All posts by Rivergirl

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Reason, thy name is cat.

32 Comments

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There are many reasons I choose to blog from my iPhone instead of my computer.

#1. Since we live in rural Maine… land of slow as molasses internet service… it’s quicker.

#2. It’s portable, I can blog wherever I want and don’t need to be stuck behind my desk.

#3. I take most of my pictures with my phone so it’s easier to plop them in posts.

But the 4th and most important reason I rarely blog from my computer?

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten, who sees no earthly reason why he shouldn’t sit right in front of the screen two seconds after I turn it on.

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Attention must be paid.

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News you can’t use, the question edition.

19 Comments

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This week, my headlines were full of questions….. and I’m counting on you to provide some answers.

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I once ate a chocolate covered grasshopper. Unknowingly, because I was a child at my father’s office party and the buffet table that was laden with caviar, oysters and foie gras held absolutely no appeal. I saw chocolate. I ate chocolate. I was immediately sorry and spit the crunchy chocolate into a napkin. When I saw the chocolate had legs? I may have screamed. Needless to say that was the last Wall Street brokerage firm party I ever attended.

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This must be a trick question. It contends that people acquire whiskey and fail to drink it. This does not compute.

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I have to admit I’ve never thought about this….. but damn. I’m hoping my brain dies with me. The thought that I’ll be navigating the afterlife without one while my brain is still here contemplating the mysteries of life (The Yeti… missing link or just Nick Nolte after a particularly rough weekend? Justin Bieber…. they say he’s Canadian, but I’m thinking alien life form. Jimmy Hoffa… is he really dead, or just kicking back in Boca enjoying the early bird special at Golden Corral? ) is quite troubling.

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Tough call, right?

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And to think I’ve been using blue cheese all these years…

33 Comments

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Can’t afford that diamond ring you’ve been eyeing at the jewelry store? No worries, I’ve got your back.

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Grab that Hidden Valley Ranch and get cooking!

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Yes, this is real. And that’s a picture of the final product, which honestly… doesn’t look too shabby as far as ranch dressings go.

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If you’re interested, jump on eBay.

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Though I dare say it might be less expensive to try making your own.

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Of icicles and emus.

18 Comments

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A melting and refreezing winter means ice. And ice means icicles.

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I don’t know why, but this one downspout on the edge of our garage always puts on a show.

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A few years back we measured it at four and a half feet. Of course come spring, all that melting and freezing will yield this:

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And that’s not nearly as much fun.

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I still haven’t discovered where the local emus are hiding, but from the price of those eggs I’m thinking maybe we should start raising them. $15 a pop? Yikes!

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News you can’t use.

26 Comments

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What passes for news these days is beyond ridiculous.

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I neither know nor care what the Rock eats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However, if you find a chunk of quartz that eats three squares a day? Now there’s an article I’ll read.

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Hold on… what?

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There you have it. Proof you can earn a living wage without a college education.

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When the headline promises to reveal the number one ice cream in the US? I pay attention. But damn, look how small that container is.

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That’s not my normal type of pint, but with flavors like that I’d be sorely tempted to switch.

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No, I really won’t. Cut flowers are lovely but I will not be sharing my Grey Goose with a bouquet of tulips anytime soon.

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Fuzz… part 2.

14 Comments

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Elephant vs human. Who comes out on top, who’s squished to the depth of a pancake ? Mary travels to India to find out.

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If you know me, you know I had to find that engraving.

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A tad disappointing as dismemberments go, but hey, I tried.

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A shit differential! For 400 lbs a day? I hope it was double overtime equivalent.

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Proof that you can indeed be too drunk.

There’s a large section on elephants in this book including tips on which ones to avoid.

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Sounds like a lot of young males I’ve known.

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The elephant pension plan doesn’t sound too bad. Room and board with daily massages? That’s a damn sight better than Wal Mart I’m sure.

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He doesn’t quite grasp the concept.

10 Comments

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I think we’ve established Lord Dudley Mountcatten is not your average rough and tumble feline. For a cat we rescued from a shelter… who had been found as a stray wandering the streets, he’s quickly adapted to the finer comforts life at Casa River provides. And while he loves to go outside in fair weather? The winter walkies are proving troublesome.

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There are shoveled paths all around the house, garage and barn but this furry numbskull plows through the snow instead. And when he does? He shakes and shivers and mewls pitifully.

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Which means my husband (the man with an infinite amount of patience for the cat but not his wife) has to pick up his Lordship and deliver him upon a path.

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Spoiled? No. What makes you say that?

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Odds and ends.

22 Comments

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Mainers. We’re known for being down to earth no nonsense folk. Frugal? You betcha. So with gas prices on the rise? I wouldn’t be surprised to see more of this alternative form of transportation my friend photographed at the beach the other day.

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It may be slower, but it’s certainly green.

Now how fun is this? Real life Dr. Seuss furniture!

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There was big news in my town today.

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Moxie is back! Introduced in 1876 and still going strong, it’s an acquired taste you either love or hate. Think bitter herbal medicine meets Coca Cola. As the old saying goes, it will put hair on your chest.

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My mind is officially blown.

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