, insufficient martinis were consumed before play began.

The game is simple. 24 cards are placed on top of the feely box, you draw one… then reach inside to pull out the corresponding item.

Yes, those are teenie tiny dentures. 1967 sounds like a blast.

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Amazon always brings it.

June 24, 2022 Rivergirl 19 Comments

I saw something interesting advertised on Facebook the other day.

It’s some kind of fruit filled bubble that bursts when dropped in cocktails and I thought hey… that might be fun for the man cave bar. Until I saw they were $25 per plus tax… and $24.95 shipping. Undeterred, I sought them on Amazon.

While I was a bit disappointed they didn’t have the same brand, I was tickled by the imposter bubbles’ name.

I might have to order them.

I mean really, who could resist?

🤣

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The perils of reviewing a book called Bonk.

June 22, 2022 Rivergirl 28 Comments

I should have known there would be a price to pay for excerpting passages from a book about sex.

I should have, but the flood of … how shall I say, related products… now polluting my screen is prodigious.

Mothers Day gift anyone?

😳

Technically that’s not a sex toy, but the algorithm’s mind went there anyway.

I really need to be more careful with my book reviewing.

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Cosmo-hell.

June 9, 2022 Rivergirl 25 Comments

I received an email the other day telling me my gift subscription to Cosmopolitan would be ending soon and I can’t tell you how pleased I was to hear it. Never has a present been less well received. And while I thanked my friend for the thought, I also made it abundantly clear another year of this trashy rag would not be welcome.

Be honest men… did you even notice she was wearing a hat?

Decades of legitimate research? If you say so…

Even after a solid year of this crap, I’m still surprised this is what passes for a women’s magazine these days.

Is this even possible?

On second thought, don’t answer. I don’t want to know.

This entire publication lost me at hello. And in case you’re wondering, no… I don’t read the articles. I just flip through and photograph them for blog fodder. I didn’t meet Kristie and have no intention of ever doing so.

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It’s like they’re not even trying.

March 20, 2022 Rivergirl 36 Comments

After the visiting the first Duluth Trading Post to open in the state of Maine a while back, I admit I wasn’t impressed. Turns out I am even less impressed with their product descriptions online.