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I’m stealing one from FB today because it made me laugh.
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Can you top these answers?
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There’s a show worth watching.
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Yikes!
I hope not.
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Apologies to the former Mrs. Arnold.
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Ouch!
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I can see that.
Okay, it’s your turn to make me laugh.
What is it?
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On a walk with Lord Dudley Mountcatten the other day I noticed he found something in front of the garage.
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Batting it this way and that, I stepped in to rescue the poor praying mantis he was harassing and carried it to my flower garden.
Our yard used to be full of these delightful insects (Females bite the males heads off after mating. What’s not to love?) but in the past few years we’ve seen their number drastically decline.
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And while I’m used to the green version, this mantis was completely brown.
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So I’m not sure if it was a different species…
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Or just going through some sort of molt.
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Either way, I was pleased with the rescue.
His Lordship on the other hand, was not.
P.S…. did a little research on the mating ritual of the mantis and have to share.
Males of some mantid species mate more effectively when decapitated. Why? A nerve center in the male’s head inhibits mating until a female is clasped. If this nerve is removed, such as when the female bites off the male’s head, all control is lost and the result is repeated copulation.
So there is a reason….
🤣
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I’ve always loved bugs and insects, the bigger and weirder the better. My father used to swear he found a new variety in the garden every year and I believe it’s true. Their diversity is amazing.
That being said, you know I was thrilled when I found this little beauty in my flower bed the other day.
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Now that’s a spider!
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Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this product’s Amazon pricing?
🥴
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I think we’re down to four woodchucks now.
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I haven’t seen six together for quite a while so I’m guessing momma finally booted some of their big butts out of the burrow.
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Damn.
I wish they’d had these when I was young and in love with dinosaurs.
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I’m fascinated by insects.
My father used to swear he found a new one in the garden every year and I wouldn’t be surprised if that were true. They’re prolific little beasts.
Or in this case, not so little.
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I have yet to see one of these jewels, but rest assured I’ll be looking.
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This is one seriously impressive bug.
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What’s not to love?
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Okay, so I may have to hold my nose. It’s a small price to pay…
😉
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Did you know…
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I don’t drink Campari, and now I’m twice as glad I never did.
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Vodka cures frizzy hair? It truly is the nectar of the Gods.
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So Walgreens was built on whiskey’s back? Take 2 shots and call me in the morning.
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Good ole George. 11,000 gallons a year probably made wearing those wooden teeth a little more bearable.
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The first one supposedly has merit in the fact that you won’t have to touch strange doors.
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Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on your point of view) it also looks like a kinky sex toy.
Next is an electric wine aerator.
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Because Covid has us all at the end of our ropes and we don’t have enough patience left to let our reds breathe on their own.
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A wobble cushion to activate my core?
Just, no.
Isn’t that what husbands are for?
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Frozen shot glasses. Now we’re talking.
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I don’t bore easily and can’t see the need for one of these…. but our friends had one at their lakefront camp last year and said it was a riot.
Ya know, if frying insect life to a crisp is your thing.
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What fresh Hell is this?
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Crikey!
That’s a caterpillar?
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Damn, watch out Virginia. 2020 isn’t through with you yet.
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Yeah, that doesn’t sound good at all.
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Flowers –
For a pure burst of summer color?
You can’t beat peonies.
They’re bright, lush and smell heavenly.
Flags –
Or as my husband calls them…
Guest towels from the spare bathroom you nail into a long piece of wood when your wife isn’t looking.
Foolishness –
The gift a friend gives you because she knows you’re allergic to horsefly bites.
With a name like the Bug Bite Thing, you don’t expect it to work.
And no surprise, it didn’t. A horsefly bit me, I suctioned my arm as directed and still swelled up like a politician at a pay by the plate fundraising dinner.
More foolishness –
Contains 40% urea.
WTF!
Don’t know what urea is?
Google it, I’ll wait.
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Right?
Who in the world wants to rub urine on their feet.
And on the off chance I ever do? I’ll save myself some money and ask the neighbor’s dog to pee on me. Lord knows he’s been trying to for years.
Because you have to keep laughing.
That’s my plan.
If you have a better one, please share.
I wouldn’t doubt it at this point. Society does seem to be breaking down.
In Maine, a local reporter was interviewing random people last week, asking how they felt about the safety precautions … masks, social distancing, closures etc. When he asked a man who wasn’t wearing a mask… even though it was requested by the store and mandated by the town… the man spit on him.
That’s where we are.
So yeah… Godzilla really doesn’t seem too far fetched.
Dad jokes.
They’ll never die.
I hope so.
I certainly hope so.
And once you read them you’ll realize how little you care…..
I’m sure you could have gone all day with out hearing that, but since I hate nuts anyway? It strengthens my resolve that peanut butter is disgusting.
Yeah.
Enjoy that sandwich now.
I dare you.
I had to do a little research on this one because I grew up adoring Ted.
Sadly, he’s wasn’t always the sweet cuddly children’s author we imagined.
But I still love the Lorax, sorry Helen.
Asbestos snow…
What could go wrong?
True.
And quite bizarre…
Well, we could all use a little more protein in our diets.
People are allergic to cochineal insects?
How would they know? I didn’t even realize there was such a thing.
Okay, I agree…. that really would have sucked.
And finally, because men aren’t filled with enough penile insecurities as it is.
Sorry guys.
Penis envy is a horrible thing.
P.S. ….. When I woke up and checked WP on my phone this morning? My reader preview made me do a double take.
Damn.
The porn spammers will be back any day now.
River's world..... 