Tell me….
Do you see it?
I look at it everyday and think, damn…. that’s just cruel.
Yes.
It’s the magazine bucket.
It’s mocking me.
Ya gotta love ’em….
Cheap knock offs.
We’ve all seen them, we’ve all cringed.
Here are some that might make you laugh as well.
Clearly these are Thin Mints fatter cousins.
Arm and Hatchet…
When you’re really serious about getting rid of refrigerator odors.
Big Fella?
Come on…. it’s like they’re not even trying.
Nut Master!
I can’t even…. 🤣 🤣 🤣
For those days when your hamburger needs more than a helper.
Sorry…
But my mind went to a bad place with this one.
I’m going out on a limb here and guessing this wasn’t made in Massachusetts.
And finally, from Wal Mart….. the king of knock offs.
Because no one could be bothered to think up a real name for it.
It’s snow good.
Ah, spring!
In Maine? We tend to do it differently.
Like last Thursday, when one of our woodchucks came out of hibernation and said wtf?
The deer weren’t too happy either.
And before we knew it, what was supposed to be a light flurry…..
Turned into a full blown storm.
Complete with heavy wet snow weighing down the trees..
And turning everything into a winter wonderland.
Spring.
It isn’t always green.
Things that make me say WTH?
Stupid products….
Keeping the American economy strong for decades.
The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…
Most important meal of the day? Maybe.
But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.
So no cereal sippy cups for us.
Toaster bags.
Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?
I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.
No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.
Pooch Selfies.
Kill me now.
Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.
And while this may look a little odd?
The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.
But this?
This is a bridge too far.
No.
Just… no.
I don’t know about you?
But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.
Quarantine fever?
I don’t normally blog about my husband’s job.
He is a Fed after all, they might be listening.
But this morning he received a message from a man who was threatening to shoot drones out of the sky. While that in itself was troubling… the man’s explanation was even more so.
You see the drones were flying over his house and scanning him with infrared rays. He was wrapping himself in tin foil for protection while sleeping, but would soon run out of supplies.
Well, sure.
Who can blame him for being upset? Everyone knows the anal probe comes after the infrared rays….. and that’s enough to ruin anyone’s day.
The courthouse passed him off to the sheriff… who passed him off to the State Police… who passed him off to the husband’s office…. and now my other half has to deal with him.
Quarantine fever.
It’s driving them out of the woodwork.
Another subtle hint….
*Disclaimer – this post was written before the virus shut everything down*
A short time ago I wrote about the subtle hints that let you know you may be spending too much time at your local pub.
I’m afraid it’s ratcheted up considerably since then.
Let me preface this by saying it has been pointed out to me that sometimes.… I can be a little hard to take.
I know.
It’s shocking, but true.
So when I was being my usual charming self one afternoon in the recent past?
This:
A spoon figurine with his fork finger in the air was placed in front of me….
With a straw prominently placed so I couldn’t miss the message.
This leads me to believe the bartender/owner has become entirely too comfortable with yours truly.
Subtle hints.
It’s all about the subtle hints.
And just think…
I pay for this abuse!
A little pandemic humor.
(Because we all need to laugh or we’ll kill the spouses we’re locked in the house with.)
This person found an interesting, albeit slightly creepy…. way to re-purpose Amazon boxes.
Imagine putting a leash on that and taking it out for a walk?
Here…. our niece’s son used his spare time to jump on a trampoline with his chicken.
The chicken was unavailable for comment.
I admit I didn’t know about the latest ribbon trend…
But I sure do wish I lived in this fellow’s neighborhood.
Margarita home delivery?
Long live the quarantine!
Farnsworth Part 2…..
Continuing our stroll around the museum, we found abstract landscapes…
A necklace challenged woman…
And a large amount of love.
The husband still had that what the hell am I looking at puzzled look on his face… and read all the detailed descriptions in hopes of enlightenment.
And speaking of light….
While I’m generally not a fan of realism, the play of light and shadows in this piece were spectacular.
And now?
Behold….
I found a rock!
As well as a nude on a mushroom.
Bet you’ve never seen that before.
Upstairs we found the Maine gallery.
Which welcomed us with bloody fish guts.
I’d have preferred an apple martini, but whatever.
There were Maine scenes.
Including this melancholy piece of women waiting for their men to return from the sea.
There was an extremely long panoramic of Main Street, Rockland in the 1800’s.
Did you know it’s known as the Lobster Capitol of the World?
You do now.
There was a model ship, which after those amazing examples we’d seen in Virginia…. looked like a 4 year old had built it.
Btw… did you know it’s bad luck to say the word pig on a lobster boat? I’ve known fisherman who won’t even bring a ham sandwich on board…. though no one could ever tell me where that started.
What does this have to do with Maine? Other than the fact it’s made with seashells, I have no idea.
I’ve certainly never seen a lobsterman wear one.
I’ve also never seen one wear that.
For which I am quite thankful…..
Done with the museum, I picked a restaurant on the Camden waterfront.
It had a nice view.
And a tasty Maine sipper.
But the husband wasn’t satisfied with the small lunch menu, so we just had clam chowder….
And wondered when that eagle was going to swoop down and snag a piece of fish.
Though I suggested a few other places to eat, the husband opted for Chinese take out…
Which was disappointing, again. It seems no matter how many places we try, they’re always awful.
My shrimp lo mien? Tasted like soap.
The beef and broccoli? Like they used Alpo for sauce.
Blech!
When ya gotta go…..
Due to the nationwide shortage of toilet paper, I feel it’s necessary to share a little history.
As well as a helpful alternative in these troubling times.
You know the old saying, “When in Rome?”
Well……
The Ancient Romans were never bothered by a lack of tripe ply Charmin.
No, sir.
Not when they had their handy tersoriums.
I’ll pause for a moment to let you conjure a mental image of using one the next time you pay a visit.
Got it?
Alright then…. moving on.
Death by lion…. or swallowing a tersorium?
Sorry, but I’m going with the lion every time.
And in case you’re interested?
You should be thanking this man that you’re not outside searching for a stick right now.
Joseph C. Gayetty.
The inventor of modern toilet paper.
Corn cobs?
No thank you.
But if the Covid shortage continues, we’re all going to wish the Sears catalog was still being printed.
And now that I think about it….
Maybe I need to check the husband’s barn for this stuff. If anyone has some, it will be my other half.
Far be it for me to woo my own destruction.
The Farnsworth Art Museum, Rockland, Maine…. A. Wyeth, a fiber crow and some claws.
This is a place I’ve always wanted to visit but never have… so on a rainy, blustery day a while back? We did.
The Farnsworth is famous in these parts for it’s extensive collection of Maine artists….
With the Wyeth’s being front and center.
I’ve always liked Andrew, and on the day we visited there was a special exhibit of his work from WW1.
Art is a strange thing, and totally subjective… so what moves me might leave you flat.
But hey, it’s my blog. My choice.
This simple painting of a helmet filled with pine cones for example.
You’ll have to pardon the reflections in a lot of these shots…. it’s nearly impossible to avoid with the bright gallery lights and glass.
While not known for his portraiture…
This series of photos showing Wyeth at work was quite interesting.
As was the case filled with drawings he did at the age of 8.
Huh…
I’m pretty sure my 8 year old artwork looked something like this:
The next gallery showcased Wyeth’s Maine pieces.
And trust me, they really capture the feel of our coast.
There was also a section of these…
Halloween!
Which looked much better without the reflection of the paintings from the other side of the room.
But you get the idea.
Nothing says Halloween in Maine like a skeletal ship’s captain.
Making our way through the museum we found a fiber artist….
Who had some unusual installations…
Proving that art comes in all shapes and sizes.
Down the stairs and into the main gallery…
A tribute to Maine’s agrarian culture…
And it’s crustaceans.
Yes, that is a marvelous pile of blown glass lobster claws.
It should be noted that while I grew up strolling happily around MOMA in New York, the husband has absolutely no tolerance for modern art.
And I have to admit….. watching him puzzle over what he’s looking at is half the fun of visiting museums together.
I keep telling him that it’s more important to experience art, to feel it… than to understand it.
But he just wrinkles his nose and says….
“Yes. But what the hell is it?”
There were a few Rockwell Kent pieces….
Whose work has sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
As well as this:
A table to draw a self portrait.
Which made me very glad we hadn’t run into this fellow.
To be continued….
