Category Archives: Uncategorized

Damn. We always miss the good stuff…

 

Since the virus apocalypse has killed our beloved Red Sox season this year, it’s been a struggle to find alternative viewing when we’re in the mood for something competitive.

So imagine my dismay when I realized we’d missed an entire day of stellar sporting events….

 

 

Damn it!

You know that was a nail biting, edge of your seat good time.

And if it wasn’t bad enough we missed the spitters?

 

 

Yes.

We missed that too.

In fact, we missed an all star line up of great competitions.

 

 

Cheese rolling and stone skipping?

Be still my heart.

 

 

Stupid robots and slippery stairs?

These are probably future Olympic events!

And we missed them.

 

Pandemic humor.

 

Because we all still need a laugh.

 

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Now that’s just rude.

 

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This looks like a great idea since I always whup the husband at gin rummy and he won’t play with me anymore.

*Note to self – borrow neighbor’s rooster*

 

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I really do miss traveling.

Even if it’s just to the next town.

 

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Indeed.

 

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Yeah.

Gwyneth  (correct spelling)  can bite me.

( Did I already post this one? Maybe… but the sentiment holds true. )

 

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Cats.

They think they know everything. It happens to be tequila.

Stuff it Mittens.

 

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Jesus… neither do I!

We’re doomed.

 

 

In case you’ve never seen it close up….

 

Don’t get excited, I’m talking about deer antlers.

 

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And as I was filtering through my hundreds of shots of our buck the other day….

 

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I thought some of you city people might get a kick out of this.

 

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After the fall rut….. (read: deer orgy, where size does matter) ….. the buck will drop his then useless horns.

It’s a slow process that sometimes takes all winter. The blood supply is cut off and they slowly loosen. You often see bucks with one side hanging crookedly… and they’ll rub against trees, fence posts, picnic tables or whatever is around to knock them off.

When this happens, it does look a little bizarre.

 

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And painful, though they assure me it’s not.

 

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But how do the proverbial ‘they’ know?

I doubt anything has fallen off of them lately.

 

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It certainly doesn’t look like fun to me.

Ars Gratia Artis.

 

Art for Art’s Sake.

Noble words, but do they apply to off color road graffiti?

Let’s ask the woman in my town who discovered a piece of art and posted it on Facebook….

 

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Well, yes.

That is a rather large  skin flute, dipstick, tallywacker, schlong,  piece of art.

And apologies for the photo censorship, it wasn’t me.

I’d never deface someone’s  Johnson, knob, love muscle, trouser monkey,  creative expression that way.

I did however get a kick out of the comments on this post.

 

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Of course.

That’s what I thought when I first saw it as well.

 

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I’d always been told size doesn’t matter.

Clearly,  that was wrong.

 

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Butterfly?

That’s sweet, if mildly disturbing.

 

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And yes, considering the size and scope of it?

That’s probably sound advice.

 

 

 

A day most fowl… as well as foul.

 

It started out well enough, with a sighting of a beloved yet rarely seen visitor.

 

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This time he was across the street, walking along the edge of our neighbor’s farm.

 

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He’s a beautiful ring necked pheasant we named Phineas.

 

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They’re not native to Maine and can’t survive the winters, but a man up the road raises them and occasionally one or two will break free. Last year, Phineas brought his woman to our backyard. She was looking for a nesting site… but we never did see any chicks.

Later on in the day….

Saturday, May frickin‘ 9th?

 

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We had ducks.

And snow.

 

 

This is the first time we’ve ever had mallards.

 

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Sadly….it isn’t the first time we’ve had snow in May.

 

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The ducks stayed quite a while, raiding the droppings from the bird feeders and the leftover deer grain.

 

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And then a friend joined them.

 

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A fowl day for sure.

 

 

Here we go again.

 

We love our large back yard.

 

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Specifically because there’s nothing to see except grass and the occasional 4 legged visitor.

It’s quiet, peaceful and far away from other houses.

 

 

Remember a while back when I complained about the neighbor behind us who parked his motor home right next to our property line instead of on any of his other 10 acres?

Grrrr.

Well, the other day as I was reading on the couch, I heard banging.

Do you see it?

 

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How about now?

 

 

The neighbor’s house isn’t visible from our place, and they have a good 12 acres worth of property, if not more. Some is cleared, some wooded… and it goes right down to the water.

So what did they do?

 

 

They started construction of a tree house…… right next to our property line.

Grass? Ours. Brush? Theirs.

Maybe 6 feet between the end of our grass and their tree house frame.

12 acres plus… more than 522,720 square feet! But they had to pick the only spot on our common border that’s open to viewing from our side.

I’d like to bitch… but we love these neighbors, and have always had a good relationship.  The owner lost her husband to Parkinsons a few years ago and it broke all our hearts. The home is large and was too much for her to handle alone so her daughter and family  moved in to help. Two granddaughters and two step grandsons are now also in residence, hence the tree house.

Which technically it isn’t, since it’s merely tree adjacent.

 

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I don’t mean to sound anti children, but damn. We’re on the other side of the life spectrum and relish our peace and quiet.

But there it is, looming over our backyard.

 

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Did I mention it’s strategically placed on the only break of the tree line?

12 plus acres…. and they had to put it there!

 

Sad, but true.

 

While I’m sure there are thousands of people using their forced quarantine time at home to be useful and productive….

I can honestly say I’m not one of them.

 

 

I’m not learning a new language, sewing masks for the homeless or even organizing my shoe closet.

What… you don’t have a closet solely devoted to shoes?

 

 

What I am doing is cooking.

And eating.

Trying new recipes.

And eating.

Resurrecting old recipes.

And eating.

Making up recipes.

And eating.

Are you noticing the trend here?

 

 

 

That sounds about right.

And while I had been dieting and exercising and lost 20 odd pounds before the virus locked me inside with the refrigerator?

 

 

Yeah.

That’s pretty much where I am now.

 

 

And that’s probably where I’ll be when this whole mess is over.

 

 

Now if you’ll excuse me, there are some double fudge caramel brownies in the kitchen that look lonely.

We can’t have that.