While I’m not a huge television person, I do tend to leave the husband to his own devices at night ( and by this I mean John Wayne and MSNBC, not self gratification ) and curl up in bed with a remote of my own on occasion.
More often than not? I’ll be watching some dry as toast documentary that no one else finds the least bit appealing.
Case in point?
Yeah…. I loved it.
And if you’re wondering why the husband and I have to watch separate tv’s?
I once made him watch a 4 part series about Kublai and Genghis Khan called “Mongol Horde… Storm From The East”. He fell asleep 10 minutes into every episode and still never forgave me.
On my current DVR list?
Forbidden History is my jam.
Juicy secrets from the past….. what’s not to love?
I just discovered Unearthed.
And have been walking through the Valley of the Kings, marveling over ancient Thebes and reading hieroglyphs from the Temple of Karnak …. in my pajamas.
(Please try to refrain from telling me where to go, although I know it’s tempting.)
Fair enough.
But since we’ve previously established my fondness for rocks…. it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I had a sudden itch to visit Spain when I saw this:
Toward the end of our tour of the Jamestown re-creation settlement, we were startled by a loud noise.
It was the Lord of Misrule and his motley crew.
During his reign, which lasted anywhere from 12 days to 3 months, the Lord of Misrule was responsible for arranging and directing all Christmas entertainment, including elaborate processions, plays, and feasts.
He was generally a peasant or sub-deacon appointed to be in charge of holiday revelries, which often included drunkenness and wild partying.
In other words, my people.
In the 17th Century they went door to door, and if not given appropriate amounts of alcohol? They caused a lot of mischief.
*Note to self – this might be a great way to score free booze next Christmas*
So these characters staged their little show and we watched. Naturally I took pictures and videos like everyone else.
So why did this happen?
Why was I singled out and dragged into the middle of the square for punishment?
Because I’m lucky that way.
Yes, they made an example of me and if the husband had been able to work his cell phone properly….. you might have seen video of me dancing with the Lord of Misrule.
But he didn’t and you won’t.
All you’ll get is a few more pictures of the boardwalk to nowhere…..
And a few stolen shots of the museum I wasn’t supposed to photograph.
On the way to dinner?
We passed a van of what I first read as ‘Hippie’ Christians and I thought, huh. That could be interesting.
But when we got closer I realized there were only happy.
Which in the long run is probably easier on your liver.
The first settlement in America looked something like this.
And I have to admit the buildings were larger than I thought they’d be.
This was the church.
And I swear it’s bigger than the one in my town today.
I loved the thatched roofs on the cottages.
And we enjoyed poking around inside them.
Some of them were simple.
Some a little more grand.
Check out the armor on top of the cupboard.
Nothing like some weaponry over the dining room table to get the gastric juices flowing.
Speaking of that…. there was an armory.
And it doesn’t matter how many times I see these, I still can’t imagine having to wear them into battle. I mean damn, they make my underwire bra look positively comfortable in comparison.
Needless to say the husband was loving all the old tools and farm implements.
Yes dear….
Rusty metal…. I see it.
The last building we checked out was a communal kitchen.
And you know what I found… right?
Wandering at will….
Hoping something would fall off the table.
There were also fake cocktails, which is a rude tease to those of us who happened to be thirsty.
This was the day we explored the Jamestown Settlement which is part museum and part living history re-creation.
The museum section was large….
But immediately pissed me off with the no photography allowed rule. (I took this one just because I’m ornery.)
We’d spent the last 2 weeks visiting museums filled with amazing artifacts and fine art, but this…. fake trees and cheesy dioramas…. was off limits? Go figure.
Okay….
Fast forward to the full immersion cinema we were learning were common in these parts.
Admittedly, when you’re there?
It’s pretty cool.
Especially when the smoke starts rolling along the floor.
Finished with the film, we headed outside.
Past whatever this was.
And into a Native American village.
It was basically the same thing we’d seen at Plymouth Plantation earlier this year.
Except there were no bare chested young Indian men to chat with.
Boo to that.
There were more huts.
And a couple of people making baskets.
And of course, because I find them everywhere…
Chickens.
Aggravated roosters…
And fluffy butted hens.
Next up was the harbor…
And the reconstructed vessels that brought the first settlers from England.
We toured the deck.
The husband chatted up a crew member.
We toured down below.
Where accommodations were small….
And pretty basic.
Unless you were the cook.
Who got his own room.
Of course it was also the kitchen, so there is that.
The husband chatted up another crew member.
And we enjoyed the views.
While marveling at how more than a hundred people could travel together for months on end in these small spaces.
Crossing back over to the DeWitt side of the museum, things got a bit more formal.
And a trifle bizarre.
I think a little 18th Century photoshopping was in order here.
Okay then.
I saw the portrait of the gentleman on the left and thought, “What’s with the hair?”
And apparently I wasn’t the only one who asked.
It was an extensive gallery.
And according to George…. will be even more extensive soon.
Another sad statement of the times.
This couple struck me as a little odd.
Is it me or does the wife’s right arm look a wee bit…. off? As in, did the creepy husband chop it off and line it back up for the portrait?
We’ll never know.
At the far end of the gallery there was a video that was oddly mesmerizing.
And then on the way out there was a chair, which I forgot to photograph.
But George didn’t like it.
Chairs that were no good for sitting.
Excellent.
Through with the museum, we realized we’d not only skipped lunch but were now ready for dinner.
When I asked the husband what he was in the mood for, he said anything… so I picked a well reviewed barbecue restaurant in Williamsburg.
And the husband didn’t like it from the minute we stepped through the door.
Why?
Who knows.
They brought us yummy cornbread to munch while we looked at the menu.
Which he also didn’t like.
Pulled pork sundae? Come on… what’s wrong with that!
I managed to talk him into staying for appetizers.
So he had a chili he didn’t like either.
I went with some spicy steamed shrimp.
And while the rest of the customers were enjoying large platters of succulent looking food, he told me to pick another place because all they had on the menu was barbecue.
Gee. Who woulda thunk it?
People always think I’m the picky one, but when it comes to eating out my husband will drive you to drink.
Which in my case isn’t necessarily a negative…. but still.
The second restaurant that night was Italian.
Everyone raved about Sal’s, so I figured, why not?
He couldn’t complain about the menu being small.
It went on for multiple pages.
The garlic knots were perfect.
(Okay, I ate 4. Don’t judge.)
The salads were fresh and tasty.
My veal Marsala was tender, perfectly cooked and filled with wine soaked mushrooms.
He certainly couldn’t complain his chicken parmigiana was a small portion.
Good God, it was huge.
But you know what? He didn’t like this place either.
And heck, I’m the one who should have been complaining….there were no cocktails!
The portrait gallery was large…. and filled with strange and marvelous things.
Can’t say I’d enjoy having her as a Mother in Law.
They are smiling?
Perhaps the weight of that elaborate hair is pulling their lips down.
Oh my.
They say all babies are cute, but I beg to differ.
This is a girl.
And this is a boy.
No, I haven’t had too many margaritas.
It was explained to me that folk art paintings of little girls have cats… and folk art paintings of little boys have dogs. The hoop is also a boy’s toy, never played with by girls.
Yes, another boy.
Could have fooled me.
There were a few sad paintings, like this one….
Since all the family members in black are dead.
But there’s a chicken, so it’s not all bad.
And while these two portraits aren’t the most skillful, they had the saddest story of all.
Jonathan Bartlett was a black man who chose to portray himself as white…. in a heartbreaking statement of life in his time.
Lightening the mood, there was George again….
And whatever this was –
I can’t even do a Name That Crap because I have no idea…
Folk art is a predominantly functional or utilitarian visual art created by hand (or with limited mechanical facilities) for use by the maker or a small circumscribed group and containing an element of retention—the prolonged survival of tradition. Folk art is the creative expression of the human struggle toward civilization within a particular environment through the production of useful but aesthetic buildings and objects.
That may be….
But I just think it’s fun.
Would I ride a carousel ostrich?
You bet your tail feathers I would.
And hey….
Chickens are prominently featured, so you know I’m on board.
Folk art has numerous styles, shapes and mediums.
Paintings being one of the most popular.
And this collection didn’t fail to impress.
From nautical…
To agricultural…
To portraiture…
There was something for everyone.
And chickens rule.
Which clearly surprised this canine.
And yes, there were creepy antique dolls now and then as well.
Sleep with this shifty, black eyed, soul stealing creature in my bedroom?
Was this woman used as the model?
I see the resemblance.
And that poor man looks half dead already… so it could be.
Aside from all the decorative items, the Dewitt had some pieces of historic interest as well.
Here’s the father of our country casually leaning on a cannon. And if you look closely, you’ll see this…
Yes, they even have George Washington’s jewelry…. which had been lost for nearly two centuries. It was rediscovered in 1990, when the daughter-in-law of a Virginia Beach woman descended from Supreme Court Chief Justice John Marshall found it in her dead mother-in-law’s jewelry box.
Just think… it could have been put in a yard sale. Or donated to Goodwill.
Damn. Another missed opportunity.
Continuing past the silver, there were vast collections of porcelain and pottery.
Complete with creepy ass vintage dolls.
If you invite this little chicka to a tea party?
She’s going to nibble your fingers like biscuits.
By the amount of tankers on display, there was some serious beer drinking going on in the 18th century.
Have I mentioned this place went on forever?
It was fabulous.
There was a section dedicated to indigenous art as well.
And these were quite special.
Even the husband was intrigued.
Each piece had a story.
But I’ll just give you one example.
Two years?
Damn. That’s dedication.
George showed up again, though in iron this time.
“Dumb” stoves?
I’ve cursed a few in my lifetime, but never knew they were actually a thing.
After George, I knew I’d lost the husband.
Because this is his idea of heaven.
They weren’t rusted, but these are just the sort thing he likes to fill our barn with.
( And if his were in good shape and displayed artfully like this? I wouldn’t half mind.)
And because you know I can’t pass up an opportunity, let’s play Name That (not) Crap again.
What is it …. #1?
What is it… #2?
Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 