New is not always improved.

 

You never know what the grocery store will be out of these days.

I haven’t seen flour for weeks, unless it’s made from something ghastly. At this point, dehydrated tofu/arugula flour wouldn’t surprise me.

Along with the lack of everyday items comes the strange substitutions.

Some, I can live with.

 

 

Peach and almond dish soap? Sure.

Legume pastas? Not so much.

 

 

Colorful? Yes.

Tasty? I doubt it.

 

 

Yes, these horrors are still on the shelf.

Though that shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone.

I couldn’t find my regular orange juice last trip and had to home with this.

 

 

And all I can say is the fruit might have ripened on the tree…. but the flavor leeched out on the way to the bottle. A less fruity fruit juice you’re not apt to find.

Then there was this, that the husband simply had to buy when the peanut butter shelf was empty.

 

 

Roasted watermelon seed butter.

WTF?

 

 

”  ‘In with the new’  kinda day” ?

This abomination looks like beige spackling paste and smells half as appetizing. Needless to say the other half had one sandwich and called it good.

Did I mention it was $17 a jar?

A new scent of soap made its way to the shelves and being a mango lover, I had high hopes.

 

 

Sadly there was a lot more butter than mango in this product and unless you have a sudden urge to smell like a hot bucket of movie theater popcorn? I’d steer clear.

And finally, there were Pete and Gerry’s eggs.

 

 

What happened to Ben….

Good God, is my Cherry Garcia in peril?

 

 

Gerry… go back to Ben.

Substitutions are not always acceptable.

 

I’m just going to say this once.

 

And I don’t want to start a partisan political fight.

But I’m getting tired of people snarkily saying, “You know that’s not going to protect you.” every time I go out in public with my cloth face mask firmly in place.

Yes, I know it’s not going to protect me.… but it’s going to protect you against airborne infected droplets in case I’m asymptomatic, which apparently many of us are.

I protect you, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you protect me… and by default my older husband who has 3 major underlying health conditions that would make catching Covid 19 a possible death sentence. I’m not an alarmist, or a panicker. I’m level headed and calm, but when it comes to my husband’s life? I’m not taking chances.

 

 

 

 

I get that the economy can’t be shut down indefinitely. I understand people are suffering, and if I could trust them to protect others? I would have no problem opening businesses. But a lot of the people I know who are out there protesting in large unprotected groups have jobs they can work from home and steady incomes.

They’re just upset they can’t go out and play.

 

IMG_3603

 

Yeah…. let that sink in.

Pubs. In Ireland!

If the Irish can stop consuming their pints in public? I think Americans can deal with a little piece of cloth if it helps save lives.

And to those who say the crisis isn’t that serious because they don’t personally know anyone who’s ill? We’re relatively lucky in Maine, we have a low contraction and death rate, but even here…. in my small rural town? I know people. Our neighbor who lives behind us has it. Our neighbor to the left’s parents have it, one severe enough to require hospitalization.

It’s here.

It’s everywhere.

As this sad picture posted by a childhood friend who lives in NYC can attest.

 

 

There are no sympathy cards because there are too many deaths. If that isn’t the definition of serious, I don’t know what is.

Rant over.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

 

 

Even if it doesn’t quite live up to the original.

 

 

You knew there would be more…. right?

 

 

Nice unabrow.

 

 

Nice…. dragon?

 

 

Not many men can carry off the parasol look. Though the Frito bag gloves do help.

Kudos sir.

And if you think it’s all about classic art….

 

 

Well, dogs playing poker is someone’s idea of a classic I’m sure.

I may not be able to find flour….

 

But I really need something blooming in my life right now so I masked up and headed to a local nursery down the road for the other kind of flower.

 

IMG_E3576

 

No make up, no manicure and wearing a sweatshirt.

The Corona lock down has definitely put a nail in the coffin of my beauty regime.

Please note the mask is color coordinated though.

I’m not a heathen FFS.

 

IMG_E3581

Came home with a car load full of pansies, begonias, geraniums, mallow and a container of pretty I don’t know what.

 

 

This will be a good start… but no where near enough to fill my beds.

Damn. We always miss the good stuff…

 

Since the virus apocalypse has killed our beloved Red Sox season this year, it’s been a struggle to find alternative viewing when we’re in the mood for something competitive.

So imagine my dismay when I realized we’d missed an entire day of stellar sporting events….

 

 

Damn it!

You know that was a nail biting, edge of your seat good time.

And if it wasn’t bad enough we missed the spitters?

 

 

Yes.

We missed that too.

In fact, we missed an all star line up of great competitions.

 

 

Cheese rolling and stone skipping?

Be still my heart.

 

 

Stupid robots and slippery stairs?

These are probably future Olympic events!

And we missed them.

 

Pandemic humor.

 

Because we all still need a laugh.

 

IMG_3361

 

Now that’s just rude.

 

IMG_3135

 

This looks like a great idea since I always whup the husband at gin rummy and he won’t play with me anymore.

*Note to self – borrow neighbor’s rooster*

 

IMG_3081

 

I really do miss traveling.

Even if it’s just to the next town.

 

IMG_3100

 

Indeed.

 

IMG_3142

 

Yeah.

Gwyneth  (correct spelling)  can bite me.

( Did I already post this one? Maybe… but the sentiment holds true. )

 

IMG_3136

 

Cats.

They think they know everything. It happens to be tequila.

Stuff it Mittens.

 

IMG_3080

 

Jesus… neither do I!

We’re doomed.

 

 

In case you’ve never seen it close up….

 

Don’t get excited, I’m talking about deer antlers.

 

IMG_1638

 

And as I was filtering through my hundreds of shots of our buck the other day….

 

IMG_1640

 

I thought some of you city people might get a kick out of this.

 

IMG_1641

 

After the fall rut….. (read: deer orgy, where size does matter) ….. the buck will drop his then useless horns.

It’s a slow process that sometimes takes all winter. The blood supply is cut off and they slowly loosen. You often see bucks with one side hanging crookedly… and they’ll rub against trees, fence posts, picnic tables or whatever is around to knock them off.

When this happens, it does look a little bizarre.

 

IMG_1651

 

And painful, though they assure me it’s not.

 

IMG_1646

 

But how do the proverbial ‘they’ know?

I doubt anything has fallen off of them lately.

 

IMG_1649

 

It certainly doesn’t look like fun to me.

Ars Gratia Artis.

 

Art for Art’s Sake.

Noble words, but do they apply to off color road graffiti?

Let’s ask the woman in my town who discovered a piece of art and posted it on Facebook….

 

IMG_E3535

 

Well, yes.

That is a rather large  skin flute, dipstick, tallywacker, schlong,  piece of art.

And apologies for the photo censorship, it wasn’t me.

I’d never deface someone’s  Johnson, knob, love muscle, trouser monkey,  creative expression that way.

I did however get a kick out of the comments on this post.

 

IMG_E3537

 

Of course.

That’s what I thought when I first saw it as well.

 

IMG_3536

 

I’d always been told size doesn’t matter.

Clearly,  that was wrong.

 

IMG_E3539

 

Butterfly?

That’s sweet, if mildly disturbing.

 

IMG_E3538

 

And yes, considering the size and scope of it?

That’s probably sound advice.

 

 

 

A day most fowl… as well as foul.

 

It started out well enough, with a sighting of a beloved yet rarely seen visitor.

 

IMG_1822

 

This time he was across the street, walking along the edge of our neighbor’s farm.

 

IMG_1828

 

He’s a beautiful ring necked pheasant we named Phineas.

 

IMG_1827

 

They’re not native to Maine and can’t survive the winters, but a man up the road raises them and occasionally one or two will break free. Last year, Phineas brought his woman to our backyard. She was looking for a nesting site… but we never did see any chicks.

Later on in the day….

Saturday, May frickin‘ 9th?

 

IMG_1892

 

We had ducks.

And snow.

 

 

This is the first time we’ve ever had mallards.

 

IMG_1893

 

Sadly….it isn’t the first time we’ve had snow in May.

 

IMG_1895

 

The ducks stayed quite a while, raiding the droppings from the bird feeders and the leftover deer grain.

 

IMG_1904

 

And then a friend joined them.

 

IMG_1905

 

A fowl day for sure.

 

 

Here we go again.

 

We love our large back yard.

 

IMG_9280

 

Specifically because there’s nothing to see except grass and the occasional 4 legged visitor.

It’s quiet, peaceful and far away from other houses.

 

 

Remember a while back when I complained about the neighbor behind us who parked his motor home right next to our property line instead of on any of his other 10 acres?

Grrrr.

Well, the other day as I was reading on the couch, I heard banging.

Do you see it?

 

IMG_E3509

 

How about now?

 

 

The neighbor’s house isn’t visible from our place, and they have a good 12 acres worth of property, if not more. Some is cleared, some wooded… and it goes right down to the water.

So what did they do?

 

 

They started construction of a tree house…… right next to our property line.

Grass? Ours. Brush? Theirs.

Maybe 6 feet between the end of our grass and their tree house frame.

12 acres plus… more than 522,720 square feet! But they had to pick the only spot on our common border that’s open to viewing from our side.

I’d like to bitch… but we love these neighbors, and have always had a good relationship.  The owner lost her husband to Parkinsons a few years ago and it broke all our hearts. The home is large and was too much for her to handle alone so her daughter and family  moved in to help. Two granddaughters and two step grandsons are now also in residence, hence the tree house.

Which technically it isn’t, since it’s merely tree adjacent.

 

IMG_E3600

 

I don’t mean to sound anti children, but damn. We’re on the other side of the life spectrum and relish our peace and quiet.

But there it is, looming over our backyard.

 

IMG_E3599

 

Did I mention it’s strategically placed on the only break of the tree line?

12 plus acres…. and they had to put it there!