Tag Archives: humor

Miscellaneous nonsense.

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I love bread and have been known to devour my weight in it on more than one occasion, thankfully I never found Harrison Ford in the middle of a loaf.

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This begs the question why.

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As does this.

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A free vibration session in what looks like some very targeted areas. Hmm…

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This blew my mind. I know the Levi Strauss company has a denim museum with some very old pieces but these were bought by a private collector. Further research found they bore a label stating they were made with American labor, as opposed to the Chinese workers being used in the 1880’s. Either way, that’s a lot of cash for a pair of dirty jeans.

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Best. Recycled. Piano. Ever.

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The resort, pros and cons.

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This is one of the timeshare resorts where I’ve been wanting to stay for some time and we were lucky to grab a few days in the fall because they’re usually booked solid.

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Located in the White Mountains, right off the Kancamagus … you couldn’t ask for a more perfect spot.

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Pro..

Nestled in the trees, on the side of a hill with mountain views from every side….

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It was blissfully quiet yet within walking distance to town.

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Our condo was nice. Comfortable furniture in muted autumn colors, a fireplace…

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Full kitchen…

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And two comfortable bedrooms.

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No, the husband and I don’t sleep separately…

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But booking a two bedroom unit means we have two bathrooms as well…. and that my friends, is the secret to a happy marriage.

Con…

Over looking the master bed?

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A moose whose eyes followed you around the room. Very disturbing, that.

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Pro…

The whirlpool bathtub was in the bathroom.

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Con…

The fixtures were outdated and the only soap offered was in this environmentally friendly dispenser.

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Ever try to shave your legs with liquid soap ladies? I don’t recommend it.

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Pro…

Glorious foliage and mountains right outside our balcony.

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And terraced rocks all around the property.

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There was even the namesake Pollard Brook running right down the middle.

Results of review – adding it to my “would stay there again” list, I’ll just have to remember to bring my own bar of soap.

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News you can’t use.

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Because regular news is so depressing these days.

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I heard the rat is now drinking Bud Light and filing for unemployment while living in his mother’s basement. His podcast is scheduled to go live next Saturday.

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Because everything needs an update, even Jesus.

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I’m on the fence with this one. Please try it for me and report back.

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Is it a shoe? Is it a bag? What’s going on here….

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Cheese in individual plastic wrappers is not cheese. It’s orange dyed rubber and should be banned from kitchens everywhere. Do yourself a favor and make your grilled sandwich from a nice Gruyère or Vermont cheddar. Your taste buds will thank me.

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And we’re off! Again.

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Yes, it’s true. We took another mini trip and I’m about to flood you with more travel photos.

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This time we just jumped across the border and headed to the White Mountains of north western New Hampshire.

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It’s one of my favorite areas… filled with scenic beauty and wondrous natural places to explore.

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These photos are from the famous Kancamagus highway. A 30 odd mile stretch of road cut right through the mountains.

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In peak foliage season it’s divine and while we were two weeks late for that, there was still some residual color.

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Until you reached the top.

But back down the other side it brightened up again.

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The resort we chose this time around was literally right off this road at the end of the National Forest.

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And for us, you can’t get much better than that.

Since check in wasn’t until 4:00pm, we headed to Woodstock.

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A quaint New England village…

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With a big brewery/restaurant/inn.

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You knew that was coming, right? The autumn beer on the far right was my pick. A rich, creamy amber with notes of pumpkin and nutmeg. Perfect!

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And right above my head, teasing me with every glance? A vintage ale crate, damn it. The husband was determined to purchase it for me but the manager didn’t care how much beer we drank, the answer was always no.

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And though our lunches didn’t appear appetizing?

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They were both delicious. Baked haddock, garlic smashed red potatoes and squash for me. Charbroiled mushroom Swiss burger for the hubs.

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A good start to the vacation… except for this uber creepy spare parts facsimile of a doll hovering alongside the bar.

That is the stuff of nightmares.

😳

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Products you don’t need, except for Mark.

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I have a shelf full of cookbooks I never use. Some are low calorie, some are comfort food, some are Italian, some are French. None of them however, are from Sing Sing.

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With all due respect to Goose, I think I’ll pass.

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Do I need to play Bingo with various shaped feces?

I do not. Nope. Not ever.

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If someone gave me this? I would probably do just the opposite and lob it at their head.

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Now where was this when I was young? Talk about missed opportunities. Damn.

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And finally, something for Mark, aka Swinged Cat, aka Madtown Migrant, aka Mark My Words…. who, for some unfathomable reason likes to eat this canned abomination. Throw them with abandon my friend. Personally, I’d rather eat the dice.

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An udderly strange traffic hazard.

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I always see news reports of the traffic jams in California and sigh. While I grew up in New Jersey and saw my fair share of highway clusterf*cks, I have to admit the traffic issues in rural Maine are much more pleasant to deal with. Like this one we came upon the other day…

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Someone got loose and decided the grass was indeed greener on the other side of the fence.

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While it wasn’t a heavily traveled area, that section of road was a straightaway and people tend to fly by. Not wanting to see a large pile of hamburger on our return trip, we tried to coax the soon to be road block back into the field.

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That did not go well so we knocked on the farmhouse door. No one was home, so we tried a neighbor.

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No luck there either, so we tried again to convince the bovine to rejoin the herd.

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Ever try to argue with a cow?

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We lost the battle, but left a note on the farmer’s door.

The road was happily pot roast free when we came back from our appointment so that’s a good sign.

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Facebook? Stay out of my closet….

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Why does Facebook insist on picking out clothing for me?

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And why doesn’t this dress have arms? These are the kind of questions that keep me up at night.

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Dolly Parton called, she wants her coat back.

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Is that a shawl? An air conditioned skirt? So many unanswered questions…

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Oh goody. No need to buy the matching pom poms, they’re already attached.

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Since I don’t own an open bust cat suit? I doubt I’ll be needing the required undergarments.

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I’m sorry. But that just looks like a giant maxi pad.

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Let’s play.

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You might even enjoy it. Stranger things have happened, trust me.

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This one is going to be fun. Here are some of the creative answers I found with the question :

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And a few of my own :

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She fell in love with a carpenter and now she gets nailed.

She fell in love with a fisherman and was instantly hooked.

She fell in love with a janitor and got swept away.

She fell in love with a farmer and enjoys getting plowed.

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Your turn!

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Random photo dump.

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A cat and his mouse is a beautiful thing.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten hasn’t caught a live one in quite a while but he does enjoy sleeping with his toy version.

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On a recent trip to the orthopedist I began wondering if he has voodoo doctor credentials.

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Crystal bones are made for throwing.

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Note to self…

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Buy bigger bird bath.

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Even he has no explanation for those ugly things…

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