All posts by Rivergirl

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That’s one way to wake up.

25 Comments

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We had a bit of excitement the other day.

Yes, that’s the husband walking our road with a policeman.

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They were picking up debris from an accident that happened right in front of our house.

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A woman fell asleep at the wheel, went off the road, drove at least 500 feet in the ditch…

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Took out two mailboxes…

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Spun around and landed in our farming neighbor’s field.

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Thankfully she wasn’t hurt.

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But if you know anything about small town volunteer fire departments, you know everyone showed up.

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She was checked out by paramedics and given the okay to leave.

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And I hope she realized how lucky she was. Lucky she didn’t hit any of the 5 telephone poles in her path, lucky no one was driving on the other side of the road, lucky no one was walking their dog and lucky she entered the field on level ground instead of the small hill that would have flipped her.

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A broken windshield and busted mirror could have been a whole lot worse.

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Real time update.

38 Comments

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At 8:00 this morning I was standing tall at the orthopedist’s office.

Okay, standing is a relative term… it was more like listing 45 degrees and hopping around like a rabbit on a 3 day bender.

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But you’d hop too if your right knee looked like this:

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A little swollen… no?

The good news –

My xrays came back clean, no fractures, no bone spurs and no signs of arthritis.

The bad news –

The doctor thinks I tore my meniscus when I stained the deck. Fluid and swelling set in, which weakened the joint. Then the other day when I stepped off the porch I probably damaged my ACL and possibly my MCL. Not good.

There’s no way to tell for sure until I have an MRI which they couldn’t schedule until next Thursday.

So a weeks worth of ice, elevation, ibuprofen and gentle range of motion exercises.

And whining.

Don’t forget the whining.

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Yes, there might be some of that kind as well.

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He tried.

21 Comments

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Yes, he tried… and I’m going to give him points for that.

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The other day during the miraculous (and possibly orchestrated by aliens) garage clean out…. the husband tried to sell some tires.

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No, he didn’t put a price on the sign.

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And bless his heart, the pile got bigger as the day wore on because he kept finding more tires.

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He even went out and artfully arranged all the mismatched, unwanted, never fit any vehicle we owned, tires.

But alas, at the end of the day….

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They ended up in our cellar… where they’ll probably die a slow death because no one else wants our unwanted tires either.

But damn it, he tried.

And I appreciate the effort.

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I rarely post in real time….

33 Comments

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But I’m in pain and quite cranky, so here goes.

Remember a while back I stained our back deck on my hands and knees? I do it every few years but this time it caught up with me. Thank you (not so) old age, you suck the big root.

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My knee had been stiff and sore for the last month but I’m tougher than I look and just went about my business.

Bad move. Very, very bad.

Yesterday I stepped off my kitchen porch and something snapped. Like a rubber band… and yes, I screamed. Did I mention we had a big storm the night before and had been without power for 10 hours by then?

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Good times.

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I hobbled back in the house and iced it down but holy hell it hurt. I couldn’t walk, couldn’t bend, couldn’t put any weight on it whatsoever. Spent a very uncomfortable and sleepless night, then woke up looking something like this:

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I didn’t dare attempt a shower, so I limped to the doctors office this morning with my radical bed head and frightened a few staff members along the way.

Hey, ya gotta take your jollies where you can.

Turns out the doctor they assigned me wasn’t really a doctor just a nurse practitioner. And when he put me on the table to start pulling and tugging my leg in different directions? I was ready to cram his stethoscope where the sun don’t shine.

After the exam and manipulation I was almost in tears. Which is when he told me to go across town for xrays and an appointment with an orthopedist because oh, by the way… he had no earthly idea what was wrong with me. As I made my way back to the waiting room… with the speed of a 200 year tortoise… I discovered my husband had decided now would be a good time to request his flu shot.

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Which we waited a good half hour for.

So.. by the time I got across town, had xrays and was ready for my orthopedist appt? We found out the orthopedist leaves at noon.

It was 12:05…. and I was not a happy camper.

Long story long, I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 8:00am and they think I either tore a ligament or ripped a tendon. Either way, it’s not good.

And oh yes, my devoted spouse who took the day off from work to care for me? He’s at our local pub having a late lunch. Me? I had to make my own.

Ain’t love grand?

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I love my town.

15 Comments

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And what passes for local news on their Facebook page.

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No, I don’t know what’s happening either. But turtles are involved so it must be good.

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Goat shooing happens more often than you think here.

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Now this is news!

While we do live in Maine, moose are more commonly seen up north. Having one stroll our river is a sure way to fire up the locals.

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This is another type of wildlife sighting altogether. A traveling donkey who spends a few nights on your lawn by request. Made by a local artist, his name is Mr. H.

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Goats are still on the loose.

Clearly their walkabout is causing concern.

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But in happier news, the slandering chicken is back home on the drivay.

Perhaps if her owner learned how to spell she’d stay home more often.

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Beauty products I probably need, but won’t buy.

25 Comments

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This first one makes me laugh because I’ve been saying it for years.

Don’t waste your money on expensive wrinkle creams ladies… just get some spackle and a putty knife to fill in those cracks.

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See?

Same idea… different packaging.

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Bad pun aside, if I want to slather egg white on my face? I’ll wait until it’s time to bake blueberry coffee cake again.

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No plastic egg required.

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This has always baffled me.

It’s ACID…. and peels off a layer of your skin to boost that brightness. Vegan?

Well no shit.

How many cows do you know who are filled with acid?

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Silicone mask brush?

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Looks like another putty knife to me.

Finally, there’s lip lifter.

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Lip lifter.

For Christ’s sake. I have boob lifting bras and butt lifting panties …. now you want me to lift my lips?

I give up.

Gravity, do what you will. As long as I can still lift the martini glass?

I’m good.

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It’s not just for furniture anymore.

32 Comments

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My girlfriend was in the market for furniture and asked me to go with her to the new Jordan’s that opened at the Maine Mall.

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Holy mackerel Batman!

Clearly it’s been a long time since I shopped for a sofa, because this was a totally immersive experience.

Yes, that picture is of the one store… not the mall itself. Huge doesn’t begin to describe it. We walked and walked and walked and thought we’d never find the end.

Some of the furniture was…

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Different.

Let’s go with that.

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Wait…

What?

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Is this the hamster night light option?

Or disco lighting for when your urge to do the Hustle is too strong to ignore?

Either way, I’ll pass.

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The home office section had a few quirky pieces as well.

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They were actually selling these vintage typewriters.

Price? $450.

And yes, I’ll be checking the husband’s barn for one as soon as I’m done posting.

So it was an interesting place. But the weirdest thing of all?

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This:

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Yes.

It’s been long time since I went furniture shopping.

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I’m seeing red.

18 Comments

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No, the husband hasn’t bought the contents of that abandoned Victorian up the road….

I mean this kind of red.

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Weeee!

Our first glimpse of what poppa barn will look like when finished.

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The trim will be added after.

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And there’s a lot of it to add.

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But I’m excited to see him finally sporting some color.

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I think baby barn agrees.

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Was this really necessary?

24 Comments

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We have a family of skunks who visit nightly to snack on fallen seed and the food I put out for the fox. I rarely get pictures of them because I can’t shoot through the window when it’s dark. And yes…. I could go outside, but startling a group of skunks and being the recipient of their liquid wrath simply isn’t worth bathing in tomato juice. Even for you.

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This little fellow wandered in at dusk the other night.

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And while they’re not great photos, they provide proof.

Proof that this happens.

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Skunk poo.

In the deer food.

Now was that really necessary?