Category Archives: Uncategorized

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I should have known.

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I should have known finding that tasty take out a while back was a fluke.

We really do have the worst luck when it comes to grab it and go, (unlike the President) but since we liked the last little place, we gave it another try for lunch.

 

 

Yeah, I knew that as soon as I opened the containers.

 

 

This gelatinous mess was supposed to be crab stuffed mushrooms.

And while admittedly there was some crab, it was basically a soggy tasteless mess. You could have bounced those mushrooms like a rubber ball.

 

 

Husband loves chicken fingers and since these were advertised as homemade, he tried them.

Blech.

The coating was so hard and thick you needed a buzz saw to break through.

 

 

After two appetizers, we decided to split a chicken Caesar salad wrap with sweet potato fries.

Problem was, they put the cold wrap in with the hot fries so the cold sandwich heated up ( melted wrap, warm lettuce and thoroughly liquified dressing ) while the hot fries cooled down ( limp and chewy ). Who does that?

Another total disaster of a meal.

 

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Because big barn needs a little time in the spotlight now and then.

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Since the baby barn has been hogging all the attention lately, let me reintroduce you to my favorite spot to spend late afternoons.

 

 

Comfortable furniture, blooming pretties, a good book and a cocktail.

Lowers my blood pressure just thinking about it.

 

 

I planted this garden bed two weeks ago, took a picture and realized there’s a hole.

Damn… another trip to the nursery will be necessary.

How awful.

😈

 

 

Big barn dwarfs baby barn.

 

 

And it’s where you can find me most evenings in the summer, surveying my domain.

 

 

Cheers!

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Worst. Gift. Ever.

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Have you ever given someone a gift and had cause to regret it?

I’ve lived with regret for the past few years and felt the old twinge again yesterday.

 

 

At first I looked outside and thought how nice…

 

 

The husband is trimming a tree.

 

 

And then I saw the gift I’ve lived to regret.

 

 

He wasn’t trimming branches off the tree, he was cutting it down.

 

 

Why?

 

 

I don’t know.

Because it was there… and he could, because I’d given him a chain saw as a birthday gift.

 

 

Whatever the reason, it’s gone.

 

 

Or at least part of it.

 

 

And if he thinks he’s leaving this abomination on our lawn he’s sorely mistaken.

Chain saws.

Worst. Gifts. Ever!!

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Because they’re odd.

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I love odd, in case you haven’t been paying attention.

And on my normal route to the grocery store?

I pass this:

 

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A bit personal as questions go, but delightfully odd.

And as my grocery store has been running low on sugar lately…

This:

 

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Golden?

I’m fervently hoping they’re not talking about showers…. but anything that’s less processed usually gets my vote.

And adding to the growing list of  FFS, the panic buyers are still at it  substitute products I have to buy now?

This:

 

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I must confess, I’m a trifle afraid of the Cousin Willie brand.

The more I stare, the more that ear of corn on the top right starts to look menacing… but I’ll be brave and soldier on.

At least it’s not as terrifying as this red pepper.

 

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I agree.

Chocolate is always the safer bet.

 

 

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It was one of those days when you just want to freeze time.

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The weather was perfect.

 

 

75 degrees with bright sunshine and a gentle breeze.

 

 

We’d spent the day mowing and trimming and weeding….

 

 

And everything looked perfect.

 

 

Lilacs were cut for vases and perfumed the air with the scent of a long awaited spring.

 

 

And we ended the day with adult beverages on the big barn porch…. where the only thing to worry about was walking back inside for refills.

Life is good.

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Because sometimes products are just…. wrong.

37 Comments

 

Have you ever seen something for sale and thought, WTH?

I do this quite often and feel it’s my duty to share.

The first strange item is called Q-flex.

 

 

 

And while I agree no one wants knots in their back, you have to admit this just looks…. wrong.

It seems to be 1/3 shepherd’s staff, 1/3 haying scythe, and 1/3 hook from your great grandfather’s old vaudeville act. Anyway you look at?

Wrong.

Next up? A tongue cleaner.

 

 

 

Holy crap! If your is turning brown and you can scrape that much disgusting residue from it’s surface?

Bad breath might not be the only malady you’re suffering.

A posture remedy is next in line.

 

 

Admit it, posture realignment wasn’t the first thing you thought of when you saw this was it?

So wrong.

This next item simply boggles my mind.

 

The magic of a corner piece? What kind of freak would buy this!

Everyone knows all the fudgy goodness is found in the middle.

Epically wrong.

And finally,  there’s a product that you’ve no doubt seen before.

 

 

This requires no explanation, and while I can’t personally attest to its wrongness…. I did find one of it’s reviews more than a little amusing.

 

 

Clearly this poor fellow had an issue.

Because when Taco Bell doesn’t end in the appropriate volcanic eruption? You know you need help.

 

 

 

Have Squatty, Will Travel.

Go west young man, and poop in peace.

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A day late and a dollar short.

24 Comments

 

That’s me. Always missing the big events.

Half the time I’ve never heard of them or even knew they were a ‘thing’.

Case in point – did you know May was National Masturbation Month?

I didn’t either!

But it was, and I missed it.

I also missed this:

 

 

For which I am eternally grateful.

 

 

Okay.

But I’m not sure whether I should be thrilled or horrified.

 

 

Well isn’t that special?

 

 

So please, someone do the research and let me know if any records were broken.

I’ll be busy trying to figure out how to tag this post without attracting every porn spammer in the blogosphere.

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Baby barn progress.

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So work continued on our project from Hell.

 

 

Trim completed, we started shingling the back half of the roof….. and if you know anything about the baby barn?

You know it wasn’t going to cooperate.

 

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Oh, the first row was perfectly level.

 

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Unfortunately…. it was also 5/8ths of an inch short.

If you’ve ever done roofing, you know what a nightmare this is. Tiny little strips of shingles had to be cut for every row and you can’t put them at the end. No, that would be too easy. They had to be tucked somewhere in the middle so it didn’t screw up the pattern… which meant cutting one other shingle on every row as well.

Time consuming? You could say that.

 

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It literally took us all friggin’ day to do the back half of this little roof.

Okay, so the fact that the husband bought the wrong size flashing at Home Depot the night before   (because he went without me and therefore to the wrong store)  and then had to go back to Home Depot to return it the next day and get the right size flashing  (again without telling me and therefore to the wrong store )  and because Home Depot doesn’t sell the right size flashing  ( we’d bought the right size flashing across town at Lowes a month ago  )  he  also had to take a trip to Lowes.

The moral of that lengthy run on sentence? Tell your wife before you go somewhere so she can tell you you’re wrong. It will save you time and aggravation….. and she’ll thoroughly enjoy it.

No, that ridiculous waste of time didn’t help.

Of course, yours truly telling the husband he should have checked with me first didn’t help either…. but you know I had to.

 

 

Needless to say I put some physical distance between us after that comment.

 

 

I’m not sure the big barn porch was far enough, but at least it was out of hammer strike range.

 

 

So progress was slow, but it was progress.

 

 

And here’s a picture of a spider carrying off a dead fly….

Just for variety’s sake.

 

 

And then finally it was done.

But I didn’t get a picture because I was inside cooking dinner.

Hey, you’ve seen one crooked baby barn roof, you’ve seen them all.