All posts by Rivergirl

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Because when I have a lot of time on my hands… it’s what I do.

 

If I’m self isolating?

And the husband is teleworking so I have to tiptoe quietly around the house….

I read.

 

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And when the husband is not working…… but watching old westerns with John Wayne or non stop Corona Virus news coverage that makes me want to scream?

I read.

 

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Problem is I read too much and too quickly.

12 books in 2 weeks makes me wish we were eligible for that stimulus package check.

Because if this keeps up much longer… and Goodwill and the libraries stay closed?

I’m going to need it for my Amazon bill.

Wording.

 

I love to word.

I love to read them, write them, and learn them.

And I love weirdo words most of all.

When you travel you hear words unique to certain regions and words used in different contexts.

Words!

Ya gotta love them.

 

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So when I saw this the other day?

I knew I had to share.

 

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I admit I’ve been known to make use of dingleberry, dicombobulated and kerfuffle now and then…. although I’m not nearly old enough to drop whippersnapper into a conversation any time soon.

In Maine we tend to say things are wicked. As in “That margarita is wicked good”  or “That beer is wicked cold”.

We also can lose control of our cars and end up in the  puckerbrush.

Mainers say  ayuh  when we mean yes.

We call submarine sandwiches Italians.

If you’re cute? We’ll call you  cunnin’.

If something is the best? We’ll say it’s  finest kind.

If you live far away from town? That would be the willy wacks.

And if you live really far away from town? That’s  bumblefuckEgypt.

 

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So educate me.

What words do you use in your backyard?

 

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Grocery store oddities.

 

Proof positive you can find blog fodder everywhere.

Not being a Slim Jim or pork rind fan I passed on these…

 

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I mean, hey… I like spicy food.

But not hot enough to make my pig squeal.

Then there was this –

 

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A clever ad gimmick for Walking Dead fans, but I can turn into a zombie by drinking just about anything.

No apocalypse necessary.

 

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I did buy these lemons.

Although I was little disappointed they didn’t have seed spitting lips.

Next time I’ll look for the GMO versions.

They’re always more interesting.

 

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And finally, back to the liquor aisle.

While the name Screwball caught my attention….

 

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I could come up with no reasonable explanation for adding peanut butter to a perfectly good whisky.

That’s just wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

Because even turkeys get cold.

 

Our local feed store is a delightfully quirky place.

Owned and operated by a wonderful man who shares our love of critters, I always look forward to shopping there.

Case in point….

When a turkey chick failed to sell last year because it had a deformity of it’s wing? He adopted it.

The bird is now large, spoiled silly and something of a feed store mascot.

When the temperature drops to near freezing?

 

 

She comes inside and stays by the wood stove…

Because even turkey birds get cold.

 

 

 

Please note there are two chickens under the table as well.

I love my town!!

Things my husband does that make me say WTH?

 

So I went out to the garage a while ago and saw he had moved the snow blower.

And while that in itself isn’t strange…

This was.

 

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Huh?

 

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Yes, that’s a bungee cord with one end hooked to the mirror…..

 

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And the other end hooked to the blower chute.

It took me a minute to realize he did this due to the limited space on his side of the building.

How limited?

Here’s a shot of the back end.

 

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Yeah.

 

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I’d say he had backed up as far as he could.

 

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The more logical solution of throwing out all that crap treasure not withstanding.

 

 

 

Have you ever watched a deer go apple picking?

 

Well now you can.

 

 

We had a lot of visitors this past winter.

 

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These are pictures from back in January because I’m still playing catch up from the vacation posts.

 

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Our buck kept his rack a lot longer than usual.

 

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But it didn’t stop him from apple picking.

 

 

 

Or sticking his tongue out at the photographer.

 

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Cheeky little bugger.

 

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Father and son…

 

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Or daughter, it’s hard to tell at this stage.

Distancing…. A definition.

 

According to the dictionary, the definition of distancing is:

To make someone or something far off or remote in position.

 

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Not a difficult concept… so maybe you can tell me why certain groups of people have such a hard time comprehending it.

( I realize I’m going to tick some readers off with this next part, but I’m sorry… the situation is ticking me off on a daily basis. )

The husband and I have been good little virus citizens. We stay home, alone…. and I have made 2 trips to the grocery store (and only the grocery store!) in the past 19 days.

This is the definition of social distancing… and if it’s what we have to do to save American lives? Then that’s what we’ll do.

So if I can’t go to my local pub and pray to the God of Tequila?

You can’t go to church and pray to yours.

 

 

My pub is closed. Shut up tight so groups can’t gather and spread infection. But your churches are wide open and hundreds are sitting side by side.

I know my bar stool misses me, but I can drink at home if I choose. So how about you choose to pray at home as well? I know it’s possible, my mother did it every night.

Here are a few examples of what’s currently ticking me off –

Our daughter of the heart posted a state of North Carolina alert which listed churches as “essential” places that could remain open.

In Washington state 60 people attended a church choir practice. 45 of them now have the virus, and 2 of them are dead.

A pastor from Louisiana said closing churches would be “discrimination against the faith”.

Coincidence that 12 days after he said this the number of positive cases in that state skyrocketed?

Maybe.

 

 

But for shepherds who are supposed to care for their flocks?

 

 

The two small churches in our town are offering online video sermons and outreach through social media. That’s the correct way to practice distancing and tend to your flock at the same time.

Common sense will get us through this.

Let’s try to have some.

Oh, no… Hell no.

 

Women will try anything to keep their skin looking supple and smooth. The illusion of youth is a powerfully motivating force.

And while I admit to buying my fair share of high priced creams and lotions in a feeble attempt to push back the hand of time…. even I have a limit.

Here it is:

 

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Yes…

Snail mucus.

 

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Because someone, somewhere, at sometime saw this…..

 

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And thought, yup….

I got to get me some of that!

 

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