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In case you’re still searching for stocking stuffers.
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Does that come in extra large?
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That one will fill up quickly.
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Admit it, you’ve had a few of those yourself.
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Sad, but true for a lot of people.
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“…. because I spend too much time blogging”.
Is there a notebook for that?
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I’m going to require an extra large one of those as well.
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My husband mistakenly touched my vinyl album collection last week. It’s large, and alphabetized.
Need I say more?
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Since I multi purposed our giant crock as a trash can, I decided I wanted something equally fun and antiquey for returnables.
You would think shopping in my husband’s vast array of crap stuff would yield the appropriate receptacle, but sadly nothing was found. Which is when my spouse gleefully suggested we visit the antique mall.
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I was on a mission and didn’t dilly dally. The same can not be said for my spouse.
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I moved him quickly away from this horror…
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Because right now the only thing the barn Mahal doesn’t have is a kitchen sink… and I wasn’t taking any chances.
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Fresh lobster made us laugh. There’s nothing worse than cheeky crustaceans.
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I had my eye on that wagon to the right. But at $520 it seemed a bit pricey for empty beer bottles.
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Even the chicken thought so.
And then I found it…
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Buried in the back and full of oars.
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$50 later…. the old barrel with original lid… made a perfect returnable container.
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Are we the only people who wait for a wind driven snow to make an hour long trip to the nearest military exchange to buy beer?
Probably.
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But look! They sell beer soap too.
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As well as this evil spirit I discovered when we lived down south.
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Purple Passion was my neighbor’s favorite and when I drank 5 or 6 of them because they tasted like Kool Aid? I was sorry.
Very, very sorry.
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Beer shopping with my husband sometimes gets out of hand.
7 six packs and a case of hard cider later?
He came home with a little something extra for the barn.
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*Gulp*
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Our search for 30 inch tall bar chairs has begun.
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And it’s not going well.
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24 inch counter height chairs abound.
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But apparently no one else (builds a two story barn with a farmer’s porch for storage, decides they rather have a spectacular man cave, spends endless months and thousands of dollars making it attractive, contracts out construction of a full bar and) needs taller than normal chairs.
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11 furniture stores later?
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Liquid sustenance at our local pub, and the husband came home with these instead.
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I’m seriously beginning to wonder if he’s going to live out there.
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The man cave has a pool table.. and will soon be filled with beer.
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So naturally it needs sharp projectiles.
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And a regulation distance marker to stand behind when hurling them.
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Why not the sign we bought after we literally stood on the corner in Winslow Arizona?
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Dart board cabinet installation complete….
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The husband proceeded to kick my ass in our inaugural game.
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Yes, that’s a triple 20 pointer…. twice. But splitting the damn dart?
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No one likes a show off.
And during game number two?
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He did it again.
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Hell, after a toddy or two I’m lucky if I can hit the wall, no less aim for and hit the same spot.
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As evidenced by this shot that stuck in the floor.
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Cheers!
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The Barn Mahal is the gift that keeps on giving. It grows. It changes. It morphs into something I no longer recognize as a barn.
Why do I say this?
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Because last week my husband took me shopping for the next addition to his man cave extraordinaire.
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Yes.
He wants a refrigerator.
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And because he’s a man who demands instant gratification, he wanted to go home with it that day… which we quickly discovered was impossible. Thank you Covid 19…. yet another reason you suck.
All the refrigerators pictured on this blog, every last one of the small barn appropriate models that were on the display floor?
Unavailable.
It was enough to send us to our local pub for a drink… or two, and lunch.
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Which for me was a massive fried haddock sandwich with homemade onion rings. For the husband?
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A tool box and the light filtering blind we bought for the window we always sit in front of. The sun shines through it something fierce and we were tired of our bartender talking to us with his hand over his eyes.
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For this kindness we refused payment… support your local businesses!…but received 4 free drinks when the bill was presented.
A win win.
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And then it was back to the elusive we’ll show it to you but you can’t have it, neener neener refrigerator shopping.
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The absolutely only one anyone had in stock was this small, wonderfully inexpensive model.
The husband vetoed that. Not enough room for beer.
So we spent a fruitless day, visited 7 stores and ended up coming home to order this one online.
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Ample beer storage will be had…
But not for a week or two.
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My Facebook page popped up with a memory that was fun to read the other day.
It was one of those silly quizzes… with a twist. Instead of answering the questions yourself, you ask the questions to your spouse/partner/significant other to see how well they know you.
If you want to see how my husband did, read on.
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1. What’s something I always say?
I‘m a font of useless knowledge.
He nailed that one, I say it all the time.
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2. What makes me happy?
I do.
Cheeky answer, but it’s true.
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3. What makes me sad?
Injured animals.
Very true.
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4. What’s my favorite thing to do?
Read.
He’s got me there. If I don’t have a book? I’m not a happy camper.
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5. What do I do when you’re not around?
Read.
Fair enough. I probably do.
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6. What makes you proud of me?
Everything.
Good answer. My man didn’t just fall off the turnip truck you know.
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7. What’s my favorite food?
Bread.
I might have to disagree with that, but it’s true I eat my fair share. And maybe your share… if you’re not paying attention.
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8. If I could go anywhere in the world, where would I go?
Scotland.
I’ve often spoken of my desire to see my father’s homeland, so yes.
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9. Do you think you could live without me?
No.
Smart man.
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10. How do I annoy you?
You prove me wrong too often.
And that… was my very favorite answer by far.
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So yes, after 36 years of marriage I’d say my other half knows me pretty damn well.
Can you say the same?
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Since all the trim work was finished in the barn, it was time for a little decorating…. husband style.
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The old washing machine was slid across the floor.
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A few military helicopter pictures were hung.
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And of course….
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His favorite sign of all was prominently placed.
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Moving back inside….
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A second tier of shelves was built into every corner.
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And then it was time to go shopping upstairs.
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Apple press?
Check!
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Butter table?
Check!
And then my husband, the man who visibly cringes every time I put a nail hole in our walls….
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The man who has given me hell for each and every thing I have ever hung in our home…. decided this would be his I love me section and plans to fill it with photos and plaques while turning his barn walls into Swiss cheese.
I admit, I may have cackled at this point. The irony was simply too strong.
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Next week a contractor will be here to build a bar in our barn.
Yes, you read that correctly, a contractor… one we will pay. Actual money. That surprised me since the husband has does most of the Barn Mahal construction himself, but this guy also built the bar at our local pub… so instead of having a spouse made amateur facsimile, we’ll have a serious bar.
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With these giant extremely heavy boards the husband has kept from the original framing back in 2012.
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The boards that have been moved, shifted, relocated, bumped into and cursed for 8 long years…. so all I can say is, yay.
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Of course the other day we had to move them one last time.
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Because my other half wanted to get an idea what the future boozer would look like.
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And yes, that’s a driftwood Christmas tree on the right.
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My girlfriend made it, used it one year, then gave it to me for our porch. Unfortunately we experience a cross breeze from our neighbor’s field equivalent to the Ames research center wind tunnel NASA uses to test its rockets. That tree literally flew. Which is generally not what you want Christmas decorations to do.
So it’s been inside the barn for a few years and despite my pleading that it would be a nice addition to the bar room, husband wants it gone.
Tons of useless rusty crap? He’ll find the room. One unique and quirky decorative tree? Bye bye.
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After the Barn Mahal clean out… there was open space. Glorious, uncluttered open space. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I appreciated it all the same.
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And when I looked around? There was a table and chairs.
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Okay, we’re building a bar for that… but whatever.
The next day?
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There was another table and chairs.
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The day after that 3 more tables had migrated their way in. WTH? Is the husband planning on opening a cafe….
Which is exactly what I asked him during our inaugural beer.
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No, it wasn’t our first time on the nectar of the gods merry go round, but it was the first time we drank inside the barn, seated at a table, with heat.
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I never did get an answer to my why do you need 5 fricking tables question… but we did manage to get that stupid mobility scooter we wasted $850 on last year up and running again.
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We purchased it second hand for his brother, who swore he needed it… until we gave it to him free of charge, when he decided he didn’t want it after all. 😡
We tried selling it last year but didn’t have any luck. Now the husband wants it gone so I’m going to list it again… for half what we paid, damn it…. and see what happens.
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Note to self? It’s probably not a good idea to drink beer for hours and then fully charge a scooter.
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The following day I figured if I couldn’t beat the too many tables paradigm, I’d join it… and hung a little something of my own for flavor.
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Perfect!
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River's world..... 