Uncategorized

Moving day should not include random body parts.

April 22, 2019 Rivergirl 25 Comments

We helped a friend move last weekend.

Because… yes.

HANNIGAN

Moving is hard work.

There’s lots of stuff to pack…

Lots of stuff to lift…

And lots of stuff to push across homemade scrap wood ramps.

What do you mean that’s not how professionals do it?

The silly thing weighed a ton and it got there.

Do we really care how?

No. We do not…

What we do care about is finding random body parts.

Tell me you saw it.

In the picture with my husband carrying the bright blue garden bench? Go back and look, I’ll wait.

……

A random leg.

And it wasn’t the only one.

The damned things were popping up everywhere.

Bizarre?

A wee bit.

But some of our friends are as well, so it’s to be expected….

kfbvyridm

It got to be a running joke about where they’d turn up….

So at the end of the day when we were relaxing with beer and bowls of chili?

Naturally we needed a centerpiece.

h68E02F2A

And P.S….

Just for the record –

As much as I wanted to move their 442 Olds right into my garage at home?

I restrained myself from stealing the keys when they weren’t looking.

That my dear, is the very definition of friendship.

Uncategorized

A little inter species noshing.

April 21, 2019 Rivergirl 16 Comments

We had a bizarre late season snow storm last week and the critters were not happy.

The deer weren’t happy.

The turkeys weren’t happy.

Wasn’t nobody happy.

But there were all hungry.

Which made for wonderful backyard viewing.

I love living in the country.

Uncategorized

Monty Python and Spam….

April 20, 2019 Rivergirl 31 Comments

Did you know the reason we call annoying and repetitive messages sent online ‘Spam’ is due to the 1970 Monty Python sketch that poked fun at the infamous mystery meat?

b9hG76y

And while I can’t abide that gelatinous pink brick either…

My WordPress Spam never fails to disappoint.

Take Will for example –

may you
be rich and continue to help others. I am sure this post has touched all the internet viewers, its really really fastidious article.

Thank you Will.

I pride myself on making my posts as sparkling clean as possible.

11grmv

And then there’s Katie who read my blog about Ding Dongs and said –

This post actually made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Clearly the poor woman had been searching high and low for junk food enlightenment . So glad I was able to help…

h59E376B6

Kevin is definitely a fan –

I want the actual valuable material you provide in your
articles.

55b8b635efdbde028e21a2f554b778dd30a38709da8b480aef6f686e7dcf038e

Thank you Kevin. I shall continue to provide the superior quality posts you’ve come to know and love.

Roger asks –

Where can i give apart my used handicap scooter?

I’m not sure why he thought I would know, as I’m hoping it will be many years before I need one.

nDDbyn6

And finally, the Pretty Guinea Pig made another appearance with –

Can You Snort 500mg cialis

To which I reply…

398qwisueh

No more Cialis for you Randy!

Uncategorized

Party food.

April 19, 2019 Rivergirl 24 Comments

Are you one of those perfect people who makes flowers out of radishes?

9b69024031b6e309f4949362a6a2552a

Or clever and whimsical fruit displays?

d31a6c6c8a60b344a415fef0cdb30a95

If so…. kudos to your food creativity.

If you can also make watermelon sculptures like this?

43e62c71ee0131d055cea3da00a09eca

I hate you.

And please stop…. you’re making the rest of us look bad.

Whenever I try to get to artistic with food?

It ends up like this:

So I had to laugh at a friend of mine who had a Game of Thrones season premiere party at her house last weekend.

There are only two things recognizable as GOT.

The wall… with some added severed heads on top for effect.

And the sausage.

GOT watchers will understand andcringe…

For the rest of you?

Here’s a hint.

67e03875e795895fe976e5ebf42755f8

Uncategorized

Drive by likings….

April 18, 2019 Rivergirl 54 Comments

I love to blog.

(I like to think so… but in reality? No.)

I love to read other people’s blogs.

(That looks more like an ostrich egg, but who am I to turn down free food?)

I love to comment on other people’s blogs and have them comment on mine.

(Yes…. Yes I can.)

For me, it’s all about connecting. And I’ve been doing it for over 14 years.

Finding a small tribe of like minded weirdos is comforting, and I enjoy it.

So while I’m relatively new here, and I realize WordPress is a large site with scores of people who try to profit from, or make a living out of it…. I’m constantly dumbfounded by the amount of shadow bloggers who inhabit this space.

They like my post, sometimes they follow me…. when I know damn well they’ve never read a single word I’ve written.

Do they even exist?

Example.

This person (?) has 418 followers…

And 85 likes on a post that isn’t even a post.

WTH?

How can you like something that doesn’t exist?

(Okay, never mind… that’s fabulous.)

But please tell me what the point is here, because I’m confused.

Drive by likings.

Shadow followers.

Why?

Uncategorized

It was a Game of Thrones day miracle….

April 17, 2019 Rivergirl 18 Comments

In case you didn’t notice, Sunday night ushered in episode 1 of the final season of the epic HBO series Game of Thrones.

I’m a huge fan girl and had been looking forward to it for a long time.

I was wearing my shirt…

GUEST_093223f4-e3c8-4e44-a847-a9c0c2030952

Twitching in anticipation…

And expecting the usual – I don’t like GOT even though I’ve never actually watched GOT – look from my husband.

It goes something like this….

But this was the final season!

I was excited, I was nervous, I was sad….

But I was also speechless, because at 9:00 Sunday morning my husband…. the husband who for 8 years had refused to even entertain the idea of watching GOT… asked to watch GOT.

From the beginning.

hC1AF766C

I was shocked.

And quickly hit the DVR before he changed his mind.

So we watched GOT.

For 15 hours!!

All of season 1 and most of season 2.

He loved it…. and was absolutely hooked.

its-a-miracle-5b5b4b

It took all the restraint I could muster not to wear a smug satisfied grin.

3bf432dd8ff554389bf4588d21afd8e3

And no, I didn’t even say that.

Although it damn near killed me not to.

Monday morning brought Patriots Day (a New England recognized holiday) and my husband…. asking for more GOT.

10:00 in the morning till 11:30 at night.

Season 2 and most of 3.

Epic!

He’s never binge watched a series in his entire life, but at the rate he’s going he’ll be able to watch the final season with me in real time.

That’s the good news.

The bad news?

When I asked him halfway through season 1 who his favorite character was and he said Ned Stark.

Oops.

Uncategorized

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

April 16, 2019 Rivergirl 39 Comments

I was cleaning out my desk the other day and found an old brochure for Adult Education.

Then I remembered I’d started a series on some of the more interesting classes when I first started blogging here…

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

Yes, you can learn some weird things in Maine.

So let’s continue….

plkorehg

Good.

I’m glad someone is.

Today’s class?

Mindfulness.

mindful

O-kay.

The definition?

1. the quality or state of being conscious

So let me get this straight…

For $95, and over the course of 6 weeks, they’re going to teach me to be conscious?

To be honest, that’s not usually something I have a problem with…. unless I’ve had too much to drink.

And as I read the class description I kept picturing this:

27e8b2d983e8696008f0af224b905cca

But for the hell of it, I tried practicing being in the moment…

And it didn’t seem too difficult.

76633ff02bc707fbd5595044009b30a7d3976ffa699ac0d6a7dd88bc34d66aa1

And I figured…

I got this.

Who needs a class?

mindful-funny

Yeah.

It didn’t work.

But that’s okay, I’d much rather buy $95 worth of Girl Scout Cookies anyway…..

Uncategorized

Because Babs and I need to chat….

April 15, 2019 Rivergirl 23 Comments

I’m going to take a (semi) serious moment here.

Dear Barbra Streisand,

I’m not a fan.

I’ve never been a fan.

And while I admit to liking The Way We Were back in the day, that had more to do with a young, delicious Robert Redford than you.

robert-redford-long-hair

Okay, I get it.

You can sing.

But your poor me, I’m an ugly Jewish girl persona wears thin. You’re a multi millionaire, surrounded by luxury, awards and adored by half the world….

barb

So your nose is big.

Boo frickin’ hoo.

Get over it!

My butt is big and I don’t have millions of dollars, but you don’t hear me whining.

(Well, maybe a little.)

That being said, I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that your recent comments about Micheal Jackson’s accusers left me liking you even less.

Could you have been any more callous?

I don’t think so.

In an interview with The Times of London published on Friday, Ms. Streisand also showed sympathy for Mr. Jackson, saying, “His sexual needs were his sexual needs, coming from whatever childhood he has or whatever DNA he has.”

“You can say ‘molested,’ but those children, they were thrilled to be there,” she continued. “They both married and they both have children, so it didn’t kill them.”

No, it didn’t kill them.

But wow.

You said Micheal Jackson had pedophile DNA.

65da090f45cf991732cb6432c1e7037a34fd3b3bfc9cf9b1a3bc8f8ee05ec976

If you watched “Leaving Neverland” and gave a statement like that?

You are one cold hearted bitch and have lost the single grain of respect I previously had for you.

Sincerely,

River….

A thoroughly disgusted non fan.

Uncategorized

Well, it must be nice.

April 14, 2019 Rivergirl 22 Comments

Tax time is upon us, and like every other year…. we pay.

And pay.

my-favorite-childhood

It’s bad enough the government swallows half our paycheck during the year..

But every April?

They want more. **

So I wait until April 14th to file.

I’m petty that way.

Tax laws have changed this year, and no… I’m not going to get political.

But the instructions on the payment voucher did make me laugh.

IMG_E4341

No checks of $100 million or more accepted?

Damn.

Now I’m going to have to get cash.

As if.

At first I thought, well… it must be nice to be able to write a check like that.

when-you-get-your-tax-return-meme

Yeah.

If you can write a check like that?

Chances are you won’t have to.

And that pretty much sums up our tax collection system.

** If you don’t know who Laura Moon is?

Watch Neil Gaiman’s American Gods on Starz.

It’s mind bending, trippy and totally rocks!

Uncategorized

Sunday is coming….

April 13, 2019 Rivergirl 51 Comments

And devoted Game of Thrones fans like me have been waiting years for this day.

Years!

game-of-thrones-waiting-meme

It’s the beginning of the end….. and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard a little something about it.

To be honest, I wasn’t on board with GOT at first. Fantasy is not my genre and I didn’t see the appeal. But then I stumbled on a copy of the first book at a doctor’s office and was hooked. I flew through them all… which is saying something. (Have you seen them? The Easter Island moai weigh less.)

And having read the books, I had to binge watch seasons 1-3.

Yes, I had to.

game-of-throne-memes-2

Holy crap!

Thrones never disappoints.

Did I mention there are dragons?

Well, there are.

And they rock.

h0B41F218

And cook… apparently.

I won’t drone on about about the fantastic global locations, the intricate plot lines or the multi dimensional characters. I won’t wax poetic about the wow factor or the oh no they didn’t! jaw dropping twists and turns.

Suffice it to say there’s never been a television show quite like Game of Thrones, and there probably never will be again.

So tomorrow? Don’t disturb me.

I’ll be wearing my shirt….

GUEST_093223f4-e3c8-4e44-a847-a9c0c2030952

And happily immersing myself in the realm.

uploads2Fcard2Fimage2F9648042Ff330f70b-f996-4102-88c3-4ebdb81e8367_jpg2F950x534__filters3Aquality289029