Tag Archives: squirrels

Nominations snominations.

 

My slightly twisted, but delightfully so, friend  Masercot  has just nominated me for this:

 

award

 

For which I will be  sticking pins in a doll of his likeness and waiting for parts of him to drop off  eternally grateful.

You know the drill, I have to answer questions.

Thankfully… because he’s twisted, this won’t be the hardship it normally is.

Let’s begin.

If you could choose any historical figure to hold your hair out of the toilet while you drunkenly vomit at a party, who would it be and why?

I’m going to have to go with Lord Byron. The man drank his liquor out of a cup made from a human skull. You have to admire that kind of commitment.

If you HAD to own a pet and it couldn’t be a dog or a cat, to what country would you flee  to escape such a fascist regime. Remember that “Canada” is not an acceptable answer.

Australia…. where my dream pet wombats roam free.

What is your favorite, currently active, credit card number?

Nice try. But you know my only form of currency is tequila. If I can’t buy it with a perfectly mixed margarita? I don’t need it.

You’ve been told you will be allowed to join Trump’s Space Force if you sleep with a Marx Brother and Zeppo is not available. Which do you sleep with and why?

Can’t we just jettison Trump into space and call it good?

If you had to recommend an illegal drug to the youth of America, which drug would it be and how?

Blogging. It’s horribly addicting…. but so satisfying.

Do you think pound cake is overrated?

Only if it weighs 14 ounces.

Do you like Aquaman’s new look or do you prefer the blonde hair and tights?

I actually sat through the entire new Aquaman movie. Sober. Need I say more?

 

In keeping with tradition (and not because I want to force my friends to share the misery that are these never ending awards)  I shall post the rules.

Display the award logo
Thank the blogger who nominated you and post a link to their blog
Answer the questions of the one who nominated you
Nominate some bloggers
Ask them seven questions

 

I will now gleefully nominate:

James  because I had to sit through an entire months worth of Star Wars posts and he owes me.

liveandletthai  since he’s always whining not enough people read his blog and just discovered he can make alcohol from dried hibiscus blossoms. You never know when that will come in handy.

clevergirlwrites  she’s clever, and a girl. We need to stick together.

Boo  because we’ve been blog friends a long time and I like to harass her long distance.

swingedcat  he makes me laugh and posts bison photos. Friends like that are harder to find than you think.

 

My questions:

Would any of you be willing to let a slightly pissed off red squirrel and her children rent a room? The sooner the better, I’m getting hateful looks.

If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner/significant other/blow up girlfriend what would it be, and why?

Can you talk me into eating kale in 50 words or less? I know you can’t, but it will be fun to see you try.

You win an all expense paid trip for two to Antarctica, do you bring a Kardashian or Caitlyn Jenner?

By some strange twist of fate, you’re elected President of the United States in 2020. What’s your first executive order?

And finally, if you’ve made it this far…. why do bloggers feel compelled to keep this award thing going when none of us really like them?

Wait…. what!

You mean I didn’t have to?

Sure, now you tell me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back to the nightmare.

Oh, you thought the squirrel eviction was the end?

No, that was merely a side story.

The nightmare was the hole.

And the decades worth of squirrel nests concealed there in.

Appropriately masked, the husband approached.

Pulled a panel and…

How’s that for an action shot?

Man, you would not believe how much stuff he pulled out of there.

It was, in a word…. disgusting.

And landed everywhere.

If that isn’t enough to make the husband pay attention when I wave the honey do list in the future?

Nothing ever will be.

So now we had an empty hole.

A big empty hole with a badly installed spotlight fixture.

And a momma squirrel… who even though she found and moved her babies… still wanted back in.

So as the husband worked, with an audience, and stomped my geraniums to such a pulp I had to temporarily relocate them…

Momma squirrel was watching.

Many frustrating hours later, just as I was willing to admit defeat and use this-

It was done.

Hole plugged.

And momma red thwarted. We think.

Squirrel saga finale.

 

Mad momma squirrel’s rampage continued for almost an hour.

 

 

Poor little thing, I did feel badly for her.

 

 

She was looking everywhere for her babies.

 

 

And then..

 

 

There they were.

 

 

Calling frantically for her.

 

 

So she came and got them, one by one.

 

 

Right past us, no fear at all.

 

 

I don’t know where she took them, but I hope it’s far away.

I love all our visiting critters.

But not when they want to actually take up residence in our house.

 

What a nightmare.

 

Saturday morning on Memorial Day weekend we planned to finish the baby barn remodel. But that didn’t happen, because I started hearing the scritchedy scratch every homeowner dreads.

Squirrels in da house!

I thought they were in the attic, then the walls… but finally pinned it down to the eaves. And I was certain I knew how they got in.

 

 

Please look at the upper right hand corner, behind the lights.

 

 

It’s been like that since we moved in…. 18 years ago. The previous owner’s gerry rigged spotlight installation.

Naturally, ‘Close Hole’ has been on the top of my honey do list for 17 1/2 years because birds have been nesting in there.

 

 

So the husband grumbled, and cursed, and got a ladder to deal with it.

Which is when I heard the scritchedy scratching…. somewhere else.

 

 

In this corner, under the hanging plant.

 

 

So we yanked back the bushes, grabbed a pry bar and started pulling off decking and lattice….

 

 

To discover the noise was coming from inside the vinyl siding corner post. I pounded and knocked and banged on that post like a wild woman and before long?

Baby red squirrels were tumbling out of it like a clown car. They were terrified, and scattered to the 4 winds… so we plugged up the holes and called it good.

Mission accomplished.

 

 

Well, not quite.

To be continued….

Random critters.

 

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Squirrels have to be brave to cross the wide treeless open that is the bird feeder area of our backyard.

 

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So we rarely see more than one grey.

 

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Until there’s something worth having that is.

 

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These little sparrows adore the boxwood shrubs.

 

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And the woodchuck?

Still feeding, still fat…

 

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And now?

Winking and waving as well.

This last pic looks like a little inter species communication is happening.

 

Although aside from the deer saying “Please don’t poop on me.” I’m not sure what they have to talk about.

Because everyone needs a drink.

 

Bird baths.

They’re not just for birds anymore….

 

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These little guys never used to drink here until an apple tree sprouted in my garden bed a few years ago.

 

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Now they’ve realized they can safely climb onto an overhanging branch and jump in.

Like I do…

 

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                         Actual photo of me last Saturday night.

 

Pardon the quality of these shots, but it was dark and I was shooting through a window.

 

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I’ve often wondered why the deer don’t stop to slake their thirst.

 

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Now, I have proof that they do.

 

 

 

 

 

An open letter to 1800PetsAndVets and Discount Coupons Now….

 

Dear Pets and Coupons,

While I thoroughly applaud your tenacious natures, the madness must stop. Save us both some time and aggravation and cease your current cycle of repetitive following. If you haven’t figured it out by now,  I don’t allow my reader list to be clogged with random businesses, and will continue to zap you on a thrice daily basis.

If you’re people who actually reads my blogs?

Great! Drop a comment so I know there’s a real live human being behind the clicks… and I’ll welcome you aboard.

But Pet, from the look of your page….

 

 

spam

 

You’re a bot and I won’t tolerate those just to juice my numbers… or my ego.

I remove you both every single day. Multiple times…and still, you return.

It’s become a game. Morning Follow… Morning Zap. Afternoon Follow… Afternoon Zap. Evening follow… Evening Zap. Well, I’m getting a little tired of playing.

Let this serve as a warning, I have an infinite amount of patience and will outlast you.

 

C1SuyOJXcAAKZ2-

 

Yup.

That’s me.

So please….

 

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And let me go.

 

Sincerely yours,

Rivergirl

 

 

Just in time for Halloween.

 

I like candy.

 

candy

 

You probably like candy.

 

 

I imagine everyone likes some kind of candy….

 

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I dare you to like this candy.

 

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Yes….. Zombie Skittles are coming to a store near you.

 

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Hidden rotten flavored pieces?

 

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So let me get this straight…. I chew all the normal fruity flavors with stupid new names and then bam!

I swallow one that tastes like a zombie….

 

 

What the hell does a zombie taste like?

 

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Okay, thanks.

That certainly clears it up.

 

 

 

 

Because I promised I would….

 

Squirrels.

Love ’em or hate ’em, you have to admit they’re marvelously clever and acrobatic creatures. Entire industries are built on deterring them from raiding our bird feeders, but squirrels?

They train for it.

 

 

Personally, I enjoy their antics and figure anyone who works that hard deserves a few seeds and nuts.

So as promised, here are a few of my favorite shots over the years.

When we moved to our house in 2002 it was a wasteland of gardenless grass, so I stuck a quick pole in the ground with a feeder.

 

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It didn’t take long for a squirrel to find it.

 

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Reaching it was a little harder.

 

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But eventually he got there.

 

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Although he had a hard time accessing the seed…

 

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It didn’t beat him.

 

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And he happily ate hanging upside down.

 

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Mind you, we have a large open backyard and the winds blow like downtown Chicago so a lot of the feeders actively swing.

 

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Which is what this one was doing. Back and forth, back and forth, with a squirrel happily perched inside and enjoying the ride.

 

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This one didn’t mind sharing the feeder with an orange.

He just used it as a cushion.

 

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Here’s another upside down eater.

 

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Maybe he was raiding seed…maybe he was doing handstands.

Tough call.

 

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Either way, I’m in awe of the leg muscle it takes to hang like that.

 

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This feeder posed a challenge at first.

 

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And for a while all he could do was hug it.

 

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But after a day or two?

 

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Upside down munching.

Squirrels….

 

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Is there anything they can’t do?

 

 

Apparently not.

 

You just can’t win.

 

Debt…

 

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Almost everyone is in it…

And almost everyone dreams of winning the lottery to get out of it.

 

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(There’s no logical reason for this photo. I just Googled debt meme and came up with it.

A squirrel… in  full armor.

You’re welcome.)

 

So we worked hard, and became debt free.

 

 

We cut up all the credit cards, and paid them off. We paid off the cars, motorcycles and other assorted big boy toys.

Three months ago? We paid off our mortgage.

We’re now totally debt free.

Yay us!

 

 

Except no. Life doesn’t work that way.

For years we had nearly perfect credit scores.

(Perfect is 840, ours was 837.)

Until we started paying off debt, at which point they dropped like a stone.

Cut up and pay off your credit cards? Lose 34 points.

Which is wrong. So very, very wrong.

In every conceivable way.

The last time I checked?

 

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It went down 44 points because we no longer have a mortgage.

What the f*ckity  f*ck  f*ck?

Everything we own is paid for, we have more liquid cash than we’ve ever had before, our pension and retirement plans are set and we can live comfortably without fear.

For this we’re penalized?

 

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It is.

It really, really is.