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Just a few things that made me chuckle.
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Dan…
I think you need to invest in one of these.
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Vegetarian Vampires?
If you don’t think that’s odd enough, check out their 4 legged rooster pets.
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I never doubted this.
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This is news?
Heck, I think we’ve all kissed a pig or two in our dating days.
And speaking of pigs…
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I’ve never really thought about a vacation in the Bahamas, but if you can swim with wild pigs…. Why not?
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My husband loves free.
Whether it’s buy one get one free or finding free on the side of the road… if it’s free, he has a hard time passing up the deal.
Until now when I saw this on our town’s Facebook page.
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A 250 lb boar with the zoomies?
Come on. That’s the free deal of the century.
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It’s time for small town news again…. so city folk can see what they’re missing.
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No worries. Said piggy was reunited with his family and is safely back home.
The want ads in small rural towns tend to look a bit different.
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Spleeny- New England : peevish and irritable with hypochondriac inclinations.
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I’m almost afraid to ask why someone wants to rehome a skeleton.
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I’m going to pass this one on to my husband because he came home from breakfast with the boys the other day bitching that his omelette had gone up a dollar.
I know I’m paying more for groceries, it stands to reason restaurants are as well.
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In Maine, things can be a little different.
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But a definitely good kind of different.
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I lobbied hard for this cute little piggy joining the Casa River family ( for pure blog fodder alone, he’s golden ) but was met with a resounding no from the husband.
Sorry Wilbur.
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Mysteriously multiplying tin cows?
I really do love my town.
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After my husband cut the wood and dragged off the small branches from his apple tree butchering….
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We were left with a veritable apple graveyard.
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I filled buckets and totes and gave a large box to our friend but there were still hundreds on the ground.
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I love to bake and will occasionally dehydrate but I’m not a canner. Which means we had too many apples. I tried to gift them to our neighbors but they all have trees loaded with fruit this year as well.
Enter our town’s Facebook page.
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I was immediately flooded with messages and let 3 women come over and harvest the bounty. They all filled big buckets but there was still more on the ground.
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Perfect! The porcine owner showed up with her kids, buckets, totes, bags and a wagon. She totally cleared out the area and I thought how nice… their pet piggy will be happily munching on sweet treats. I asked her to send me a picture of the cutie and sadly realized that little piggy won’t be happy for long.
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*gulp*
I thanked her, but declined the offer. Come on, if you name him? You shouldn’t eat him.
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I found a product I might just have to buy.
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While I’m not a huge fan of pigs in a blanket, I can easily see pig shaped brownies and pig shaped cornbread.
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Pig shaped ice for my cocktails?
Yes please!
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Admit it…
You want one too.
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And their slightly off balance Facebook page.
Not off hand, no.
But I hope he finds one. Pigless is a terrible thing to be.
This picture of our local sheriff’s truck was posted by a resident.
Because really, who needs blue lights when you have a chicken?
This post was met with the incredulity and the scathing derision it deserved . Reveal your fiddlehead location? To a stranger!!
Mainers have been killed for less.
Fiddleheads are a precious ($15-$20 per pound) and extremely fleeting commodity in the spring. Locals protect their secret gathering spots like they do their virgin daughters. Personally I can’t stand the slimy things…
But Mainers go berserk for them.
And speaking of barely edible food, some well meaning townie posted this:
Now really, if I’m not going to eat the delicate unfurled leaves of a fern?
You can damn sure bet I’m not baking helicopter seed pods that look like bugs.
Damn.
My town’s FB page keeps me up to date on all the important local happenings…
And some of the not so important ones as well.
There were a lot of takers for this next one…
I’m just hoping this wasn’t their mode of transportation.
Another lost pig made the news…
And he seemed pretty happy to stay that way.
Then there was a woman wondering if anyone was interested in a group she was getting together.
Singing bowls?
Clearly she attended one of those crazy adult education classes I’m always riffing about.
And finally there was this one, posted on the day Maine made cell phone usage while driving illegal.
Technically it’s not about my town, but funny all the same.
Goat horn foreheads should never be overlooked.
Thank you Google Images for providing my nightmare material for the foreseeable future.
**Shudders**
More blurbs from my town’s FB page that are too good not to share.
Lots of things were lost this month….
Along with Batman, there was the weekly pig escape.
Before moving here, I never knew errant pigs were such a problem.
And apparently sheep are as well.
Big white coffee tables.
Ya gotta love it.
This next one was amusing as well.
I’m not sure a bat circling your couch is a valid reason to call 911…. but I never saw the update, so maybe I’m wrong.
And finally, there was this….
Glad I wasn’t in town that day….
Thankfully our air was fish stink free.
I’m beginning to wonder if my town has a problem.
A pig problem.
On the contrary, I love pigs….
But I’m starting to think they’ve all heard about the backyard buffet we lay out and are on their way.
You see, they’ve been escaping at an alarming rate.
Every time I check our local FB page –
Well, they’d be pretty hard to miss now wouldn’t they?
And as much as I love seeing new wildlife at out house, technically these guys aren’t wild…
And usually make a mess of their lawns.
So unless they’re housebroken and well groomed?
Kindly keep your piggies corralled.
I’d hate to explain that accident to my car insurance company.
River's world..... 