Tag Archives: porch

Another easy to install part of the project proves to be anything but…

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Since we have to wait for the custom made door to arrive (they said three weeks when we bought it, but now they’re saying five, which probably means six. Sigh.) the stone work had to be paused and we moved on to the oh so easy to install PVC railings and balustrades.

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If nothing else, we’re learning easy is a relative term.

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Numerous pieces and parts.

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Which my husband has the maddening habit of putting on our glass top stove. 😳

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The bottom rail was simple enough, but when it came time for the balustrades?

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Not so much.

Oh, they’re easy enough to seat in the bottom holes, but as soon as you line up a few on the top rail? The rest pop out. It’s not a one person job, so I helped.

Turns out it’s not a two person job either.

Which is when our contractor happened to be driving by and stopped in to say hello.

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Guess what?

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It’s not a three person job either.

No matter how many hands we had holding things in place, the damned things wouldn’t line up properly.

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We twisted, we turned, we finagled to no avail.

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And after an afternoon of frustration?

I’m wondering if we can’t just leave them like this…

🥴

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A new look.

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The Barn Mahal has undergone many transformations in recent years… from crap filled storage building to man cave extraordinaire being but one.

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And along the way…. the porch my husband didn’t want, the one he bitched about building but now loves because yes, I am always right…. has changed looks as well. When the siding was untouched natural wood?

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The old barn red furniture cushions were fine. But when the barn turned red?

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The cushion color needed to change as well. And if you remember… chipmunks, red squirrels, woodchucks and birds helped make the decision to recover a bit easier.

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So off to the seamstress they went… because no. River don’t sew.

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I’m quite pleased with how they turned out. And am hoping the critters give me at least a year or two before they tear these to shreds.

🥴

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I blamed the wrong critter.

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Ever since we painted the barn/man cave the perfect shade of red, I’ve been sputtering about recovering the porch furniture because now… it clashes.

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I recently bought some color coordinated fabric and found a local woman who’s going to do the job.

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Me… sew? Yeah, that’s not happening. So while I was waiting for the seamstress to tell me she was done with prom and wedding dress alterations, I saw this:

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WTH?

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The edges of all the cushions had been shredded!

I ranted, I blamed woodchucks. I cursed, I blamed mice. I sputtered, I blamed chipmunks. But guess what?

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The real culprit..

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Was a bird looking for nesting material.

Mother Nature. She has all manner of ways to drive you crazy.

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Still driving me nuts.

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I came home from the store the other day and stepped up on our kitchen landing.

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Which is when I saw it.

Do you see it?

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Let me give you a hint…

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We hadn’t seen the little red bastards for a while, but it was right there.

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A stolen apple wedge. Prominently placed where I couldn’t help but see it.

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That bitch is taunting me now.

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Chilling.

 

This is the way we’ve been spending most of our evenings during the summer of Covid-19.

 

 

Barn porch sitting with an adult beverage…. or two.

 

 

Sometimes there’s a sunset.

 

 

The deer usually wander up for a treat.

 

 

And bark at us if we’re spotted.

 

 

Which, all things considered… is pretty frickin’ rude.

 

 

We are the treat suppliers after all.

 

 

I don’t need a formal thank you note, but a little common courtesy would be nice.

 

 

Ahh….

Momma squirrel has not forgotten.

 

While relaxing on the barn porch the other afternoon…..

 

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Our peace and quiet was disturbed by one very perturbed rodent.

 

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Momma squirrel was back and chattering up a storm.

She was scrambling up and down the posts.

 

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Running back and forth along the eaves.

 

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And most definitely making her presence known.

Her memory is long.

And apparently all has not been forgiven.

It was one of those days when you just want to freeze time.

 

The weather was perfect.

 

 

75 degrees with bright sunshine and a gentle breeze.

 

 

We’d spent the day mowing and trimming and weeding….

 

 

And everything looked perfect.

 

 

Lilacs were cut for vases and perfumed the air with the scent of a long awaited spring.

 

 

And we ended the day with adult beverages on the big barn porch…. where the only thing to worry about was walking back inside for refills.

Life is good.

The little bastards.

 

It’s not like I don’t welcome and feed all our visiting critters enough of a variety.

Three types of bird seed, suet, strawberries, peanut nuggets, oranges, grape jelly, blueberries, nectar, deer grain, salad scraps, old bread, apples and pears…

Christ, I even buy special dog food with taurine for the foxes.

And we don’t have a dog!

So yes, I was a little peeved when I went to sit on the barn porch the other day..

 

 

And saw that one of them had done this –

 

 

And this –

 

 

As well as this –

 

 

On every single seat cushion.

Ungrateful little bastards!