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Another year of Covid almost over.
Ho. Ho. Hell…
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Somehow, bagpipes seem a perfect accompaniment to the plague.
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That’s your prerogative…
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But it doesn’t mean I want to drive behind you.
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A Covid Christmas tree.
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And the perfect ornament to hang on it.
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People are hearing things in the woods this week.
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No one reported a missing cow, but I’m guessing it could be a moose.
This is Maine after all.
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And in keeping with the spirit of the season….
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How sweet is that!
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…
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The staircase in the man cave/Barn Mahal has been put into service as an impromptu bulletin board.
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Photos, stickers, and funny cards have begun to surround the magnetic bottle opener.
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The husband has had this one since he was 25 years old. He thought it was funny then…
Now? Not so much.
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That gem was lodged inside an old book he bought at an antique store.
But back to the title of my post.
Does a moose drool?
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Thanks to my blogging friend mistermuse, I can authoritatively say yes…. at least in Missoula Montana where the Big Sky Brewery produced a beer whose label was saved and thoughtfully mailed to yours truly.
It’s the perfect addition to a Maine bar… and I’m sure we will now be the envy of all our friends.
👍
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My acupuncturist recommended I use a heating pad on my knee to stimulate blood flow and aid in healing, so I keep one plugged in next to my reading chair in the living room. When not in use it’s tucked in the corner…
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Where Lord Dudley Mountcatten lets us know in no uncertain terms…
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This is not acceptable.
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It must then be moved to the ottoman, and turned on to warm his royal person.
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Spoiled? No…
What makes you say that?
🤣
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A friend gave me a reindeer for my birthday a few years ago.
Sadly it wasn’t a real one, just a Christmas decoration in a box.
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Ironically, the timing of this gift coincided with my I’m tired of fighting with f*cking lights that don’t stay lit, snowflakes that flip up on the roof and trees that spend more time lying on the ground than standing up change of heart about festive displays… but for some unfathomable reason, I decided to break it out of its box and put it to use this year.
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Easy to assemble? My ever widening ass. The legs wobbled, the antlers kept falling off and the stabilizing bars didn’t stabilize anything.
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Did I mention how pleased my husband was to secure said reindeer in the first snowfall of the season? It just started when I was taking pictures, but trust me.. it was cold, wet and windy.
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The stakes that come in the box? Useless. The wind blew the deer over as soon as we finished.
Solution?
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Drill screws into a flat stump and zip tie the reindeers legs to them for anchorage.
The decorating gods laughed and said, nice try suckers… and blew it over again.
Enter the sledgehammer.
I thought that might be for my head….
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But thankfully it was just to pound two thick iron stakes in the ground. ( side note – those suckers aren’t coming up until spring )
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A roll of safety wire and 20 frozen fingers later…
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There is a lighted reindeer on our front lawn.
Whether he will still be standing there tomorrow is anyone’s guess.
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Our new pool table arrived… in pieces and parts.
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I wasn’t here when assembly started so I missed the table being positioned, leveled, slated and beeswax sealed …
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But arrived in time to see the fabric being laid. ( Upgraded professional fabric, as no mere felt would do for the man cave extraordinare)
If you’ve never had a pool table installed? Let me tell you… it’s a lot of work. These two were at it non stop for over 2 hours.
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But the result was perfection.
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Viola!
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Now that’s a pool table. It was a dark rainy day so the lighting doesn’t do it justice, but the finish is lovely…
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With the maple looking positively tiger like along the rails.
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Before.
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After.
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Before.
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After.
A table worthy of the Barn Mahal.
Please note the husband’s cue stick on the right in the last picture. He was playing as soon as the installation crew left and I had a hard time getting photos without his hovering presence.
I had to drag him out of there for dinner last night and he went right back to play after breakfast this morning. I don’t think I’m exaggerating in the least to say he loves it.
And if we were newly married?
I might be jealous.
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In July we ordered a pool table. We were told it would take approximately 8 weeks to arrive.
They lied.
As the months passed, I began wondering if we would see it this calendar year… but on Monday they called and said they could deliver Thursday.
At this point my husband broke into an impromptu happy dance and made plans to gift our old (ugly ass, low quality… but hey, it was free) table to the friend who’d been hinting he wanted it.
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This was the gifted table that served as inspiration for the storage barn to man cave transformation.
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And while I do love the resulting Barn Mahal, I can’t say I’m sorry to see it’s wobbly, chipped and worn out butt go.
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Did I mention it was heavy?
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Really, really heavy. Not to mention awkward to maneuver.
So while the men were struggling to move it across the room, yours truly had an idea.
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A plant pot roller.
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Pure genius if I do say so myself.
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It rolled across the floor, out the door, across the porch..
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And right into the truck…
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On its way to the sweet little old man who comes over to play with my husband most Sunday afternoons. He’s a widower… and is putting the table in his living room.
Which, if he wasn’t a widower, would probably result in him living alone from the divorce anyway.
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And yes, those are the pillows off our guest room bed being used for cushioning. The husband took them without telling me… bringing him one step closer to divorce.
😉
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I saw the perfect wineglass for the man cave bar on a friend’s Facebook page the other day.
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So if anyone knows what store this is, please let me know.
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Ugh.
How about you run over them with your studded snow tires instead.
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Dinosaurs make everything better.
Follow me for more helpful holiday hints and lifestyle advice.
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Yes, it’s true.
The Maine state government has finally gotten around to taxing your dog’s balls.
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Beware “fully equipped” friends.
You could be next.
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I had to do a double take on this one. Although holiday poop gift ideas wouldn’t be an odd addition to my news feed at this point… that’s actually actually a shrimp poop removing tool.
And who doesn’t want to find one of those in their stocking Christmas morning?
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2020 is my husband.
While I carry a washable cloth mask in my purse, he uses those blue paper things and I find them hanging everywhere. Rear view mirror, stick shift, hat rack, door knobs etc.
Sanitary it’s not.
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This year’s squirrels are absolute porkers!
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Check out this Jabba the Hutt wannabe hanging out on our driveway the other day.
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That’s some seriously impressive girth.
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And as a friend commented on my Facebook page…
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River's world..... 